Tax Rebate Rant

The election has been a major topic of discussion in our home for weeks. Regardless of what anyone says, having watched ALL stations I still find the the FAIREST coverage presenting both sides, hands down, is Fox. But my preference of TV stations is not what I am ranting about today.
One of the candidates is going to give a LARGE number of workers a rebate... you know the Robin Hood Method..take from the rich and give to the poor. Sounds good except a vast number of people who will get this benefit don't pay taxes. This same vast number of persons DO however get the benefits of what the taxes pay for and that is schools, roads, and the basic tax paid infrastructure of the state. So if I understand this correctly a vast number of people(at least in our state)who work but do not pay taxes because of their income not only get to use all the things that we taxpayers pay for BUT we are now going to give them a check too. Wow, that seems so, so so....... democratic.
I think that we all need to be taxed at the same rate.... 5%- 10% on everything.... nobody gets a break, everyone rich or poor pays the same percentage. No deductions just an across the board tax. The people who don't work(but can and should) but get benefits from the state should be allowed the opportunity to share in the tax experience and they too can have their welfare, WIC,home subsidies, and food stamps taxed at the same rate as us working folks... after all it is income, like a paycheck. That way the rich folk pay more because they are , well... richer but the poor folk pay the same percentage... isn't that fair??? Have a nice day.

Other People's Wedding Food

We were sitting in the ER and it was quiet when the mother-in-law of one of our nurses called and said she had access to left over wedding food. Now to most people eating food left over from another wedding... of someone you don't know.. might be distasteful. Well those people who would turn their nose up at that are not ER nurses and ER doctors. The story is that the wedding reception was held at a local party place and the bride and family just walked out and said to throw the food away. They didn't even take the top of the cake. I personally don't think this wedding is going to last what with the throwing away of the cake top BUT hey I just LOVE wedding cake. YUMMMMMM. Our nurse's mom-in-law worked at said place and told us to come on down and get us some vittles. Mel brought back some decent food. Mind you it in no way was the quality of the food that we had but I was focused on the cake anyway. The cake was yum, it wasn't even in the ballpark of Becky's cake. Understanding that there is no such thing as actual bad wedding cake, on a scale of 1-10 with our cake at a 10 this was a 1.125. But hey, we were hungry and this was free food. Free food is the best kind unless it has been sitting out for several hours. So far none of us feels sick. We found out that Mel left some fried chicken because she didn't have room to carry it out. We sent Mel BACK to the reception hall with a big bowl and she returned with fried chicken and a different kind of cake. Aren't small towns great. It never occurred to us to hesitate to eat stranger's food. Can you imagine a friend calling you from somewhere in Toledo or Cincinnati saying, hey come on over here and get some free food, it's left over wedding food from people we don't know. Oh well, thanks to someone the whole hospital ate tonight and we didn't have to pay for it.... that's so ummmm democratic!!!!
Burrrrrp, have a nice day.

Rebekah

You brighten my life each and every day. You are my proof that there is hope for the future. You shine with beauty inside and out and are a steadfast friend to those who know you. I am humbled because you know my failings and still love me. You make me laugh with your sense of humor. Each day before I sleep I thank God for you, my precious daughter.
Happy Birthday,
Love Mom

Socialism? Get outta here

We were discussing at work the current election and candidates.... and of course Joe the Plumber. Well I don't know or really care about Joe personally but I do know about Debbie the Nurse and what I am hearing out of current politicians mouths smacks of socialism. Wikipedia says that "Socialists mainly share the belief that capitalism unfairly concentrates power and wealth among a small segment of society that controls capital, and creates an unequal society. All socialists advocate the creation of an egalitarian society, in which wealth and power are distributed more evenly."
That is rather scary to me. I someday plan on being really really rich. I am just not sure how I will go about it.... but that is my plan. Now after I get really really rich I will set out to help other people because that would be the absolute biggest high I could be on. I wouldn't hoard it or sit in my vault counting my dollars. Nope, I plan on giving a lot away helping other people along with having a bit of fun myself with the daily massages and on call beautician.... and the occasional bauble for my wrist. When I get all my money, I don't want some jackass in Washington telling me that because I worked hard(or won the lottery) that I need to give more to those who don't work as hard as I do. For the past 25 years I have held at least 2 jobs or one job that I worked a lot of overtime . Why???? Because I take care of my own. I have not waited for someone else to step in and give me money. Now in the past when I have had hard times my family stepped in and helped but THAT'S WHAT FAMILIES DO. If the rolls were reversed I would jump in to help someone else. I want the freedom to do that... I don't want to be told I HAVE to do it.
I am apparently in the financial zone where I will be left alone tax wise because I am not rich(yet) The powers that be are going to go after those folks a lot richer than me. You know what, whether they earned it or inherited it, the money is theirs and it should stay theirs. You want money.... go to school, take active part in your children's education, learn about discipline and take a look around you at the kids ruined by lack of it. Don't expect for me to take care of you or your kids, I am already doing too much. I am amazed the number of couples that come into the ER that have never married but have several kids.... so that they can get medicaid. They don't want to have to pay for medical insurance.....BUT they have all the recreational toys that you could want, the 'camp', and a new car every year and believe me this is not the exception. I don't want Bill Gates to have to give even more money to the 'downtrodden' (D.T)I want him to be my example and an example to young kids that if you try hard, study, apply yourself that you too can gain the financial rewards.
I got some bad news Washington... the majority of the D.T around here just want more handouts. I heard an editorial the other day.... we have created a generation of people who feel that they are entitled. The give-it-to-me society. You want some of my money then get off your butts and start to work, learn to speak English(and I am not just talking about our illegal alien brothers and sisters)improve yourself with education and most importantly take responsibility for yourself. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU.
It's sad that most are now focused on what Joe has or has not done in his life..... listen up and understand...... the important thing about that whole exchange was the answer to the question that Joe asked. The answer was that the wealth needs to be spread around and I am here to give my opinion that, no it doesn't. You work.... you earn... its simple.
Okay, I am done for the day.

