Well Quite Frankly Scarlet, Aging Sucks

I just can't stop myself. I just finished jogging down memory lane in my last blog and I am still thinking about aging. I don't have a choice. I. Am. Getting. Older. It. Sucks. You can give me all the rah rah crap about the serenity of our elder years and how age brings wisdom and best of all how 60 is the new 50. Horse shit. Younger is better. My skin, hair, eye sight, and boobs all were better younger. Well the boobs aren't. After the cancer I have permanently perky boobs sans nipples... they are so very perky you will be able to sit a glass of champagne on them while I am laid out in my casket.... I miss being able to see day light between my thighs. I miss my size 10 string bikini and my tight narrow leg jeans. I miss my memory. I miss dating. Between husbands I loved to date. It was up to the yahoo I went out with to impress me. I juggled several yahoos. I had a good time. Oh man do I miss tanning. The big C stopped that in short order and quite frankly as said before tan fat looks a hell of a lot better than white fat. I miss thin ankles and high heels. I miss thin fingers that aren't bent with arthritis. It loses the impact when I am pointing at something and my finger is off by 30 degrees. I even miss jogging..sort of. Well what I really miss is getting whistled at when I jogged by in my shorts. Now, if I jog on the treadmill the staff at the gym will give me a standing ovation, but it's not the same thing. I miss being able to hold my urine. But my lack of bladder control may not be the fault of those pesky kegles muscles it may be a mind thing. I can pee just before I leave work and by the time I get home 20 minutes later I am hobbling in the house cross legged trying to make the pot before I wee wee down my leg. Nah... it's still the kegles. I think I must have had a kegal centered stroke. I miss being able to stay up till all hours and then get up after 3 hours sleep and go to work and feel great.

Things that I don't miss and I do like about aging.

I don't miss shaving my legs every day. I shave one a month if I think about it and maybe not even then. I am not quite as hairy as I was. I don't miss being polite all the time. While I am not rude exactly, I just pretty much say what I want to say. Younger times I would have worried about what the person thought about me.... now I just don't care and I go by the theory that Honesty is really the BEST Policy. My memory being what it is half the time telling a lie to be polite is risky because I will forget what I said. I really do like the fact that I have been around long enough that a)nothing much surprises me b) if by chance I am surprised I can be rude about it and make a pithy comment. I like knowing things. I know a lot of things.... don't ask me what right now but as it comes up I realize I know things. I like that I have read thousands of books and I am very pleased that few are self help crap. I like that crossword puzzles in the NYT or the USA Today don't stump me for long. I like the fact that age has taught me the importance in paying attention to politics and letting my voice be heard(people at work don't like that but then of course they are younger) I like the fact that I have had close friends for 30+ years that have stood the test of time. There is something about knowing a person that long that is special.
I like that fact that generally when I speak, people listen... and usually do what I want.

They have a new pill out that has been successful with mice. Apparently the physical side of aging has been reduced by like 20 mouse years..... I want to test that pill.

