Happy First Birthday Allison River Hart

One year ago August 1st my son and my daughter in law went on vacation and brought back Allison.  Allison is my first grandchild and was born about 6 weeks early, she was so very tiny I was afraid that she would break.  She is now an independent little princess who knows that she is adored by all and rules her subjects with a smile.  She looked so much like her pretty mama when she was little but now she is all her daddy.  Sydni jokingly calls her JJ for Joshua junior and she is a mini-me!  Her birthday was held at her granny B's and her guests dinned  on cotton candy, cupcakes, popcorn, slushy drinks, cookies and fruit.  Her great-great grandma was there as well as aunts, uncles, great aunts and uncles,  family friends and relatives.  Her papa Stan and I got her a rocking princess carriage and I think that I was more excited than she was.  So to my son and daughter-in-law my eternal thanks for the wonderful gift of Allison.  She gives me hope and reminds me what innocence is and how precious that is.  And to Allison:  Happy birthday precious girl and many many many more!

Demi The Wonderdog

Demi died last night after I left for work.  I stayed as long as I could with her because she rarely left my side when I needed her and I felt that I could do no less.  She was able to slowly walk and made her way into the guest bathroom to lay on the rug in there, I think to be away from us.  Stan and I were both crying and I wonder if that bothered her.  I knelt down with her and held her head in my hands and let her breathe my breath as I told her how much I loved her and how much I was going to miss her.  She was not focused on my face and I realized that she couldn't see.  She rested her head against my hands and relaxed.  Stan said that after I left that he couldn't leave her alone so he got a book and put the lid down on the toilet to sit with her and pet her so that she wouldn't go alone.  He said it wasn't long after that she had a seizure, relaxed and stopped breathing. He took her to the back yard and buried her near the Fig tree that he had planted.   I cannot express the grief that I am feeling over the loss of my sweet Demi-doo and wonder how I will sleep without her. 

Demi was my son's dog purchased for his birthday many years ago and came to live with us because he couldn't keep her where he was living.  I didn't put up much of a fight because I adored her.  He had trained her to hand commands and she was generally a very obedient dog.  He also trained her to sleep whenever he slept and so she fit in to my odd night hours.  Whenever I would come in after work in the morning she would eat, go out, then come in and race to the hall by my bedroom and wait for me.  All I had to say was "bed" and she would race into my room and hop up on her side of the bed and settle in.  When I would get in she would press her forehead against my cheek or neck and press as hard as she could while trying to lick me.  It was a ritual with her.  I am so going to miss that.  For all that she loved me she still loved Joshua more.  Stan would hear him drive up and tell her " your boy is here" and she would race to the door to greet him.  She love to ride in the car and both of us would take her to the store, the bank, or just to run errands.  She was the princess and we were her subjects.

While at work last night my mind kept coming back to the single question of why do we put ourselves thru this grief to own and love a pet that has a life expectancy of less than 12 years?  The only thing I can come up with is that a dog is love.  They are unconditionally your friend and protector for the cost of a dry bed and food.  They give us so very much for so very little.  I think that God put dogs on this earth and in the path of man to teach us humanity, devotion, loyalty, and unconditional love.  They are sort of like furry heavenly emissaries sent to fill the empty spots in our hearts that we did not even know needed filling. 

I  believe that when I die that Demi will  be there waiting for me along with a host of other dogs that I have loved and lost. She will be waiting across that Rainbow Bridge and when it is my time she will come racing across the field to greet me and show me the way to heaven.

Winston Charles Garrard May 13, 2013

I am a tad bit  slow in posting and I blame it on facebook.  Every time I burp it manages to make it's way to my FB update. It is a bigger effort to post a blog but actually more satisfying for me because I do love to write.  I will endeavor to post more and FB less.  I was 60 years old and did not have a grandchild to my name.  I am now 61 and before I am 62 will have 3 in my family.  Allison River was born August 1, 2012 and is such a sweet little baby.  She has a sunny disposition and is such a blessing.   Rebekah announced last October that she was pregnant when she took us all out for her birthday.  I was stunned.  She was nearly 3 months at that time.  She continued to work up until it was time for her to deliver.  She went a week over from her estimated due date of 5/7 and had Winston naturally at Lafayette General Medical Center.  He weighed 8 pounds and 11 ounces and was 20 inches long.  Benny and Frances Garrard, Stan and I, and Meagan Arceneaux kept a vigil with her until she got ready to deliver and then she wanted Shane to be the only one in attendance.  Well Shane and about 5 LGMC staff members and Dr. Bourque but still it was private.  He came out crying and as Frances and I stood outside the door it hit me that this little boy will be the continuation of the Garrard name.  He is a genetic compilation of some really great stuff from both sides of the family and I can't wait to see him grow.  So now for this blog a week after he was born he is doing well, nursing  "constantly" has pooped as needed, he is the apple of his parents eyes and likes the light on when he sleeps.  He lost 10 ozs after he left the hospital and on his first check he gained an ounce back.. Becky says that at this next check if he hasn't gained two pounds she will be surprised.  So welcome Winston to our family.  You are so very, very loved.

