Saturday, September 20, 2014
Friday, September 19, 2014
Cruising Alaska, Butter, Bacon, Desserts and the Wetsuit.
Stan and I went to Alaska the first of September aboard the Norwegian Pearl out of Seattle. Knowing that I would probably put on a few pounds I diligently followed my diet and dropped about 10 pounds prior to departure. I don't like to fly, ever, but our trip on Alaskan Airways was pleasant even though it was about 4 hours long. When I travel I end up with the mother of all "cankles" and this time was no exception. I was downing Lasix like skittles so that I could fit into my shoes. We spent the night before departure in Seattle at the Doubletree otherwise known as the "cookie" hotel. When you check in they present you with 2 large chocolate chip cookies that are still warm. The damn things are about 400 calories each but as you know calories do not count on vacation. They are the best and worth every dollar that we had to spend to stay there. The next morning boarding the ship I had one moment that caused me concern and brought me front and center to the current events of the time. We were in back of a group of Muslims all carrying backpacks. It made me nervous and sad at the same time. 13 years ago I wouldn't have given them a thought. Then 9/11 happened. I obsessed about what they were carrying in their backpacks. I hate that about myself but I did manage to smile at the family in front and make true and appropriate noises about what beautiful children they had. They were lovely but I still remained untrusting.
I love cruising. I love the food, the people and the casino on board. I am just happy as I can be doing nothing but eating, drinking and playing the slots. I did not miss a meal. I ate often and well. I probably ate more in a week than I do in a month at home. I ate bacon every day. I convinced myself that I would need the fat to keep warm. I didn't miss a single dessert. I cannot explain it but cruise ship butter tastes so much better than what I have at home. I used a whole lot of butter on a whole lot of rolls. My name is Debbie and I KNOW that I have an eating disorder. I know better and have returned to my pre-cruise diet but boy did I have a wonderful gastronomical holiday!
Juneau was our first stop in our cruise and where we were going to the Mendenhall Glacier and Whale watch. I was the one that booked and paid for our tours so the fault is all mine that I didn't realize that this tour included a hike. The path was paved so it wasn't like hiking on stone and dirt but I really didn't realize that I would have to walk. I am a princess. I don't do hikes. I should, I know, then I wouldn't have to worry about all the butter I eat. I have issues not just the size of my butt. My knees are victims of holding up all my weight and give me trouble every once in a while. I held my own and other than some huffing and puffing did well. The glacier was beautiful, it was worth the hike. We then boarded a boat to look for whales. I had my trusty camera and came prepared to get some tail. Whale tail. I had a problem with making my fingers work at the right time. The whale would breach and I was in awe and just stood there, camera in hand, watching this wonder of nature when my brain would engage thinking "PICTURE" and I would take the pix. I have many many pictures of the tip of the whale tails only. Our boat broke down on the way back to shore and we had to be "rescued" by another tour. It was great fun.
We stopped at Skagway, Alaska next and took the White Pass train trip. We took a bus to Fraser, BC and boarded the train to travel 27 miles to Skagway, AK. Stan loved the trip as he is into trains and spent the whole time outside on the platform between the cars. I enjoyed it but spent long minutes with my eyes closed as we passed over narrow mountain passages. Afterwards we were bussed to a reconstruction of an old tent town called Liarsville and fed a meal of salmon and sides. They had a show afterwards. I spent time talking to the actors and I shopped. I found a wonderful knit cap shaped like a beaver head. I never knew that I wanted a beaver head hat, it must have been the altitude. Maybe it was the beer.