Memory Lane

Well I just hit the big 59. I am staring directly at 60 and it leaves me breathless. I recently made a whirl wind pass through trip to Columbus, Ohio and passed by my old homestead( see 2 blogs down with pics). This blog is going to ramble some so bear with me as I jot down memories that I thought were gone. I drove by my old elementary school and through my old neighborhood. Nothing much has changed and I remembered a simpler time. I told my friend how when I was growing up it was not unusual to walk three streets over to visit my friends Susie and Sandy. I never felt scared after dark, no one tried to pick me up, I never knew anyone who had been kidnapped by a predator or even what a child molester was. It was funny but visiting brought back happy memories and those that had hurt. Each year during elementary school I went to Nancy Northrup's house for her birthday. Her father took us to the Jet's baseball game and we spent the night at her house. She had a doll called Pitiful Pearl and I can still see it in my mind's eye. When I passed by my elementary school I remembered Marta who lived across the street... I thought she was the most cool in my 6th grade class and I could see her as she was then. I remembered Debbie Curry who had a real swimming pool in her back yard. Debbie was covered in freckles and I was jealous because I didn't have any. I remember in 5th or 6th grade that Barb, Melanie and I had desks together and they got mad at me because I was horse crazy and that's all I talked about. I was extremely irritating and unknown to me for a time they took turns and wrote down everything I said( thank you Jesus they didn't have a tape recorder)and finally they "talked" to me and told me why they hated me. I cried that day and Marta asked me to her house after school and that made being snubbed by my desk mates tolerable and she told me the whole class thought that Barb and Mel were 'weird' and not to feel bad. I passed by the front of the school where we used to play 4-square. I was playing there the day President Kennedy was killed. I played with Patty Weigand as a child and was in awe of her fake silver Christmas tree that changed colors via a rotating color wheel. Patty got a Chatty Cathie talking doll one year and it flat killed me, I wanted one like that so badly. I remembered that after Astronaut John Glen went up Patty got a live chicken for Easter and called the damn thing John Glen. Scott Fortenbacher lived one street over and I wonder if he still has that Lionel Train set. The set up took up most of his basement, it was a guy thing but still pretty neat. I thought of Melanie(a different Mel) who got the first Beatles haircut and Betsy Hicks who had Friday slumber parties and couldn't eat peperoni pizza until after midnight because she was Catholic. We were poor and we couldn't afford many up to date clothes. In junior high school Sandy Kennard got "Villager" clothes and I was pea green with envy. Susie Loik had the coolest bedroom and played tennis in her bare feet. Susie and Sandy both had that "something" that made others want to be around them and I was glad that we were friends. We called our parents Mr. and Mrs. and we moved freely around each others homes. I was called Girt... I don't remember why... and in high school we wrote notes to each other daily(today we would have texted). I thought of my first real crush( NOT returned) in elementary school, his name was Bernie. I don't think I was particularly popular but I did manage to go to all three senior proms (Tom, Ray, and Randy in that order). I spent winters skating at Westgate Pond and summers swimming at Bender's pool (also called Hilltop). Our world was different then and better. There were rules and we obeyed them. If we didn't we got in trouble. Our parents did not expect the schools feed us and teach us manners. That was the job of our parents AND if we acted the ass we got it BAD at home. A note from the teacher was a guaranteed grounding. School was for education. We prayed in school and daily said the pledge. We didn't have the worry that indiscretions, real or imagined, would be put on YouTube or texted to the whole class. We sniped and gossiped about each other as girls will but it pretty much stayed in the neighborhood. I don't remember being really bullied nor was I mean. I think I just pretty much went with the flow. I was a Blue Bird, Campfire Girl and Girl Scouts and hated all of them. I took piano lessons from a neighbor, Miss Ruth Thatcher. Miss Ruth was blind and utilized light knuckle slapping when a wrong note was played. I hated to practice and the knuckle slapping got old thus the only thing I can play now is chopsticks. The library is still there at the end of the block. I wish I could remember the librarian's name. I owe her so much. She encouraged my reading and fed my imagination. I am what I am now because of where I was raised. I took what I was given and made it better. End of my ramble.

PS. Before I forget.... to my tablemates Barb and Melanie..... bite me.

Demi the Wonder Dog update and Christmas

Demi the Wonder dog is recuperating from having her uterus yanked out. I wanted to have this done in Houston at Kay's clinic but the timing sucked and she was going into heat again so I went up the road to Dr. Guidry's clinic and he did a great job. Demi loves to "go" anywhere. She loves to go to the kennel(the last time she was there for a week and I think it worried her that we weren't coming back) she doesn't mind the vet, she will hop in the car just to ride around the block. I have been loading her and going about my errands recently because it makes her so dadgum happy to watch the scenery go by. This last Tuesday she hopped into the car and I took her to the vet and she was just so pleased to visit. She wagged her whole butt upon entering the clinic. I left her with a bunch of kisses and picked her up at 5 pm. She was hunched up, guarding her belly, tried to wag but yelped, the movement apparently caused some pain. Man she looked...ummm sort of sad and bewildered. I walked her to the car and lifted her in she laid down and didn't move. I got her home and had to lift her out of the car. She stood by the couch and I lifted her up to the couch and covered her with a blanket. She dozed for about 3 hours. She refused all water and food but did pee later in the evening after I carried her outside. I think she liked the "being carried" part. I finally got her to lap out of the toilet and lifted her up into the bed and she slept the entire night after I medicated her for pain. She is better today. She refused water this morning but lapped up dilute chicken broth with rice. She got her pain medication and is now resting in her crate.

Christmas is going to change again this year as far as my traditions go. Last year it was minimal because we went on the cruise. This year I am decorating to my hearts content but I am not dragging out the dinner and breakfast like I usually do. We will have dinner and then open presents and because of Becky and my schedule it will happen before Christmas Eve. This is still my favorite holiday but I have lost some of the 'thrill'. This year has been difficult for me for many reasons and I think it has dimmed some of the joy that I experience. I will not have the huge amount of presents to gift. I am having to cut back in many ways and it has really made me sad. I laid in bed last night and thought about what is happening within my world. I realized that nothing or no one can take my joy unless I give it up. So today in this blog, I am claiming my joy. I will not allow anyone or anything to impact my happiness. My Louisiana BFF Jill Mary is coming over to help me clean and decorate next week. She is strapped for money and it just kills her not to be able to buy presents. I can understand her feelings, I would be just like that. I told her that I needed help with the house and she is gifting me her time and energy to help me get ready for the holidays. What a wonderful gift, I couldn't be more thrilled and thru her generosity of her time I am learning that presents don't always have to be wrapped up with a bow and stored under the tree.

