Monday, February 23, 2009
A Mom Memory
This early morning I was caring for an Alzheimer's patient and listening to her talk about her children. She was telling about how her job was never done and she just had to keep watch over her children. I flashed back to the last time I had stayed with my mom in her little apartment. I was sleeping on the fold out sofa and in the middle of the night I awoke to her stroking my hair from my face. I asked her if something was wrong and her answer was that she was just checking on me to make sure I was all right. She bent over and kissed me goodnight and went back to bed. I miss that touch.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Attack of the Fat
My mirror was most cruel today. I put on my scrub top to go to work and noted that my upper arm fat sorta hung down over my elbow...just a little....well maybe more than just a little. I did the dumbest thing. I undressed and looked at myself from all angles. I previously blogged that your mirror will lie to you and it's true until the age of 57 when apparently the scales fall away and you see yourself. I have cankles(where your calf meets your fat ankles) and I have a abdomo-thigh(where your abdomen meets your thighs...standing up) and last but not least my thighs are starting to overlap my knees. The only thing that doesn't droop is my boobs because they are fake. My implants(due to cancer)have gotten smaller in relation to my belly getting bigger. I am really disgusted with myself. I still remember my size 10 string bikini. I remember being able to dance,and do so wildly I might add, in 3 inch heels. My center of gravity is so off that with 3 inch heels I will pitch forward on my face. I can't cross my legs and I can't paint my own toenails. Wiping my butt is becoming a creative endeavor that even I can't discuss here. Okay today is the day. I start back on sugar busters today. Maybe I have just embarrassed myself(I am not sure that is possible)by admitting all the above but I swear to my 4 faithful readers that I am going to do it... I am going to diet and will report here my success and or failure. At the end when, Lord help me, I have successfully shed what amounts to 400 sticks of butter I will post before and after shots..... won't that be a treat!!!! Keep me in your thoughts.
Monday, February 16, 2009
A Rebekah Memory
I recommend all mothers make a note to blog (or journal) when their kids are small so that memories can be preserved. In an effort to let my grand kids know what their parents were like when a memory resurfaces I am blogging it down.
My daughter was a precious angel as a toddler. She had many ear infections and thus didn't talk much till about the age of two to three. One day we heard her out in the back yard talking to the boy across the fence. I can still see the blue gingham dress she had on with her curly white blond hair trailing down her back. She had her hands on her hips and she was reciting every curse word she ever heard, said in toddler-speak: some-a-bitch, 'dannit', shit, poopyhead, and a few others that I cannot write down in fear of the blogging police. I PROMISE you she didn't hear those words at home. Stan brought her in the house to the hall bath and soaped his fingers to wash out her mouth. He told her he had to wash out the bad words and to open up. She opened up and he liberally 'scrubbed' the words out of her mouth. She was not happy and cried real tears and was sent to her room. Nothing more was said and the rest of the day was uneventful. That night as she got ready for bed she knelt down on her knees to pray. After God blessing each of the animals on her wallpaper(her room was done in Woodland Friends paper) She got very serious and said God don' you let Jesus ebber say shithead, some-a bitch, or dannit cause you have to wash he mowf out wif soap. Amen.
My little angel.
My daughter was a precious angel as a toddler. She had many ear infections and thus didn't talk much till about the age of two to three. One day we heard her out in the back yard talking to the boy across the fence. I can still see the blue gingham dress she had on with her curly white blond hair trailing down her back. She had her hands on her hips and she was reciting every curse word she ever heard, said in toddler-speak: some-a-bitch, 'dannit', shit, poopyhead, and a few others that I cannot write down in fear of the blogging police. I PROMISE you she didn't hear those words at home. Stan brought her in the house to the hall bath and soaped his fingers to wash out her mouth. He told her he had to wash out the bad words and to open up. She opened up and he liberally 'scrubbed' the words out of her mouth. She was not happy and cried real tears and was sent to her room. Nothing more was said and the rest of the day was uneventful. That night as she got ready for bed she knelt down on her knees to pray. After God blessing each of the animals on her wallpaper(her room was done in Woodland Friends paper) She got very serious and said God don' you let Jesus ebber say shithead, some-a bitch, or dannit cause you have to wash he mowf out wif soap. Amen.