Since the time we booked our trip and were able to look at tours I have been over the moon about coming to Ketchikan, AK. I was going to snorkel, in a wetsuit, at Mountain Point outside of Ketchikan. The tour provided heated 7mm wetsuits. I have no experience in donning wetsuits but I have a ton of experience with a Spanx, Previously, writing about my daughters wedding I devoted 2 posts to that invention of Satan. It took a team of people to get me into my spanx and still have nightmares about the experience. I called ahead of time and discussed my concerns with a representative of the tour. I explained my problems getting into my Spanx and let him know that even though I was way below the weight limit I anticipated a struggle. He was very quiet during my explanation of the wedding travails. I did hear him snort once and I think he then pressed the mute button on. He finally laughed when I told him that I was okay to be amused that it would not hurt my feelings. He ASSURED me that someone would be able to help me. While getting in our suits we were separated by only curtains into open dressing rooms, men from women. I could not make grunting noises because everyone would hear. I literally could not get the damn thing on. I mean it. I pulled, tugged, struggled and then started to sweat. That made it worse. One of the other ladies on the tour and one of the guides had to squeeze me into what amounted to a body shaped Michelin tire. It was 7mm thick. Then you add the head thingy and the booties. Do any of you have any idea how hard it is to walk in that much rubber. My only consolation was that if I fell I would bounce. I was able to sit down. Sort of. I noticed that in my lap was what appeared to be a very large air bubble. I was fascinated with it and poked at it trying to make it go away. I realized that I could feel the sensation of my poking. The "air bubble" was in fact where the tops of my thighs and my stomach went when I put on my suit. I had an impressive "package" and had I been a guy, would have been strutting my stuff. We had to walk to the waters edge through a path of large rocks and I had great difficulty. The wetsuit made it nearly impossible for me to bend my knees so to get to the top of a rock I would have to throw my straight leg up and sideways. I really struggled to get into the water but once there it was magical. God dropped a hand full of beautiful in Mountain Point and I got to see it in all of its glory. I was toasty warm and even got rid of my gloves because I couldn't take pictures with them on. The upside of having my hands in the cold water was that the arthritis that bothers my hands took a holiday for a while. I did fall getting out of the water trying to get up on the shore and no I did not bounce but had a devil of a time getting back up. I kind of did a push up and walked my way backwards because I couldn't bend my legs. I gave the group a very large tip.
The next day our boat sailed around glacier bay and I was in awe seeing things that I have only seen in pictures. It was simply beautiful. The next day we spent several hours in Victoria, BC. We took a private tour with a cab driver and had a blast. He took us everywhere and was very knowledgeable about his city and it's history.
On our return we again stayed at the Doubletree and got the cookies. We took the train and went to downtown Seattle and wandered around the market for several hours before returning for the night.
I was glad to get home and we are planning on a return trip with friends. I imagine that I will forgo the snorkeling next time. I will be posting pictures in the next day or two so check back and let me share my experience with you.
I love cruising. I love the food, the people and the casino on board. I am just happy as I can be doing nothing but eating, drinking and playing the slots. I did not miss a meal. I ate often and well. I probably ate more in a week than I do in a month at home. I ate bacon every day. I convinced myself that I would need the fat to keep warm. I didn't miss a single dessert. I cannot explain it but cruise ship butter tastes so much better than what I have at home. I used a whole lot of butter on a whole lot of rolls. My name is Debbie and I KNOW that I have an eating disorder. I know better and have returned to my pre-cruise diet but boy did I have a wonderful gastronomical holiday!
Juneau was our first stop in our cruise and where we were going to the Mendenhall Glacier and Whale watch. I was the one that booked and paid for our tours so the fault is all mine that I didn't realize that this tour included a hike. The path was paved so it wasn't like hiking on stone and dirt but I really didn't realize that I would have to walk. I am a princess. I don't do hikes. I should, I know, then I wouldn't have to worry about all the butter I eat. I have issues not just the size of my butt. My knees are victims of holding up all my weight and give me trouble every once in a while. I held my own and other than some huffing and puffing did well. The glacier was beautiful, it was worth the hike. We then boarded a boat to look for whales. I had my trusty camera and came prepared to get some tail. Whale tail. I had a problem with making my fingers work at the right time. The whale would breach and I was in awe and just stood there, camera in hand, watching this wonder of nature when my brain would engage thinking "PICTURE" and I would take the pix. I have many many pictures of the tip of the whale tails only. Our boat broke down on the way back to shore and we had to be "rescued" by another tour. It was great fun.