Thanksgiving 2010

I just got back from vacation yesterday and had no plans for today. Becky called me this morning to wish me a happy Thanksgiving and to find out my plans. She said that Francis and Benny would love to have me over and figured that I worked. Francis and Benny always send me a plate to work because I usually do work on the holiday. I vetoed Becky's plan to call Shane to let him know that I was off. It made me feel funny and I don't know why. Believe me anyone who has eaten fare from the Garrard family knows what a treat it is but I just felt that I was imposing. How do you tactfully call someone and say... ummm hey there I am off, can I eat with you?? Stan is hunting and I don't know what Josh and Syd were doing so I decided it was up to me to make or break my own day. I started the day watching the Macy's parade. It brought memories of Thanksgivings at Aunt Edna's when we would all get together, watch the parade on a COLOR TV and have a family meal. I found tears rolling down my cheeks. Man I miss my mom. We didn't have a lot of money but holidays were family days and are so dear to my heart. Demi the wonder dog has not left my side. She was at the kennel for a week and I think she missed me. While I sat in my chair she climbed up beside me and scooched beside me and kept her head on my lap. I finally rousted myself and went to the store because our cupboard is really bare. I thought about turkey but I am not a fan unless it is fried so I settled on a prepared chicken. I bought salad fixings and corn on the cob. I prepared my meal and watched Miracle of 34th Street while I ate. All in all it was a peaceful time. I remembered Texas Thanksgivings with my friend Ruth. I hated to think of anyone alone at Thanksgiving. I worked at the clinic on Texas A&M's campus and came in contact with several students who for financial reasons couldn't go home so I invited them to my house. This started a tradition between Ruthie and me and we alternated homes each year. We were filled to the rafters with friends and strangers... mostly students... and we had the most blessed of times. It wasn't unusual to have at least 50 people come and go. I miss that. I am blessed in so many ways, I have a wonderful family, wonderful friends, a job that I enjoy, a warm secure home, and a great dog. Thank you God for all my blessings and for this day that was spent in reflection. I am content.

Our Adventure in the North, Toll Roads, Tests, Tears and Laughter. A Trip Home

Note that the next blog down has pictures from our trip.

Jill and I set out for Racine, Wisconsin on November 17th so that she could do her clinicals to complete her testing to become a registered nurse. We drove straight thru(about 15 hours). I have never in my life seen so many toll roads. What is that about?? I am guessing that from beginning to end we spent about 40 bucks on tolls. We left Racine and I aged years driving thru Chicago..OMG it was Sunday and the traffic was horrible. We traveled 5 hours to Perrysburg, Ohio to see my sister Barb and my nieces. My other sister Patti couldn't come over from Iowa and was greatly missed. I have several favorite foods(as evidenced by the size of my Grannie panties) but my very favorite thing is shortbread Christmas cookies with butter cream icing that my sister Barb makes. They are a pain in the butt to make and my sister made me a box full. I am not sure what points to assign them in my Weight Watcher's plan but it doesn't matter. I ate the whole box over 4 days. My bad. Carrie and Barb put us up in a great hotel for two days and kept us entertained. We went out to eat, went to a great church, and just spent time with family and friends. It ended too soon. We left Perrysburg and traveled to Wooster, Ohio to see my oldest sister, Joann Page. Wooster is a small town in Amish country and somehow even using GPS we got lost after we left Jo's to get to the interstate. We arrived in Columbus a good hour late to visit with my Aunt Edna who is in a rehab unit recovering from a TIA and pneumonia. When I saw her I cried. Don't get me wrong, she looks good and is alert but she made me realize how much I miss my mom. She is my mom's only sibling and we spent so much time with her family while I was growing up. I told her that we would be back thru Columbus in April and that we would stop again. I love you Aunt Edna, and when it's your time, remember to tell mom how much I miss her. My plan was to be in Tennessee by that night but only made it another 15 miles down the road to Grove City. I was lured by the promise of White Castles, a soft bed, and good company. Angela and Paige Jacob and her dad Lee Amos welcomed us into their home for the night. We drank beer, ate sliders and had the best time. Lee gave up his bed to Jill and I with the warning to try to stay away from his underwear drawer. In the morning Jill said that we should have both come downstairs with a pair of his drawers on our heads. We should have done it... Lee would have been hysterical. I went by the old neighborhood showed Jill my elementary school(I don't know what made me think that she would be interested... I really don't), drove to my old house to take a picture. The house is a mess. The only thing missing is a car jacked up on cinder blocks. The poor neighbors. Any way I went next door to the Gormans, walked in to sing Happy Birthday to Fran for her 70th. I cried at her house too. Traveling down memory lane has been tough on my tear ducts. Blessings to you, Fran and Roger and I am so glad I was able to visit. This trip has been a bag of mixed feelings. Jill will have to return to test again and that is a heartbreak but we had such a good time visiting with my family and friends. Jill saw her first Amish ( she thought he was a statue), ate her first White Castle, learned to love Blue Collar Comedy and willingly sang happy birthday to a stranger. I drug her all over the state of Ohio and she laughed a lot. As for me, I have learned that I will never, ever harbor a desire to live in Chicago. I have visited my past and the memories nearly bowled me over and I spent time with my friends and relatives and laughed with joy. I ate "sliders" and drank beer, and smoked too much. I talked so much my throat hurt. I actually entertained the idea of wearing a pair of men's underwear on my head( and wish I had). And last but not least.... I got Christmas cookies with icing. All in all it was such a great trip and is one that I will make again. This next time I will take more time.