My little angel.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
At a Loss For Words
To those of you who know me the title of this blog would never describe me. In the past few weeks I have been watching in morbid fascination what is happening to our country. The news now is like coming up on a train wreck, horrible to see, but you can't take your eyes away. I keep thinking I need to watch reruns to get myself in mind numbing state of unawareness. First of all I liked Bush, a lot. I believe he kept us safe. Even then, I was not happy with Bush with the first bailout and let my representatives know that, which as responsible voting Americans we are supposed to do. Now, Obama has forced thru a 'stimulus package' that will keep our country in debt for generations. I have a huge problem with being force fed anything and 1000 + page tome explaining where our money is going that was delivered just days before the vote was to take place smacks of being force fed a pile of crap. I quote my mom a lot in my blog but something she used to say is fitting here. Don't sign anything that you have not read. This makes sense in every situation and anyone who insists that you sign ANYTHING before you have had a chance to read it is selling you a bill of goods. We are living in scary times and our charismatic president is not helping. He is fanning the flames of fear and forcing this stimulation package down our throats before anyone has had the opportunity to read it. It could be the best thing since sliced bread but NO ONE should have signed it without a full disclosure and without Americans being able to have their say thru their elected representatives. I sent off the obvious e-mails to my "people' and told them I would be unhappy if they signed or words to that effect. I strongly feel that this is going to be one of the worst things that has happened to our country and if it turns out that I am wrong then you will read it here first.... I will give a big 'my bad'... eat crow and all that. Time will tell.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
China Imports and Obama Antimama
Coming to work tonight I heard on the news that we have a ton of expensive homes built with drywall from China that is now making people sick. They have traced this to homes built after 2005 till 2007 when we were unable to keep up with demand post hurricanes. Apparently this is mostly in southern Florida and the builders started bringing this crap in from China. Two things come to mind. Number one is: good things come to those that wait. The good things being non-contaminated supplies made in the USA. Number two thing is the absolute scary learning curve demonstrated by the Government officials in charge of protecting us and the lack of memory that we ourselves demonstrate when we purchase things made in China. HELLO doesn't anyone recall our poisoned dogs and cats or how about toys made for our kids with lead based materials, or better yet tainted medication... just to name the three that really stuck in my mind. We have problems of our own in America with contaminated food etc. without importing this crap. Crawfish are a mainstay down in this area. We have local crawfish farmers who stock our stores and we have Chinese crawfish being imported at a greatly reduced price. I am here to tell you that I will never, EVER buy imported crawfish from China.. my mom didn't raise no dummy. It is not surprising the number of people here that prefer to buy the more expensive locally raised crawfish vs. the Chinese import. I guess Louisiana folk are smarter than the average Government official at least when it comes to crawfish. Stan was upset greatly while shopping at Christmas when almost everything traditional to the holiday was made in China. While we waited in line we heard people buying Chinese imports discussing how bad our economy was and the loss of jobs! I now look at all products that I purchase and I try to buy exclusively from the USA and not out of country. But that's just me.
Obama I had hopes for you and then you shot me down within the first week by reversing the ban on giving federal money to international groups that perform abortions. And being the shy retiring man that you are you did it with little to no fanfare.... or were you hoping to slide that one by us? Now I realize that it is a hot political topic and that the ban on the bill was like a boil on the collective liberal ass. They whined that the ban denied U.S. aid to the worlds poor by refusing to fund those groups sponsoring abortions. Those same groups also deal with family planing and HIV/AIDS. That is probably truth. It's simple, to get our money just knock out the abortion clause. Anyway, I have a lot of misgivings about sending money into countries that hate us anyway and I don't think that we should have to contribute money to support a policy that we personally don't agree with. My mom always said that you can't buy your friends because those friends will be able to be bought by someone else with more money. Before I read comments about what a selfish individual I am, let me state that I whole heartedly agree with family planning and global research on HIV/AIDS. Over the years I have changed my mind about abortion. I am not a rabid right-to-lifer(for instance I agree with giving treatment to prevent pregnancies after rapes) but the rabid pro choicers are, well words don't express how I feel about them..... but to use abortion for birth control and/or population control is an abomination. Have we become so jaded that we have lost the alarms of our consciousness?