We stopped at Skagway, Alaska next and took the White Pass train trip. We took a bus to Fraser, BC and boarded the train to travel 27 miles to Skagway, AK. Stan loved the trip as he is into trains and spent the whole time outside on the platform between the cars. I enjoyed it but spent long minutes with my eyes closed as we passed over narrow mountain passages. Afterwards we were bussed to a reconstruction of an old tent town called Liarsville and fed a meal of salmon and sides. They had a show afterwards. I spent time talking to the actors and I shopped. I found a wonderful knit cap shaped like a beaver head. I never knew that I wanted a beaver head hat, it must have been the altitude. Maybe it was the beer.
Since the time we booked our trip and were able to look at tours I have been over the moon about coming to Ketchikan, AK. I was going to snorkel, in a wetsuit, at Mountain Point outside of Ketchikan. The tour provided heated 7mm wetsuits. I have no experience in donning wetsuits but I have a ton of experience with a Spanx, Previously, writing about my daughters wedding I devoted 2 posts to that invention of Satan. It took a team of people to get me into my spanx and still have nightmares about the experience. I called ahead of time and discussed my concerns with a representative of the tour. I explained my problems getting into my Spanx and let him know that even though I was way below the weight limit I anticipated a struggle. He was very quiet during my explanation of the wedding travails. I did hear him snort once and I think he then pressed the mute button on. He finally laughed when I told him that I was okay to be amused that it would not hurt my feelings. He ASSURED me that someone would be able to help me. While getting in our suits we were separated by only curtains into open dressing rooms, men from women. I could not make grunting noises because everyone would hear. I literally could not get the damn thing on. I mean it. I pulled, tugged, struggled and then started to sweat. That made it worse. One of the other ladies on the tour and one of the guides had to squeeze me into what amounted to a body shaped Michelin tire. It was 7mm thick. Then you add the head thingy and the booties. Do any of you have any idea how hard it is to walk in that much rubber. My only consolation was that if I fell I would bounce. I was able to sit down. Sort of. I noticed that in my lap was what appeared to be a very large air bubble. I was fascinated with it and poked at it trying to make it go away. I realized that I could feel the sensation of my poking. The "air bubble" was in fact where the tops of my thighs and my stomach went when I put on my suit. I had an impressive "package" and had I been a guy, would have been strutting my stuff. We had to walk to the waters edge through a path of large rocks and I had great difficulty. The wetsuit made it nearly impossible for me to bend my knees so to get to the top of a rock I would have to throw my straight leg up and sideways. I really struggled to get into the water but once there it was magical. God dropped a hand full of beautiful in Mountain Point and I got to see it in all of its glory. I was toasty warm and even got rid of my gloves because I couldn't take pictures with them on. The upside of having my hands in the cold water was that the arthritis that bothers my hands took a holiday for a while. I did fall getting out of the water trying to get up on the shore and no I did not bounce but had a devil of a time getting back up. I kind of did a push up and walked my way backwards because I couldn't bend my legs. I gave the group a very large tip.
The next day our boat sailed around glacier bay and I was in awe seeing things that I have only seen in pictures. It was simply beautiful. The next day we spent several hours in Victoria, BC. We took a private tour with a cab driver and had a blast. He took us everywhere and was very knowledgeable about his city and it's history.
On our return we again stayed at the Doubletree and got the cookies. We took the train and went to downtown Seattle and wandered around the market for several hours before returning for the night.
