Going to Hell in a Handbasket and Playing Golf, Unions and the Dayton Police

Lots of things have been happening in our world in the last few weeks. My prayers and donations have gone to Japan for the devastation that has happened in their world. It just wasn't enough that an earthquake hit because what it didn't ruin the resultant tsunami took care of. The Japanese are tough, resilient and will overcome this but to add insult to injury the quake and tsunami did a number on their nuclear power plants and they are damaged, on fire and spewing radioactive material. The Japanese government states that all is okay but as we know here, governments lie. It just depends on who has the most money to lose. The Middle East is in a state of chaos the likes that I have never seen in my lifetime. Israel is hunkering down and waiting. The biggest terrorist this side of bin Laden, Libya's own Muamar Gadaffi is murdering people in his own country to control a rebellion set to dethrone this monstrous dictator. What are we doing? WE(that would be the royal we) are playing golf. I really don't begrudge Obama a game of golf but come on, the world is falling apart and he is on the green. Someone, maybe his wife, since his advisers don't have the sense that God gave a goose, needs to tell him that there is a time and a place to play. NOW IS NOT THE TIME. I did not vote for this idiot. It's your fault.

On the home front Scott Walker, Republican Governor from Wisconsin, took on the unions and won. They will now have to pay slightly more for their health care and pensions and they also have their collective bargaining rights restrained. This affects ALL public employees except the police and fire departments. The teachers have been up in arms and have involved their students in the demonstrations as evidenced on the news today when on a class trip the little kids were chanting and holding signs. What a crock of shit. If I lived up there and my child were involved in this I would be scalping their teacher. Talk about indoctrination. I have union issues. I understand about workers rights. But unions by and large protect substandard employees. I applauded the firing of 13 of the 15 Chysler auto workers who were caught on tape during their lunch break using drugs and drinking. Two were suspended without pay but then reinstated. Don't know why.. maybe they tested negative for the alcohol and drugs but THEY WERE THERE. They knew what was going on and by their passive participation, they felt that it was okay. Fire them too. We have teachers who lie, cheat(fake MD excuses.. and the doctors that wrote those notes should lose their licence's) and demonstrate on days that they should be in the classrooms. I wouldn't want that kind of influence on my children. In Dayton, Ohio the police entrance exam now has to have a passing rate of a 60 to allow minority races who have been "educationally deprived"(where were the teachers?) to pass so that they can carry guns, protect the public and write tickets and fill out reports... good luck with that.. you can't even pass the entrance test. The excuse is that they didn't receive the same education that their classmates had and that the exam is geared more towards Caucasians. Could it be that those same individuals didn't a)attend class b) were socially promoted, c)played football, baseball etc. and were given grades(which is the administrations fault and not the teachers)d)had parents that didn't participate in their education, or e) God forbid, just plain stupid? If all the above things don't apply then they had a rotten teacher.. and just to show you I am not prejudiced.. there are rotten nurses out there practicing as well. If the teacher is rotten then thanks to the unions she can keep on under-educating students till she retires. So follow me here, if those individuals in Dayton, Ohio who can't pass the police entrance exam... attended class, didn't play sports, studied 4 hours a day, had parents who attended each teacher conference and made sure their homework was done, then they had a rotten teacher and thus a union problem.

I have many friends who are teachers and love what they do. They express the ongoing concern that the kids are disconnected from school and, that friends is traced back to the parents. If the home is single parent and said parent is gone working or playing instead of keeping track of what junior is doing then the fault is partially theirs( if they haven't instilled the fear of God in their little angels to study), the rest lies with the individual person. My mom was a single parent and worked 2 jobs. I did my homework, I studied(not as much as I should have) and I was able to go to college. You want to get ahead apply your lazy ass to the seat of a chair and study. Self motivation can even beat the worst teacher. It is ridiculous to dumb down a test to accommodate a person who lacked the self motivation to help themselves.

Wow... end of my rant.

Kansas, Missouri, Flying, Constipation, and Cerner

I went on a trip from February 27th through March 4th. My director asked me to take her place and go to Kansas to spend the week at Cerner Corp. I hate to fly. This is a vast understatement. It took me hours to give her an answer but I had decided to take her place. My hospital is part of Lafayette General Medical Center and the whole computer system is being overhauled to accommodate the changes in the health care system. We are still pushing paper at my little hospital and I really have been looking forward to computerized charting not only because it will streamline the work that we do but, because of the design, patient care will be positively affected. I still stand firmly against our government having ANYTHING to do with my medical records but recognize the local need for rapid transfer of information. That being said I went to Kansas for classes.