Happy 36th Joshua Edward Hart

I am just amazed that my "baby" boy has a baby.  I guess it is time I stop referring to  this wonderful man as my baby.  I posted several pictures of Allison on face book and one response was from Georgia Satterfield Shimkus.  Georgia commented that she bet that Joshua didn't remember her.  Probably not but I do and can tell so many stories that Georgia took part in.  She was his other mom when I lived in Pensacola and my favorite story will be told here in honor of Joshua's birthday. We took Joshua to a department store and he was running around like crazy.  He was fascinated by the mannequins and kept trying to talk to them.  He was about 2 and kept saying "yaydee, yaydee,  (lady)hellooooo   yaydee.  When he couldn't get the "yaydee's" attention he reached up  causing the "yaydee" to lose an arm and knocked over pieces ruining the display.  He then ran through all the  racks until finally a floor manager came up just as I caught up with him and had him in my arms.  Georgia and I were standing there and the man told us to get control of Josh or basically leave.  I thrust Joshua into Georgia's surprised arms and told her that she needed to get him under control and I walked away.  I can still see her face.  I laughed all the way out.  Oh Joshua you were my heart and joy as a child.  I was in amazement at every milestone.  You talked in sentences before you were one, you walked at 9months, you were full of hugs and kisses all day long.  You have grown into a complicated, dedicated man of who I am so very proud.  You have kept your loving heart and deep feelings.  I see you with Allison and know that you are such a wonderful father for her.  Who better to teach her about love than the man who as a child told me that he loved me more than all of the zebras, and grass, and stars in the world. A child who can love that MUCH  as a man can teach his daughter all about the vastness of love.   Every day in every way I love you so much and I am so proud of the man that you have become.  Happy happy birthday my dear son.  I love you more than all the stars in the sky!!!

Love, mama

Abortion and Dr. Gosnell

I have been preparing for my daughter's baby shower this April.  The preparations will be in another happier blog than this one I am writing.  I was shopping for ribbons for table decorations and was on my way home when I nearly got sick listening to the news while I was in my car.    I was thinking about how excited I am to meet my future grandson Winston when I keyed into a news report about an abortion doctor in Pennsylvania.  I was sick and found myself in tears as I was driving.  Dr. Kermit Gosnell an abortion doctor is on trial for murder in Pennsylvania. He performed early and late term abortions averaging 1000 a year. In Pennsylvania you can get an abortion up to 24 weeks.. and for you non medical peeps... a baby can survive at 24 weeks with our current medical capabilities( its not easy but it is possible). Dr. Gosnell services an inner city clinic and his staff performed illegal acts up to clipping the spinal cords of babies born.  One worker testified that the doctor commented on one delivery that the baby was "big enough to go out a catch a bus home".  I have written about my beliefs on abortion in earlier blogs and to repeat my stand is close to right to life but excluding when the mother's life is at risk.  I also believe that a woman who has been raped should take the pill offered in the ER to prevent conception.  That is my stand and does not include  when the "victim" at 6 months wants to terminate her pregnancy.  You don't want this baby then give it up.  I cannot wrap my mind around what this doctor has been allowed to do.  I also cannot understand how he had people willing to work with him.  He is a monster.  He is also black.  Why is that important.  His attorney has made it racial. Defense attorney Jack J. McMahon, described Dr. Gosnell as dedicated to treating the poor and accused prosecutors of racism — “a prosecutorial lynching” of his client,       

“It’s an elitist, racist prosecution,” Mr. McMahon said. “This black man is being taken because of who he is and where he works.”