I was glad to get home and we are planning on a return trip with friends. I imagine that I will forgo the snorkeling next time. I will be posting pictures in the next day or two so check back and let me share my experience with you.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
September 10, 2014 Event Family Dinner
We got together on Wednesday for a "family" dinner. We do this every once in a while and it really is fun. Stan and I just got back from our Alaskan cruise and were anxious to see everyone. Joshua and Syd came with Allison and Aries and this was likely the last time we will see Joshua for a few months as he is working with an oil field company in Ohio. Benny and Frances Garrard rounded out the nuclear part of Shane and Becky's family. We were missing Jess and her two but she lives in Arizona. At some point Rebekah left the room with Winston and when they returned he had on a different onsie. I will sometimes see something cute and will buy for the grands so I honestly thought this was something I had purchased. I asked Frances what it said and she responded that she couldn't tell because he was too busy playing. I picked him up and read: Oops they did it again I am going to be a big brother. I got halfway thru and stopped thinking that I was telling something that I shouldn't and Becky said to finish it. I was teary eyed as was Stan but not really surprised because they had been trying. Congratulations abounded as was joking recriminations about fibbing. Apparently Frances had commented a few days before asking Beck if she was pregnant. Becky responded "Are you telling me I am FAT?". There is one thing I have learned in 40 years of nursing and that is unless you SEE the baby coming out NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant. Frances attempted to recover stating no you have spots on your face. I had to laugh when they told me this conversation. I don't know which is worse: you're fat or you have acne. I could sit on the side and greatly sympathize with Frances while inwardly fanning my face grateful I had not said anything. Then to make matters worse during that conversation Benny threw Frances under the bus stating that he didn't think Becky looked fat or pregnant that that was all on Frances! They had their first ultrasound and had the picture put on a cake. Then they got out the second cake and Frances commented that there were two pictures. Shane stated something to the affect that one cake was for the baby on the left and the other was for the baby on the right. I was having trouble processing that statement until I was oriented by Frances stating YOU'RE HAVING TWINS??????. I was dumbfounded realizing that morning when I came over to take care of Winston I told her that she should have twins when she got pregnant. Talk about a prophetic comment. She is due around April 12 or so. I just realized that for a person who 3 years ago did not have a grandchild that I am doing well!!! For a period of 4 to 5 months Stan and I will have 5 grandchildren under the age of three. I indeed am blessed.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
September 11, 2014
I will never forget. Simple words, big promise. I usually do not work on this day because I spend my time in front of the TV watching the events of that fateful day. This year my schedule got ahead of me and I did not ask off so I have watched in moderation but still spent my time reflecting on those devastating events of that September. I didn't cry as much as I usually do although the pictures of those poor people jumping to their death still makes me cry out. What did bring tears to my eyes was the interview with Patricia Smith, Sean Smith's mom. He was one of the ones killed in Benghazi during a 9/11 terror attack that our government lied about from the beginning. She was able to talk to the three security officers who attempted to save her son. She looked at them and stated that they were the sons that she no longer had. My heart ached. Hillary and Barrack have the blood of the Benghazi 4 on their hands and I hope nightmares haunt their every sleeping moment. We cannot forget or let our children forget what happened when America was attacked. We must be diligent to protect our future and those of our children. The America I am giving to my grandchildren today is a pale imitation of that which my mom gave to me. We have so much to answer for and so much to correct. I still believe in the America that my mom gave to me. She is there hiding in our hearts and I believe will be strong again. Never forget. God Bless America
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Americans Stand Up for Your Country