The Flight Coming and Going
I flew with several co-workers from each hospital. Denise and I were roommates and managed to sit beside each other on the flight going. We had two 1 and 1/2 hour legs, the first to Dallas then on to Kansas. Dear God in heaven. The SEATS. Okay I am not stupid and I realize that my butt has increased over the years but I don't need a seat belt. I just have to cram my ass into the chair and the overflow that squeezes though the armrest more that amply secures me to the seat. I sat on my seat belt when I first got on board and like to NEVER found it. As soon as we got in the air I raised the arm rest between Denise and me and sort of flowed over onto her side. She was very gracious about the whole thing. Coming back on the last leg of the trip I sat in the single seats on the left side of the plane( I prefer to call them "seatlettes" sort of junior seats for junior size butts)Prior to getting on they announced that our bathroom didn't work and apparently they didn't have another plane in the whole fleet of American Airlines that they could substitute. That's okay. What they did though was announce repeatedly that the bathroom did not work and that we would have to go to the john prior to leaving. What happens when you know that you can't go to the bathroom for a period of time... like in a traffic jam, on a stuck elevator, first in line at the Wallmart Black Friday Sale OR in an airplane without a toilet. YOU HAVE TO PEE. It doesn't matter that 5 minutes before the flight you have urinated, the minute the doors slam shut you just got to GO. To make matters worse my seat beltlette cut into my bladder the the ride was a little rough.

The Hotel and Being Roommates
As stated before I roomed with Denise. Similar to me she doesn't like anyone to come in the room while we were gone so we opted out each day for housekeeping. We were just a little messy(paaaahaaaaa). I didn't realize just how messy we were till we saw Kathleen's room. It was spotless, nothing out of place.. looked like she had just come in. She was by herself for 2 days... if that had been me I would have been all over that room like a bad rash..... I would have pillows, clothes, computer, books etc all over the place. I have known Denise for 10 years but I have never pooped in her vicinity. And since my poop doesn't smell like roses I had a problem. I would bet that anyone reading this who had to room with someone other than a relative had the same issues. To make it worse when I travel I tend towards constipation so I take ducolax with me to handle the issue. To poo or not to poo. A way to deal with this is the "garlic" method. You know when you go out to eat with a boyfriend and you want to eat garlic?? You make him eat garlic too so that he won't gag when he kisses you goodnight. What you have to do is convince the person you are rooming with that they are constipated as well!!!! Then you can bond over ducolax pill. It really worked... by the end of the trip we were farting in front of each other!!!!(Denise is just going to kill me for telling that)

Eating and the Per Diem
30 bucks a day really is plenty to eat on. You cannot go to beer gardens, Jack Stax BBQ for ribs, Houston's Steak House and the Cheese Cake Factory, order room service every day for breakfast and stay within the budget. I went over my per diem by about 130 bucks. I just had an AHA moment. There is a definite correlation between the way I eat and the size of the plane seatlettes. Anyway, we ate well and often. To those of you that have a Cheese Cake Factory in your town let me HIGHLY recommend the Shepard's Pie. OMG!OMG!OMG!. I have never been in a Cheesecake Factory restaurant so I don't know if they are are constructed the same but in Kansas City the bathroom is on the second floor. You can walk up the stairs in the middle of the restaurant or you can take the elevator. Just a suggestion: Get rid of the mirrors in the elevator or cut them off at waist level. I got on and was assaulted by different views of my butt. Even closing one eye didn't make it smaller. I still ate the cheese cake.

Cerner
All I can say is WOW. Cerner rocks. I am a technotard and was lost the first 2 days but claim victory because on the third day I started to understand. This is an amazing facility that included several buildings over some of the prettiest acreage I have seen. The people are dedicated to helping you understand and working on a solution that best meets your company's needs. Just a little suggestion. Chair lift to the cafeteria. From our building you have to walk up a hill to the cafeteria or you can take the outdoor stairs. I made it the first day... my heart rate was 148(not kidding) when I got to the top. I should have done it every day. I really did enjoy myself and I am looking forward to seeing this huge project take shape.

I so enjoyed meeting people that I had only talked with on the phone. There are some funny people at the main hospital and I laughed more this week than I had in a long time. My big concern was my clothes but I held up my end of the business casual dress code. Thanks to everyone for answering questions when I asked, and thanks to whoever put this together.. the logistics must have been a nightmare. Big thanks to Denise. You are an awesome roommate!!!!!!