Obama I had hopes for you and then you shot me down within the first week by reversing the ban on giving federal money to international groups that perform abortions. And being the shy retiring man that you are you did it with little to no fanfare.... or were you hoping to slide that one by us? Now I realize that it is a hot political topic and that the ban on the bill was like a boil on the collective liberal ass. They whined that the ban denied U.S. aid to the worlds poor by refusing to fund those groups sponsoring abortions. Those same groups also deal with family planing and HIV/AIDS. That is probably truth. It's simple, to get our money just knock out the abortion clause. Anyway, I have a lot of misgivings about sending money into countries that hate us anyway and I don't think that we should have to contribute money to support a policy that we personally don't agree with. My mom always said that you can't buy your friends because those friends will be able to be bought by someone else with more money. Before I read comments about what a selfish individual I am, let me state that I whole heartedly agree with family planning and global research on HIV/AIDS. Over the years I have changed my mind about abortion. I am not a rabid right-to-lifer(for instance I agree with giving treatment to prevent pregnancies after rapes) but the rabid pro choicers are, well words don't express how I feel about them..... but to use abortion for birth control and/or population control is an abomination. Have we become so jaded that we have lost the alarms of our consciousness?
Saturday, January 10, 2009
One of Those Days
First of all I am way behind in my blogging. I will probably send out the one about Christmas in the next few days but this day just screamed to be blogged about. I did not make resolutions this year because it just sets you up for failure then you feel bad. Anyway they are the same each year: lose weight, grow hair, lose weight, stop smoking, lose weight, be nicer, lose weight...yada, yada, yada. You get my drift.
I worked last night(Thursday)and went home with no particular sense of impending doom or that this was going to be one of those days. Stan was getting ready to go out of town and in fact had left only to return slightly later having forgotten something. He left again and I figured that I would do my check book. Should have never, ever done that. It is sometimes just better off not to know just how black(or red as in the banking sense) and deep a hole can be. While I was sitting there mulling over the fact that I should ask for a government handout like the big three auto makers are, Stan called and informed me that the car was acting up. He was on his way back to Lafayette and for me to call the dealer. I did so and woke Joshua to see if he could go get his dad. Unfortunately he was very late for work and couldn't but would drop by the check for his car insurance. I should have written the check in red if you get my drift. We then had a discussion about money and he left and I was still miserable. It is now going on 11am and I am waiting for Stan to call me back and I have to be at work for 7pm. I called work to get an hour sleep time and was graciously granted that request and I felt better knowing that I was going to get at least 5 hours of sleep. I went to to the bank to deposit a check(robbing Pete to pay Paul) in my jammies and took Demi the Dog with me. They gave her a dog biscuit at the bank window(how cute is that) and she snarfed it down. It hit me that in checking my bank account that I had forgotten that I had set up the insurance payment for autodraft which would mean if they sent my written check thru I would be paying double and then have a 35$ fee on top of it all. I couldn't run by the insurance office because of my jammies and I hadn't combed my hair. I called them. Joshua had been in but paid with his check instead of mine, bless him, so I called him back explained the situation and he went to retrieve his check. Stan called and said to go to bed that he would wait for his car. I gratefully took two sleeping pills(benadryl) and got Demi, the smartest dog in Louisiana, and went to bed. By this time it's about 1220pm and I am so tired I was stupid. Demi jumped off the bed and threw up in the corner. I got up because she throws up in threes and got a towel and followed her around and waited till she retched the aforementioned times. I cleaned everything up and wiped her mouth and we got back in bed( I love this dog) Within a minute she let out a small yip and was in a seizure. I didn't last long and she didn't lose control of her bladder or bowels but she was dazed and I was hysterical. I jumped up threw my scrubs on( have you ever noticed in a time of emergency that you can't find underwear?), got her down and ran to the car calling Stan, crying hysterically and took off to the vet's. On the way I called my boss and got a 4 hour reprieve for work. You got to love a small hospital where your dog's health is taken into consideration.... or maybe it was because I was crying hysterically...who knows. I get to the vet only to find out that she was out to lunch and did I want to leave Demi and pick her up at 5pm? I couldn't even imagine leaving her. I sat in the corner, in my scrubs(commando... couldn't find my drawers) with snot and tears dripping down my face and my hair sticking out every which way. Demi was sitting beside me snuffing in my ears at my distress and looking normal. I think the receptionist got tired of watching me wipe my eyes and nose with my arm and we got called back in less than 15 minutes. They drew blood, did a physical and told me she probably has epilepsy. They don't treat it unless she has lots of seizures. Way, way to cavalier of an answer so I will email the best vet in the South, Dr. K. McGuire of Texas and ask her. We went back to the car and home where I took 2 more benadryl because I was 'wired' and we settled back to bed. I slept till 9:30pm got up with the bed head. Bad hair days are nothing to sneeze about. I tried to get it in order, brushed my teeth, dressed in different scrubs(the commando ones are being washed), packed my lunch with Stan's help and was still teary eyed. I got in my car and I am driving down the highway when I notice that my wheel is pulling to the left. Bad. SHIT!!!!!!! I pull off at the gas station and of course I have a flat tire. It costs a DOLLAR to get air. Remember the cherry red bank account?? I was ass in the air crawling all over the car looking for spare change because it only takes QUARTERS. I went into the station and exchanged all my change(lots and lots of pennies) for quarters and filled my tire. I called Joshua and he came and exchanged cars with me and I was off to work. I am safely here now and nothing bad has happened so maybe the rain cloud that has been following me took a header to go lay on someone else for a time. So tonight I will say a prayer for Demi the Dog, my finances, the continued heath of my family, and a car prayer. I will thank God that all things that plagued me today were minor and that something good will come out of the mess that was this day.