 

So in answer to attorney McMahon: You moron.  You are an idiot to think that I give a crap what color this man's skin is in relation to the atrocities he has committed.  He is a monster and you are defending him.  I really hope that your dreams are haunted by the dead.  That should be your punishment for making this a racial issue and trying to steer the jury away from the fact that this man is a serial killer.  I don't care that he worked  in a poor neighborhood... bully for him.  We have free clinics here in Lafayette and we are not murdering babies.   In his "career" he has performed over 16 THOUSAND abortions.  He got more money for later term abortions because they take three days to do.  When he was interviewed by the FBI he had just finished up a case and was eating his dinner with his bloody latex gloves on and worse yet, the gloves had tears in them.  He also killed a patient because too much pain medication was administered for the patient weight.  The medication was given by an unqualified worker as well.  So this "saint" was taking care of the poor.. what a huge joke on the poor.  He was using out of date medication, unqualified personnel, and horrible hygiene.  The "poor" would have been better staying at home. 

 

I was talking with my sister about this and told her that not only am I angry at this so called doctor but I am equally angry at the women who would elect to terminate at a late date.  Their baby's heart is beating, his taste buds are formed he can feel pain.  So when you went through your 3 day procedure he was in pain and if he survived the ordeal as soon as he was born the staff stabbed him in the back of the neck to sever his spinal cord. You are equally as morally liable for murder as this doctor is legally.  I cannot find in my heart or mind any way to make your decision right. 

 

What have we become in this country that life has so little value, that our personal convenience has relevance over the life of a human.  God will judge us harshly for our callous hearts. 

 

The staff should do hard time for their participation in these horrors, they could have called the authorities and put a stop to all that happened.  Dr. Gosnell should be ABORTED... take that any way you want. 

Happy New Year 2013, Resolutions and Goals Oh My!

I went to bed last night thinking of what my resolutions would be this year.  It's tough being as how there are so many things that I need improving on.  Bear with me  as I go through the list.

1) Better bladder control:  This is a biggie.  As I have gotten older I have discovered just how important bladder control is.  I am not at the stage that when I laugh I have an "issue" but it is not far away.  During the night when I have to get up to pee I have to race to the toilet because for some reason my body is so relaxed that it is hard to make it on time.  I am fine laying flat but in the upright position gravity seems to be most powerful that time of night.  Likewise if I have left work (and I have emptied my bladder just before leaving mind you) the MINUTE I get home it's a race to the john.  My goal this year is to manipulate those pesky kegels at least 10 times a day and to invest in "Poise" products just in case my kegel muscles are so atrophied that it won't do any good. 

2) Be a goddess:  This is so happening.  I am so pumped about Medifast.  Many many thanks to my awesome nurse practitioner Aimee Guidry RN, ANP who convinced me that I have a healthy thin person inside of me.  This weight loss will create additional problems that I can foresee.  The weight loss is creating world class under-arm-dingle-dangles (or bat wings) that it will take about 15 grand for me to have surgically removed.  I could start to lift weights to take care of some of the problem but that seems like  a lot of trouble.  I am also concerned that men will be so awestruck at the new me that they will start to follow me and I will have to break hearts everywhere. What is a goddess to do? I will practice being demure, shy and averting my eyes as not to inspire lust.  I will also not wear mini-skirts and 5" heels and tube tops. 

3) Control my mouth:  This is a toughie given that I work in the ER and everyday in every way people come in who just make me want to roll my eyes and pop off with a sarcastic comment.  With the new health care initiative we cannot be sarcastic, we cannot roll our eyes, we cannot tell you just how stupid you are because if you aren't happy we don't get paid. So if you come strolling into the ER and you have a bevy of cats following you like they are following a shrimp fisherman I cannot suggest that you bathe for fear you will give me a bad report.  I am learning by the hardest and I am doing it.  It exhausts me.  I have been blessed by a good group of regular patients who depend on my honesty and do not get offended when I tell them what they need to do to get well.  It's the ones that BEG for  one-liners that just kill me.  I am practicing the teeth-gritted-together grin.  It serves a purpose of keeping my mouth shut and providing a socially acceptable facial expression that is non-committal.  They cannot control what I am saying to myself in my head so I have to be happy with that.  BTW you DO NOT have roaches in your liver.  YOU HAVE CIRRHOSIS.  It is a colonoscopy not a COLONOPOLIS.