My Day In Court as Described by My Bad Angel

I had to go to court the other day and no I was not in trouble. One of the other nurses and I had come prepared to testify in a case that we were involved in. I had just gotten off work and was in scrubs and my hair was a mess. I have a habit of running my fingers thru my hair when I am charting. I honestly don't care what my hair looks like at work. I am there to work, not to cause jealousy among other staff at my beautiful locks. Besides, in a previous blog "Bad Hair Day" I noted that every time I do my hair and it looks good it seems to attract nasty body fluids. I have digressed...sorry. Anyway Jamie and I were waiting for the doors to open up and we were entertained by the mode of dress that the general population deems appropriate for court day. I had my phone but my good angel let me know that it might be in poor taste and possibly illegal to take pictures of people and post it without their permission and besides you can't bring a phone into court. My bad angel however is writing this blog. There is a dress code in court. No sleeveless shirts, no underwear showing, no body parts(belly buttons, breasts, butts) are allowed to be displayed. You are not allowed to bring phones or purses or for that matter weapons past the front gate. The following suggestions are for those individuals that will be appearing in court in the future:
1) If you like blond hair, make it natural and cover the 4 inch black roots. Washing it would be appropriate as well. Combing, I guess can be optional as that tousled look is somewhat in fashion.
2) Bathing might be something you might want to do at least within a week of your court day. Deodorant is important as well because of the close quarters. Let me add that brushing teeth should be mandatory or don't smile.
3)If you weigh more than a tractor DO NOT wear stretch pants. I had nightmares after seeing my share of visible butt cracks thru skin tight pants. Shirts should fit and not like a glove. If you have to keep tugging it down over your butt it's too tight. You should also avoid wearing patterns that undulate over the bulges.. its almost hypnotic and not in a good way. If you have tattoos on your arms bless your little heart, cover them up. The rule is NO SLEEVELESS SHIRTS. Covering up your fashion mistake with a cammo jacket so that you could keep your court date defies words. The contrasting patterns nearly gave me a seizure.
4)Men, unless you are Brad Pitt, shave. That 5 o'clock shadow you are sporting is not exactly presenting your best face forward. Stop the spitting on the sidewalk. If you chew, go across the street and spit behind a tree. Oh and wipe your chin.
5) It probably isn't a good idea to come to court smelling like a bar and sporting bloodshot eyes...just saying.
6) Fingernails: if you have to money to get those 1 inch iridescent blue sparkly nails on your hands you can afford to get your roots done.

I have gained a new respect for the court system. Justice is indeed blind, she can't smell either. A shout out to all the judges, ADAs. clerks and court reporters, you guys have seen it all and still come back every day to see that everyone has their chance in court. To the defending attorneys... you should be held liable for not mandating that your clients and family members dress appropriately to go before 'his or her Honor". Every law enforcement representative was "spit polished" and looked so professional.

I truly am in awe of what people think is appropriate. My hair, straight as it was, ceased to concern me after what I saw.

Catch Up Time

For those who follow both blogs I have posted on my fat blog. Don't get excited I haven't had any success because I can't say no to anything. I mentioned that I went to the Mississippi lease with Stan over last weekend and was horrified to discover while using the bathroom that I was wall to wall butt. If I don't lose weight I will be forced to go in the woods. If nothing can keep me on my diet that should. We arrived at the lease with both dogs and Stan went in first to turn on the lights and heat. No power. A week ago he had been notified that the lease had been robbed of all the copper wiring that connects all the camps to power. Apparently copper is going for about 4 bucks a pound. His power lines were untouched because they are high up in the trees but the bastards unhooked him from the main box and he was having trouble hooking it back up. It was 26 degrees and I had been cramped in the back seat with Demi the wonder dog for 4 hours. I needed to pee and I was cold. There was no way I was going into the dark camper to pee just in case there was a spider hiding out from the cold. A couple of other men came over and helped Stan hook up. We actually had a good time with some lovely people. The next night we had a dinner with the others... deer meat chili and rib eye steaks. YUM. We sat around an outside fire and visited for hours.
The news has been the same old same old. We are losing ground with the national debt. Our brilliant president wants to spent more money to save money. HUH??? Sounds like he took lessons from me. Listen up stupid. It. Doesn't. Work. You have to cut back and to all Americans it is going to be painful if we take steps to save our country. We are being willingly lead to a socialist type system and we need to stop it now. Obama care is a national health care system. As of 2014 if all hospitals, doctors offices and clinics don't comply with the rules they will be punished financially. I am leaving in a week to go to Kansas City, Kansas to take part in developing a computerized system for our hospital. This is all part of the move to electronic medical records that is mandated by our government. I personally LOVE the idea of computerized charting and totally buy into the fact that it will streamline our charting, increase our ability to provide a continuity of care and decrease the errors and financial loss. I cannot buy into that it is a mandate by MY GOVERNMENT so that they have access to all my health information. Remember as I had stated in an earlier blog that by 2014 all health care providers MUST record and send your BMI( body mass index..the measurement of how fat you are) to the great cesspool in Washington or they will have their reimbursements cut. BAH.. get out of my LIFE.