I worked last night(Thursday)and went home with no particular sense of impending doom or that this was going to be one of those days. Stan was getting ready to go out of town and in fact had left only to return slightly later having forgotten something. He left again and I figured that I would do my check book. Should have never, ever done that. It is sometimes just better off not to know just how black(or red as in the banking sense) and deep a hole can be. While I was sitting there mulling over the fact that I should ask for a government handout like the big three auto makers are, Stan called and informed me that the car was acting up. He was on his way back to Lafayette and for me to call the dealer. I did so and woke Joshua to see if he could go get his dad. Unfortunately he was very late for work and couldn't but would drop by the check for his car insurance. I should have written the check in red if you get my drift. We then had a discussion about money and he left and I was still miserable. It is now going on 11am and I am waiting for Stan to call me back and I have to be at work for 7pm. I called work to get an hour sleep time and was graciously granted that request and I felt better knowing that I was going to get at least 5 hours of sleep. I went to to the bank to deposit a check(robbing Pete to pay Paul) in my jammies and took Demi the Dog with me. They gave her a dog biscuit at the bank window(how cute is that) and she snarfed it down. It hit me that in checking my bank account that I had forgotten that I had set up the insurance payment for autodraft which would mean if they sent my written check thru I would be paying double and then have a 35$ fee on top of it all. I couldn't run by the insurance office because of my jammies and I hadn't combed my hair. I called them. Joshua had been in but paid with his check instead of mine, bless him, so I called him back explained the situation and he went to retrieve his check. Stan called and said to go to bed that he would wait for his car. I gratefully took two sleeping pills(benadryl) and got Demi, the smartest dog in Louisiana, and went to bed. By this time it's about 1220pm and I am so tired I was stupid. Demi jumped off the bed and threw up in the corner. I got up because she throws up in threes and got a towel and followed her around and waited till she retched the aforementioned times. I cleaned everything up and wiped her mouth and we got back in bed( I love this dog) Within a minute she let out a small yip and was in a seizure. I didn't last long and she didn't lose control of her bladder or bowels but she was dazed and I was hysterical. I jumped up threw my scrubs on( have you ever noticed in a time of emergency that you can't find underwear?), got her down and ran to the car calling Stan, crying hysterically and took off to the vet's. On the way I called my boss and got a 4 hour reprieve for work. You got to love a small hospital where your dog's health is taken into consideration.... or maybe it was because I was crying hysterically...who knows. I get to the vet only to find out that she was out to lunch and did I want to leave Demi and pick her up at 5pm? I couldn't even imagine leaving her. I sat in the corner, in my scrubs(commando... couldn't find my drawers) with snot and tears dripping down my face and my hair sticking out every which way. Demi was sitting beside me snuffing in my ears at my distress and looking normal. I think the receptionist got tired of watching me wipe my eyes and nose with my arm and we got called back in less than 15 minutes. They drew blood, did a physical and told me she probably has epilepsy. They don't treat it unless she has lots of seizures. Way, way to cavalier of an answer so I will email the best vet in the South, Dr. K. McGuire of Texas and ask her. We went back to the car and home where I took 2 more benadryl because I was 'wired' and we settled back to bed. I slept till 9:30pm got up with the bed head. Bad hair days are nothing to sneeze about. I tried to get it in order, brushed my teeth, dressed in different scrubs(the commando ones are being washed), packed my lunch with Stan's help and was still teary eyed. I got in my car and I am driving down the highway when I notice that my wheel is pulling to the left. Bad. SHIT!!!!!!! I pull off at the gas station and of course I have a flat tire. It costs a DOLLAR to get air. Remember the cherry red bank account?? I was ass in the air crawling all over the car looking for spare change because it only takes QUARTERS. I went into the station and exchanged all my change(lots and lots of pennies) for quarters and filled my tire. I called Joshua and he came and exchanged cars with me and I was off to work. I am safely here now and nothing bad has happened so maybe the rain cloud that has been following me took a header to go lay on someone else for a time. So tonight I will say a prayer for Demi the Dog, my finances, the continued heath of my family, and a car prayer. I will thank God that all things that plagued me today were minor and that something good will come out of the mess that was this day.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Letters to My Family
Christmas has passed again although ours is to be held this weekend when everyone is home. We will do the Christmas Eve dinner on Saturday and the Christmas morning thing on Sunday. I was just a bit saddened because I was at work and I was not doing my regular Christmas "thing"... old habits die hard. So Christmas night on my way to the hospital I started thinking about my children and my husband and all the blessings that I do have. I want to share them.