Pictures From Debbie and Jill's Excellent Adventure

Jill getting into the car at midnight. We traveled all night to reach Racine, Wisconsin.
Carrie White and her son Drew. She is my sister Barb's middle child and Drew is Carrie's youngest.
Jill, Paige, Mindy and Angela
Mindy Bowling. Mindy is my sister Barb's oldest child
Paige and Angela Jacob. Ang is my "adopted niece", the daughter and granddaughter of Connie and Lee Amos
Joel White my oldest great nephew, son of Carrie and Ben
Evan White, Carrie and Ben's middle son
Andrew White, Carrie and Ben's youngest son
Barb and me!!!
The dinner group at a Japanese steak house... yum!
Mindy, Carrie, and moi.
My sister Joann Page. We visited her in Wooster, Ohio
Edna Bagley is my mom's only sister. She is recovering from pneumonia. Edna is 92.
Angie and her dad, Lee Amos. They kept us overnight and fed us White Castles. I was in heaven
Roger and Fran Gorman were our neighbors in Columbus. She just had her 70th Birthday and Jill and I stopped by to sing to her. What a treat for her..LOLOL we did really surprise her!!
My elementary school.
This was my home. I lived here till I was 26. It looks nothing like it used to. On the off chance that it's current owner reads this blog. Clean your yard, be nice to your neighbors.... you don't know just how lucky you are to have the wonderful neighbors that you have.


Jill and I made one last trip to the Castle for sliders. Krystal burgers have nothing on a White Castle!!!

Vote

Today we may get a chance to reverse the direction this country is headed. The rah, rah Democrats and Republicans(and independents), who stood behind Obama on TARP, health care, HUGE government and his love of illegal immigrants, have been abandoning his side like rats leaving a sinking ship. But we remember who you are, and I have no love for anyone who flip-flops their opinions based on public opinion. Obama "misspoke"( I am coming to hate that term) when he told the Latinos to come against the 'enemy'.... I guess that would be conservatives ie: Republicans, and Tea Party proponents. In history the pinnacle of success for a LEGAL immigrant in America was the ability to provide a living for his family and to obtain citizenship. Obama and his ilk want to cheapen and denigrate that object of success.. first by the programs designed to keep the populace dependent on the government for their basic needs and second by providing sanctuary for illegal immigrants, in fact encouraging them to stay. Today we will see unprecedented cheating at the voting precincts involving illegal immigrants voting. What a shame that citizenship to my beloved country is for sale for a vote. We are living in the days of "Chicago" politics where cheating(on both sides) is considered normal. The men and women who are our first line of defense don't get their vote counted. This has been going on for years. Come on people, we put a man on the moon years ago and we can't COUNT THE VOTES OF OUR SERVICEMEN AND WOMEN.
If you read my blog then you have a homework assignment... VOTE then come home and look up on the Internet 'the progressive movement' teach your children and yourself what the progressive movement is and how it threatens our way of life.
Finally as a tea-party leaning Republican, Mr. President, I am NOT your enemy, I am your worst nightmare... an educated voting American with a big mouth and the facts to back up my statements.