Egypt exploded. The Muslim Brotherhood is standing in the wings. They may not take over this election but it is coming. I can't imagine what it must be like in Israel at the moment. The only thing I can say is remember the Arab-Israeli War in 1967... the Arabs got their collective butts kicked. My bet and all my prayers will be with Israel.

Joshua and Syd are getting married September 23, 2011. I am going to get to host another party. YAY!! I do so love a great party. This time it's the rehearsal dinner. It's still up in the air but as of now Joshua wants to have a bouchiere (hog roast) at Becky and Shane's house on the bayou. He wants all his aunts, uncles, cousins etc. to be part of the celebration. So I am looking at about 70 plus people. I can do this. Think Martha Stewart does the swamp wedding. I just hope Joshua realizes that fresh pig can cause increased intestinal activity(diarrhea). I may try to get him to chose another type protein. Still and all it will be a great time regardless of the venue. I will need tents, caterers, a zydeco band, porta-potties, bug lights and a lot of fans. I think the hostess gift to all participants will be a can of OFF. The mosquito's are a bitch that time of year. Well, love to all!!

Resolutions for 2011

Every year I start out the same with a list howbeit short that I never stick to. This year I am going all out on my New Year's Resolution list:
1) be a high fashion model.
2)grow my hair long.
3) cook and decorate like Martha Stewart.
4) Save 100,000.00 dollars.
5) get a 100,000.00 raise at work.
6) Appear in a movie(I'm thinking opposite Sean Connery with a kissing scene.... and possibly with tongue).
7) Sing a duet with Sandy Patty
8)Be on Sean Hannity's Great American Panel and throw the football..once.
9) Go to the casino and win on every slot machine I put money in.
10)Meet the President, blow a raspberry at him and tell him he doesn't know a rat's ass about what we need as Americans. (and not get arrested or on a list somewhere)
11)Have Josh Groban over for dinner and have him sing while I cook.
12)Wear high heels again and not fall on my face.
13)Have wild monkey sex, at the beach, in the moonlight, with a string quartet playing softly in the background(behind a bush so they can't see).
14)Win the lottery and share( everybody says that)
15)Go to the Gym everyday and twice on my day's off.
16)Be a vegetarian(cows everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief... this will probably not happen as I can't go a week without beef before I start dreaming about rib roasts and hamburgers)
17) write a book
18) learn to operate my camera other than auto mode.
19) wear a thong(size 6)and stroll casually thru my house (with said thong and the aforementioned high heels) to get a cup of coffee..... in front of Stan...while he is watching the Weather Channel
20. Put 911 on my speed dial.

Notice that I didn't put anything on here about dieting... for that resolution you need to visit www.weightnomorethediaryofafatwoman.blogspot.com

Have a Happy New Year and my prayer for all my 6 readers is that you will be blessed with health, joy, financial increase, and a peace that only Jesus can bring.

Pictures from Christmas 2010

From my house to yours Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas 2010

This is my 59th Christmas and after probably 30 years I turned my traditions upside down and it worked out so very well that I was left with the understanding why nothing should be written in stone... well except the menu for dinner. THAT can't change. I always spread things over 2 days. In the past we had Christmas Eve dinner and opened up a single gift on that night. Then I stayed up till all hours wrapping stocking presents and making breakfast casseroles... and as a reward to myself I also consume a significant amount of cheap champagne. I would go to bed for about 2 hours then get up, light the tree, and pop the breakfast in the oven. I made the kids come back at about 7 am to open stockings and presents. It was always a little tense.. fun but tense(can anyone say tired). I know the "reason for the season" and I love the celebration of Jesus birth, BUT I still think I was hanging on to the illusion that I had to have Santa Clause pass for my adult children. I think that was more for me than them. I also changed my guest list. I had only family and a long time friend, my kid's 'Taunte" Jill. We had 7 at the table and while I missed the wonderful guests I had had in the past I have to admit that this was lovely. We ate a wonderful meal and then opened presents and we had the best time. I am now faced with the daunting process of taking all the decorations down. Keep in mind that I only utilized about 10 of the 20 some boxes of decorations that I have in the attic. My only 2 New Years resolutions(along with the usual following my diet resolution.. but this doesn't count because it's one of those "givens") is to clean out the attic and organize my "lovelies" and to finally get my kid's 1995 present organized and wrapped. I started picture albums for my kids that covers from their great grandparents to present. I have not gotten far and Becky gifted me with a Family Tree Maker download that I am very excited about. If it takes me the rest of 2011 I WILL get this done. So to all my friends and family I hope your Christmas was blessed and that in the midst of all the eating and gifting that time was taken to reflect on the birth of our Lord Jesus.

I have posted pictures in the next blog.