I have not posted since May and have not posted anything relating to current events in a long time. Every day I listen to the news and get the itch to blog my personal opinion of what is occurring in my beloved country. I then fall into a psychological black hole with the thought of what difference does my opinion make. Nothing will change, I will still wake up in the morning and my country will still be a mess and getting worse each day. Tonight I realized that I blog for my children and my grandchildren. I want Winston, Aries, and Allison and whoever else is in my daughter's future to know what I stood for and what I felt was happening to my country. I am glad that others read my blog and even offer opposing views. That is what I love about my country, we don't have to think alike and we should respect each others views. I belong to a private face book group that is open to any political view with the only rule being that you cannot get ugly with each other. I have orally invited progressive/liberal friends and received comments like "I would never get involved with people who only listen to Fox news" or " really a group of uneducated rednecks... just what I want to belong to" or how about "sounds like a group of racists". I really wasn't surprised. To coin a old phrase: Our country is going to hell in a hand basket and adding the addition that it is Obama and his administration that is carrying that hand basket down the merry trail that will lead to the destruction of our United States. Honest to God if I hear one more time that it is Bush's fault I am going to puke. Bush had his faults but this administration is plagued with scandals and until recently was largely ignored by the mainstream media. I will say it again. I watch all news channels but if I really want to know what is happening I go to Fox and THEN start looking for supporting data. When I have confirmed the news then I watch with amusement as the mainstream Obamamaniacs ignore what is happening. I have said this in face book posting that if this current administration was Republican and if the same scandals existed as they are the progressive left would be screaming, rioting and demanding impeachment and the news media would climbing up the butt of the Republican POTUS. So I ask you liberal progressives would you accept being targeting by the IRS, would you quietly accept a POTUS who goes on a fund raising trip while the mid east is exploding and our borders are leaking like a sieve. I am sure that you would scream about a Republican POTUS who was the guest of honor at a fundraising dinner that cost upwards 30 thousand per couple to attend while less than 500 miles away we have thousands of illegal aliens, mostly children, in detention centers in horrible conditions. You would loudly state that fundraising money should be sent to assist those in need. Would you have accepted the decision to hand over 5 dangerous terrorists for a man who at best is a deserter, more probably a traitor. Think about it. You are hypocrites, you really are. .
The world is exploding. Our friend in the east, Israel, is engaged in a battle for survival. Let me correct that previous sentence. Israel was our friend in administrations past. This president leaves much doubt about what kind of friend he is to Israeli PrimeMinister Benjamin Netanyahu. In a recent OP ED in Haaretz an Israeli news source he condemned the violence against the innocent teens both Israeli and Palestinian. He praised Palestine president Mahmoud Abbas(Abu Mazen) and did not mention Netanyahu. For those who do not know: Abbas has a pact with Hamas, a US designated terrorist group that is tied to Iran. Hamas controls the Gaza Strip. Obama did say that Israel has a right to defend themselves. But instead of monitoring the escalating situation, offering military support or at least sending John Kerry(snort) he is at fund raising dinner
Also in that neck of the woods ISIS ( Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) is marching thru the mid east killing Shia Muslims. Understand that the Sunni Muslims and Shia Muslims have been at war with each other for centuries so this is nothing new but ISIS hates the West( that would be us) and vows to destroy everything that we stand for. Oh and on a disturbing note they now have all kinds of weapons including chemical and biological weapons. Obama is really worried about this. He is at a fund raising dinner in Texas.
Here in America we have continued threats about gun control with the left screaming every time some idiot, and I mean that literally, takes his guns and shoots up a school, movie theater, etc. I am heartbroken at the loss of innocent life but NOT ENOUGHT to give up my right to bear arms. What I find strange is that over the 4th of July weekend Chicago was subjected to 84 shootings that left 68 wounded and 14 dead. Mayor Ralm Emanuel is enforcing strict gun laws but it doesn't seem to make a difference. What is being blamed is lack of police coverage, poverty, lack of jobs and universally lax gun laws. So if we take all the guns away from the average citizen then they will be safe from the criminals. Hummm, not sure that is going to work Ralm you need to call Barrack about the economy...he owns it now, its been 6 years and he cannot blame Bush anymore.
EPA now has the right that if you have a violation against one of their rules that they can garnish your wages without a court order. You can fight it but it will be at your expense. The EPA gets to pick the place for the court fight and the judge and you have to pay. So the EPA holds all the cards. It really is more extensive than that but if I go into it now I will never sleep.