4) Shave my legs:  Boy I just hate doing that.  It takes time and it irritates my skin on my legs.  I looked at my legs at work the other night and realized that the 1" hair just has to go.  It is time for my annual GYN exam anyway and I usually shave around that time so my doctor doesn't think he is doing a pelvic on a gorilla.  Also to meet goal 2 I will have to take better care of myself.  To meet this goal I will a) have to move to Europe where it is considered in vogue to have hairy legs or b) to suck it up and once a week run my lady Bic over the 50 remaining hairs that I have.

5) Stop the expletives:  I admit it, I have a mouth like a sailor and I don't want my grandchildren to start repeating what I say.  It is so hard coming up with something that carries the same "oomph" as "bite me you jackass".  My worse offending word is F***.  My mother would be rolling in her grave if she knew how many times a day I say that.   In keeping with goal 2 a goddess should never use that word. Gosh, shoot, goodness are all acceptable words.  I am going to have to wean myself and possibly wash my mouth out with soap.... can you imagine just how fucking awful that would be.

Okay that is it for the new year.  If you are a reader please leave me a comment at the end of this blog to let me know what resolutions that you are striving for because as they say misery loves company. 

Christmas at the Higginbotham's. Very Late Entry.

We had Christmas at our home after the holiday.  My children and my granddaughter Allison, Taunte Jill, Stan and I celebrated a gastronomical event that I spent 2 days making.  I had a blast. Christmas dinner is the only meal I really spend time cooking and I love the "sameness" of the menu.  I learned this year the the sweet potato casserole was back in vogue as it is now a pregnancy "super food" according to my daughter.  I sent almost the whole thing home with her.  The only hitch was that I over cooked the meat.  $170 of rib roast and I cooked it about 20 minutes to long.  Oh well.  If I was perfect I wouldn't be so very lovable. I decorated the table cleaned the crystal and we chowed down.  Afterwards we opened the stockings and the few presents that I had purchased.  I cannot stand a bare tree skirt.  Something has to be sitting on it and under the tree.  I took our family on a cruise again this year and that was their Christmas gift but I still had to have stocking stuffers and very few other little things.  I know that this year I wasn't as "into" it as I normally am.  Part of the problem is that we went on a cruise over Thanksgiving and that is my prime decorating time.  When I got home Jill and I put up the tree, got the lights on and put a few items around but I wasn't feeling the spirit.  I had to work the next few days and then I got sick and was down for the count for about 5 days.  I just didn't get up the energy to put everything out.  Next year will be different.  I will have two grand babies to enthrall with my decorations and things that move and sing.  I will start the middle of November and open all the boxes, put out all the nativity scenes, put batteries in all the animals that sing and it will look like a wonderland! This year Allison, carried by her great Taunte Jill was shown the few singing animals that I had out.  I have to say that she seemed fascinated and did not cry ( that is because she is very appreciative of all things Christmas) this bodes well for future years of visual delights!

I spent two weeks prior to our holiday baking cookies for gifts and attempting my mother's fudge recipe.  How hard can it be to combine 3 cups of sugar, 3/4 cups of Hershey's cocoa and milk.  You stir it till it boils,  then let it boil unattended for about 30 minutes .  All that is easy, the tough part is watching the temperature and getting it to the "soft ball" stage at about 234 degrees.  You let it sit and then after it cools you stir it till it loses it's gloss.  What ever that means.  All I know is that between one stir and the next you pass from fudge straight to cement. I wasted a lot of sugar to bring the memory of my mother's fudge to the table.  I expected my children to swoon in appreciation. Not so much.  They are into creamy fudge and I like the kind that has a grainy quality. 

It is important to me to continue with traditions.  I want Allison and future baby Garrard to be excited to come to grandma's house.  I will raise them  on their Great-grandma Ina's fudge and not let them get ruined by that creamy stuff.  I want to live long enough to pass things on to them that I hold dear to my heart.  I want my traditions to mingle with those that their parents will start so that they will hold the best of both inside their hearts.  I look forward to telling them about the baby that was born in a manger in Bethlehem.  I want them to grow knowing that Jesus is the reason that we celebrate the Christmas season. 

 To all of you from the Higginbothams, Harts, Garrards, and Forbes we wish you a very merry belated Christmas and a Happy New Year.