The Lapp/Gagney Party

I don't fly. Rather I don't fly well or often if can help it. I am of the school that if God wanted me to fly he would have given me wings. At any rate I decided to 'man up' and fly to West Palm Beach to my friend Jojo's house for a party. Her baby, Alexis(aka Bobo) was being feted at a baby shower by her sisters. Jojo and I decided that I would come in costume to fool her two other daughters, Tonya and Aggie. I purchased stretch pants 2 sizes too small, a pink top equally too small, a long brown wig, a hideous pink striped scarf that I used as a belt. Horrible plastic jewelry and big cheap sunglasses. I wore orange, pink and white wedgie heels to walk in. I also found a great stuffed pillow catfish and carried it with me as a gift from Stanley to the baby. I traveled in my scrubs and changed into my outfit when I got to Florida. In the bathroom as I was putting on my wig one woman asked me if I was hiding or running.... I was stunned.. I said you can't be serious,dressed like this carrying a 4 foot stuffed catfish. As I went out into the lobby area I saw a man who looked like Perry, Jojo's husband and he was laughing. Let me preface this huge mistake of identity on my part by telling you I had on my contacts and cheap sunglasses that distorted my vision somewhat. I walked over to the laughing 'Perry" waved my hand down my body stating 'you want som'a dis big boy' then when I got no immediate response(which should have been a clue) I said 'or do you want me to bite your wife on the ass'? Now before you judge me about the statements I will say that you have to know Perry and that both of those comments were not out of line. The man looks over to the older woman next to him and says I don't know, let me ask her. I was beyond horrified. I pulled my sunglasses off explained I really couldn't see well and that I thought he was someone else as I was backing away... before I could get arrested for solicitation. Needless to say I did surprise Tonya and Aggie.

Above is a picture of Bobo, me, Aggie, Jojo, and Tonya.. oh and Calvin the catfish.Jojo arranging a mound of wonderful baby gifts.
Perry, the host with the most and his mom Muriel
The expectant parents.
The party was great fun with fabulous food cooked by the baby daddy mama Susie( or the paternal grandmother to be). They had an assortment of games but the best was the name tags. The girls made little diaper name tags with names associated with childbirth and conception on each 'diaper'. Names like vagina, rectal tear, meconium, mucous plug, penis, sperm, ova, breast, bloody show ... you get the drift. During the shower you had to address each person by their new name. If you used their real name you had to drop money in a basket to be collected at the end of the shower and given for the baby. Oh and we drank out of baby bottles which great gramma's Muriel and Rose felt was the best idea. You don't spill on yourself... personally I find it great for champagne.

All in all it was a great weekend, with wonderful food, great friends, and all for a happy occasion. Jojo and Perry have made their home a place where all feel welcome and part of the family. I was nostalgic as I looked at Bobo with her baby belly remembering, that I held her as a baby. I had a neon sign flashing in my head that said you are getting old. Getting old isn't so bad especially surrounded by family and friends like family. Jojo you are blessed in your children and their mates. I echo Muriel's statement to me when she said that you and Perry were made for each other. I am happy that my friend of nearly 30 years after kissing a few frogs, finally found her prince and soul mate and that he is willing to open his arms and home to your assortment of friends.... however odd!!!! I love you both.

Last Wedding Installment(I promise) The Wedding Academy Awards

Every great production deserves awards, so I have started the Wedding Academy Awards. Unfortunately I do not have pictures for all the winners because as stated earlier my camera broke and I have been dependent on others for pictures.


Award for the Best Bride and Groom of 2008: (duh...) Rebekah and Shane Garrard

Best Caterer for a evening soiree held at the Hilton Hotel in Lafayette: TWISSTED SISTERS of Breaux Bridge, Louisiana. Pictured above are two of the best twisted sisters you could want!!!