Dear Stan
My heart was more than touched when I arrived home this morning after one of the worst nights I have had at work. I was teary eyed because it was Christmas and I was exhausted. I walked into the house and the tree was lit and the kitchen was cleaned up and the laundry done. You knew how much Christmas means to me and you lit up the house. Made me cry because it touched me that you knew the importance. Thank you for always being there for me. I am glad that you were home this morning. It made my heart smile. I love you.
Dear Josh,
I am watching you grow before my eyes. You are taking control of your life and doing a great job. It's hard for me to let go because that is my nature but know that I love you more each day and I am proud of all that you are doing. I have watched you struggle thru the years and it has awed me that you have taken that struggle and tunneled it into your passion. When you hurt, I hurt and it takes everything for me not to fix things that go wrong but it's your job as you have reminded me and you need to do the fixing. You are creative and intense, the dark and light that make you the wonderful man you are. I am blessed having you for a son. I love you.
Dear Becky,
You amaze me. This year was one filled with anguish and joy, from the death of your friend's father to your marriage. I watched as your emotions were pushed and tossed to see you finally rise above all and take control. That you are blessed with outside beauty is wonderful, but the beauty in your heart is what makes me proud. You do so remind me of Grandma Mercy in that you have her honesty and love of life. I am grateful that you listen to me and love me anyway and that your practical way of looking at things keeps me sane. I wish for you abundant joy and happiness this year because you so deserve that and more. You are my precious angel. I love you
Dear Shane,
I could not have picked a better man for my daughter than you. How wonderful it is that you are a part of our family. I am so grateful that you have a sense of humor and find joy in life. You love my daughter and make her laugh and that is a gift for any mom. I look forward to watching your own family develop and I am so glad to be part of that. I love you.
Okay well that's it. My letters to my family. I love you all and rejoice that each of you brings a piece to the family that is unique and makes us whole.
Merry Christmas.
Dear Stan
My heart was more than touched when I arrived home this morning after one of the worst nights I have had at work. I was teary eyed because it was Christmas and I was exhausted. I walked into the house and the tree was lit and the kitchen was cleaned up and the laundry done. You knew how much Christmas means to me and you lit up the house. Made me cry because it touched me that you knew the importance. Thank you for always being there for me. I am glad that you were home this morning. It made my heart smile. I love you.
Dear Josh,
I am watching you grow before my eyes. You are taking control of your life and doing a great job. It's hard for me to let go because that is my nature but know that I love you more each day and I am proud of all that you are doing. I have watched you struggle thru the years and it has awed me that you have taken that struggle and tunneled it into your passion. When you hurt, I hurt and it takes everything for me not to fix things that go wrong but it's your job as you have reminded me and you need to do the fixing. You are creative and intense, the dark and light that make you the wonderful man you are. I am blessed having you for a son. I love you.
Dear Becky,
You amaze me. This year was one filled with anguish and joy, from the death of your friend's father to your marriage. I watched as your emotions were pushed and tossed to see you finally rise above all and take control. That you are blessed with outside beauty is wonderful, but the beauty in your heart is what makes me proud. You do so remind me of Grandma Mercy in that you have her honesty and love of life. I am grateful that you listen to me and love me anyway and that your practical way of looking at things keeps me sane. I wish for you abundant joy and happiness this year because you so deserve that and more. You are my precious angel. I love you
Dear Shane,
I could not have picked a better man for my daughter than you. How wonderful it is that you are a part of our family. I am so grateful that you have a sense of humor and find joy in life. You love my daughter and make her laugh and that is a gift for any mom. I look forward to watching your own family develop and I am so glad to be part of that. I love you.
Okay well that's it. My letters to my family. I love you all and rejoice that each of you brings a piece to the family that is unique and makes us whole.
Merry Christmas.
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