On a final note for this blog, people are saying that the current immigration mess at the border is going to be his "Katrina". You progressive/liberals remember the screaming that commenced when Bush did a flyby to look over the damage that was left in the wake of Katrina. All because he didn't stop. They are saying that if Obama does not go down to look at the detention centers that this will be his Katrina. Huge difference here: Katrina was a natural disaster and if I recall correctly the decision was made for Bush to be able to see the area but not be subjected to the unsafe situation. The current "humanitarian crisis" is a disaster but one that was caused by his failed policies and lack of leadership. But if you heard his speech tonight it of course is not his fault. The fault lies with Congress. Poor Barrack. He stated that he did not want to go down for a photo op. What he really means is that he is trying very hard to distance himself from the issue and if he goes he cannot ignore what is happening. We have been "blessed" with a president who has diminished us as a country, he cannot lead, he has no real policy, he has made enemies out of friends. He has allowed criminal behavior to go unpunished in his administration. I have an African-American friend who brightened my day about a week ago. She told me "I should have never voted for that SOB". We have another 2 years. God help us all.
.
The world is exploding. Our friend in the east, Israel, is engaged in a battle for survival. Let me correct that previous sentence. Israel was our friend in administrations past. This president leaves much doubt about what kind of friend he is to Israeli Prime
Also in that neck of the woods ISIS ( Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) is marching thru the mid east killing Shia Muslims. Understand that the Sunni Muslims and Shia Muslims have been at war with each other for centuries so this is nothing new but ISIS hates the West( that would be us) and vows to destroy everything that we stand for. Oh and on a disturbing note they now have all kinds of weapons including chemical and biological weapons. Obama is really worried about this. He is at a fund raising dinner in Texas.
Here in America we have continued threats about gun control with the left screaming every time some idiot, and I mean that literally, takes his guns and shoots up a school, movie theater, etc. I am heartbroken at the loss of innocent life but NOT ENOUGHT to give up my right to bear arms. What I find strange is that over the 4th of July weekend Chicago was subjected to 84 shootings that left 68 wounded and 14 dead. Mayor Ralm Emanuel is enforcing strict gun laws but it doesn't seem to make a difference. What is being blamed is lack of police coverage, poverty, lack of jobs and universally lax gun laws. So if we take all the guns away from the average citizen then they will be safe from the criminals. Hummm, not sure that is going to work Ralm you need to call Barrack about the economy...he owns it now, its been 6 years and he cannot blame Bush anymore.
EPA now has the right that if you have a violation against one of their rules that they can garnish your wages without a court order. You can fight it but it will be at your expense. The EPA gets to pick the place for the court fight and the judge and you have to pay. So the EPA holds all the cards. It really is more extensive than that but if I go into it now I will never sleep.
On a final note for this blog, people are saying that the current immigration mess at the border is going to be his "Katrina". You progressive/liberals remember the screaming that commenced when Bush did a flyby to look over the damage that was left in the wake of Katrina. All because he didn't stop. They are saying that if Obama does not go down to look at the detention centers that this will be his Katrina. Huge difference here: Katrina was a natural disaster and if I recall correctly the decision was made for Bush to be able to see the area but not be subjected to the unsafe situation. The current "humanitarian crisis" is a disaster but one that was caused by his failed policies and lack of leadership. But if you heard his speech tonight it of course is not his fault. The fault lies with Congress. Poor Barrack. He stated that he did not want to go down for a photo op. What he really means is that he is trying very hard to distance himself from the issue and if he goes he cannot ignore what is happening. We have been "blessed" with a president who has diminished us as a country, he cannot lead, he has no real policy, he has made enemies out of friends. He has allowed criminal behavior to go unpunished in his administration. I have an African-American friend who brightened my day about a week ago. She told me "I should have never voted for that SOB". We have another 2 years. God help us all.
.