Best Makeup Artist in a stressful situation... the fabulous Lauren Thomas
Best Entertainment Supplied by a Duo: Brian Wesson and Rick Green(voted unanimously by all who attended... also we are going thru an adoption process so that they HAVE to come to all family reunions)
Best Looking Trio from the bride's father's side of the family: Thelma, Elaine, and Lisa

Best Sister In Law 2008: Jessica Garrard
Most Gorgeous Cousins on the Brides side of the family :Trevor, Josh, Mindy. Not pictured but included in the award are Carrie, Ben, Jeff, Kyle,Rosemary, Lance, Gavin,Lisa, Mark, Robbon, Jenny, Brandon, Chris, Jen and Jon.

Award for the Greatest Aunts and Uncles as Duos: Barbara and Bob, Patti and Jack, Elaine and Ruben

Award for the Greatest Adopted Aunts: JoJo, Tante Jill, Ruthie and missing (due to Hurricane Ike) Kay McGuire

Award for the Best In-Laws: Frances and Benny Garrard AND Debbie and Stan Higginbotham(yea!!!! I do so love to win)

Award for the Best Dancing by a Father-In-Law: Benny Garrard(sorry Stan)

Award for the Best Support: My Spanx

Award for Best Hair Stylists Lori Lemelle and Christy Stelly


Award for Best Flowers and Decorations: Ted Viator and Staff from The Gardenaire

Award for the Best Food: Chef Brian, owner of Imonelli's


Award for the BEST WEDDING CAKE EVER: The Sweet Shoppe

Award for the Best Wedding Invitations: By Invitation Only


Special Award for the Best Supporting Cast: All the bridesmaids and groomsmen


Special Award for the Best Guests: All those wonderful people who made the day so very special

Final Award for the Best Host and Hostess with the mostest Yea!!!!!!!ME and Stanley

We had a blast, and enjoyed everyone that came. Thanks for being you!!!!

Wedding Installment #5 - The Reception

The wedding was over and we all filed back to the limos... I realized that I would have 'squat-walk' more towards the front of that long limo so I opted to sit up with the driver. He told me I looked very 'lovely' probably hoping for a big tip. I was very comfortable except for my feet which were swelling at an alarming rate. I had a thought that it might have to do with my Spanx. My Florida BFF had the foresight to bring me my nasty black flip flops which I put on without a second thought.
Walking into The Crown Room I didn't know what to expect. I had the best of the best decorator Ted Viator of the Gardenaire and the owner of the party room Mark Melancon who did the tables... but I still was in for a huge surprise. It was beautiful, actually it was better than beautiful. I couldn't have imagined how lovely it was. The main hallway was decorated with potted trees and pictures of the kids as they were growing up. At the end of the hallway was a huge urn with cascades of live flowers and under that was the kid's engagement picture and the guest book. When I walked into the main party room it was breathtaking. Surrounding the room were several huge urns like in the front with similar cascading flowers. The dance floor was black and white checkerboard. Above the floor was a chandelier with flowers and gauzy material draping to the four corners. The table settings were lovely in their simplicity. Ted made the room a showplace all for my daughter and her husband. We had the wedding catered by Imonellis and the food never stopped. Brian the owner of Imonellis was there to supervise and we had a wide selection of food that was awesome. There were different food stations situated around the room. We had everything from beef to pork, seafood to pasta, fruit, shrimp, vegetables and a grit station. Grits are the southern potatoes to you people up north. These were served in martini glasses with your choice of shrimp sauce or a beef sauce. YUMMMM. We had two bars and a great DJ. After the initial bride and groom dance Becky danced with her daddy and of course he cried, bless his heart which made me cry.

THE MOP DANCE
Down here there is a tradition that if the younger sibling in the family gets married first the older sib has to dance with a mop if he is male or a broom for the female. I had asked my Florida BFF Jojo to make a face on a mop for me. What she brought was a fully decorated head with eyes and lips with a mop head for hair. The Mop had a hat, tu-tu, arms and shoes at the end of the stick. It even had little boobies. It was the cutest thing I have seen in a long time. Joshua was called out on the dance floor and given the mop by Becky to dance with. It was really funny.

THE MONEY DANCE
Another tradition is the money dance in which the bride and the groom dance with others who pin money on them for the honor of dancing. I really felt that I should have gone out and let them pin money on me except that I can't dance..... maybe give me money not to dance.

THE CAKE
I have been looking forward to wedding cake all year long. Wedding cake is better than birthday cake. My sister Barbara made me promise that I would have a butter cream icing and not that Crisco stuff or marshmallow stuff. The cake was yumm. I have it on good authority that if you have feet the size of bread loaves that wedding cake does not count against the total wedding food caloric intake. Understanding that, I had two pieces. Two large pieces with icing. The groom's cake was a carrot cake bottom with Humvee shaped cake on the top with Yoda driving. Yes, Shane loves Star Wars.
It was a grand affair. I loved the whole thing. I wish that my feet had not exploded into king size because I had just awesome shoes for the wedding. But the best thing is I got a great new son-in-law who loves my daughter and she him. And I got wedding cake.