Saturday, May 10, 2014
When Can You First Celebrate Mother's Day
Rebekah has had an issue with last year's Mothers Day and I completely missed the boat on that one. She missed the actual day giving birth to Winston by about 18 hours and feels just a little cheated. Especially when we told her it didn't count until the baby was OUT. When we were discussing it this year and I realized how she felt it made me feel just a tad guilty that I was so quick to tell her that this year would be her first Mother's Day.
Last year's Mother's Day my daughter was sitting at home feeling pretty miserable. But while sitting there she was nurturing, protecting and feeding her son Winston. Granted she wasn't "holding" him in her arms instead he was nestled under her heart waiting for just the right time to make his entrance. So my darling Rebekah, accept my apology, because you were so very right. This is your second Mother's Day!
Last year's Mother's Day my daughter was sitting at home feeling pretty miserable. But while sitting there she was nurturing, protecting and feeding her son Winston. Granted she wasn't "holding" him in her arms instead he was nestled under her heart waiting for just the right time to make his entrance. So my darling Rebekah, accept my apology, because you were so very right. This is your second Mother's Day!
Friday, May 9, 2014
Mother's Day.... Missing Ina Lee
I have so many mixed feelings on Mother's Day. I love the fact that I am a mother but miss my mom so much it makes my heart hurt. If I could have one wish it would be that my mother could come back for a day to meet Rebekah and Joshua's children. She would just love Winston, Allison, and Aries. I would want part of that day to tell her how much I love her and how the things that she taught me and believed are ingrained on my heart. I just want an hour or two just to touch her and hold her. She was a Christian. She read her bible daily and believed in her salvation. She prayed daily for her family and I know that she shed tears for all of us at one time or another when we struggled with our own faith.
I was a latchkey kid during a time that most mothers stayed at home. She was divorced and had to work to keep a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. We would have qualified for any number of modern day government programs. We would have had food stamps, and medicaid at a minimum. But my mother was a very proud and independent and would have viewed any assistance as charity and would have refused to accept the help. We survived. We had food. We had heat in the winter and a warm home. She worked hard at two jobs but she did what she needed to do. I knew that I was loved. She taught me by example that hard work was honorable and that to provide for your family was a joy. Mom was my rock and she loved me unconditionally. Nearly every day something will happen and I will think "I need to call mom, she would love this", That it catches me off guard, after all this time, amazes me. She died on Mother's Day in 2002 and I still have moments that think she is a phone call away. I frequently dream when I sleep and on occasion have dreamed of my mom and I sitting having a conversation. Usually I am going over a painful struggle with which I am presently dealing and she is sitting there listening with such intentness on her face and she gives me advice. I have often woken up in tears but also feeling that I have been given a gift, created by my imagination, fed by years of knowing her beliefs and I have the answer that I am seeking.
I miss you mom. I love you. This year. Every year.
I was a latchkey kid during a time that most mothers stayed at home. She was divorced and had to work to keep a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. We would have qualified for any number of modern day government programs. We would have had food stamps, and medicaid at a minimum. But my mother was a very proud and independent and would have viewed any assistance as charity and would have refused to accept the help. We survived. We had food. We had heat in the winter and a warm home. She worked hard at two jobs but she did what she needed to do. I knew that I was loved. She taught me by example that hard work was honorable and that to provide for your family was a joy. Mom was my rock and she loved me unconditionally. Nearly every day something will happen and I will think "I need to call mom, she would love this", That it catches me off guard, after all this time, amazes me. She died on Mother's Day in 2002 and I still have moments that think she is a phone call away. I frequently dream when I sleep and on occasion have dreamed of my mom and I sitting having a conversation. Usually I am going over a painful struggle with which I am presently dealing and she is sitting there listening with such intentness on her face and she gives me advice. I have often woken up in tears but also feeling that I have been given a gift, created by my imagination, fed by years of knowing her beliefs and I have the answer that I am seeking.
I miss you mom. I love you. This year. Every year.
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