Thursday, December 31, 2009

Our Most Excellent Cruise Adventure

It was decided that instead of me spending a fortune that I don't have on gifts for Christmas that Stan and I would spend a fortune and pay for cruise tickets for our kids. We ended up with a family affair and besides Stan and me we had Josh and Syd, Becky and Shane, my sisters Patti and Barbara, my niece Mindy and my friend Jill. We had a blast. We took NCL out of New Orleans on a 7 day trip thru the western Caribbean leaving on my birthday. All I can say is the food is great, the staff was wonderful, the entertainment the best and BRING MONEY. We are not big drinkers(not evidenced by the pictures in the blog below this one) You have to pay for all alcohol, and colas but the coffee and tea and water are free. You had an option of dining in the 'free' dining room and other free areas or eating in one of the speciality restaurants for a very reasonable cost. The first night we ate at Cagney's Steak House and had a surf and turf for my birthday. Everyday the staff all over the boat went out of their way to make us feel special. The cruise was not without mishaps however: on day two while I was walking by the pool I rammed my right pinkie toe(the one where the piggy goes wee wee wee all the way home) into a chaise lounger and broke/dislocated the damn thing. I had to pull it back in place. I am a weenie when it comes to pain and this hurt bad enough I had to cancel my day 3 trip to the Mayan ruins. The ship doctor looked at it and said to just avoid putting any stress on it so I chose to stay behind and concentrate walking from meal to meal and to the pool. Interesting enough the night that I hurt my toe they had a martini tasting party. I lost all feeling to my face by the second martini and didn't know I even had a toe by number 5. Needless to say I missed dinner that night because I was face down in bed with a limited memory of how I got there. The best excursion for me was playing with the dolphins and getting to get up close with a manatee. I was just in awe of the whole experience. We capped off that day with cocktails at Carlos and Charlies in Cozumel. Oh my goodness. All I can say is look at the pictures in the blog below. We got balloon hats, sombreros and danced in a conga line. It all seemed very normal to me. I think I was out in the sun too long. I can't begin to tell you how much fun it was to be with all my family. I loved the fact that my children were enjoying themselves and that Stan and I got to have a great vacation. I loved being able to get up at 3 am and go to the ship library and sit in the quiet and read. I loved being able to order won-ton soup and BBQ wings at 4am when I got the urge to snack. I loved being outside in the warm breezes with a cup of coffee in my hand watching the sun come up. I gained a little weight on the trip and discovered that I wasn't nearly the biggest woman at the pool. I am in awe that they make two piece bathing suits for 400lb+ women. I am in equal awe of the guts it takes to wear said bathing suit with an attitude that fairly screams "I am so hot". I kept to my one piece and I made an effort to sunbathe with larger women. It made me look good.... how shallow is that?!? It was just simply a wonderful trip with wonderful people. We are now planning next years trip.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas 2009

My Christmas traditions were changed in a big way this year and it has taken me out of my comfort zone. The biggest change was the no presents under the tree in favor of a cruise. In the following days I will post a blog concerning the cruise and all the pictures I can cram on the page. Until last night I had no decorations up. This is huge considering I am the person who puts up two trees and has 28 large boxes of decorations for the inside and outside of my home. I have not wrapped the first present... for there are none to wrap. The Cruise was the gift I gave to my family. I didn't realize how depressed I was until Joshua(who has been cleaning my house as his gift to me!!) made me get a few things down. Thank God. We put up a few items and my mood lifted. I really didn't realize how important all my little traditions were to me. Maybe only to me at this time. When we are blessed with grand kids I imagine that my traditions will resurface and make memories for a new generation. I know that for me the birth of our Lord Jesus is foremost on my mind during this time of the year and the decorations are the icing on the cake of the single most important event in the history of the world. I remained focused the past few weeks on celebrating the birth that changed the world and realized that no decoration, no present, no party could ever match the gift that God gave the world. I sat alone last night with my tree lights on and watched the movie "The Nativity" twice, back to back, on TV. The first time was wonderful. The second brought my tears. I was so moved by the awesomeness of the birth, the acceptance of Mary and Joseph to allow God to use them with total trust. I cannot explain how wonderful I felt and how CLEAN I felt within my spirit. Praise God for his wondrous gift to us. This Christmas as you are enjoying time with your family take time out to reflect on the reason that we celebrate, the gift of the Child from a merciful God. I will miss my traditions and miss my multiple decorations but I am so very blessed by the journey of a simple man and woman into the town of Bethlehem. In the stable surrounded by animals Mary gave birth to the King of Kings. This event, this one thing, changed my life and that of millions. May God bless you this season and give you peace. Hallelujah Jesus is born.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


I have had it with ALL the news channels including my very very favorite Fox. I don't want to hear another thing about Tiger Woods or his problems. Let the man alone and deal with his family privately. We have no business with our noses in his affairs... maybe that was a poor choice of words. My feeling is that Tiger is an athlete, he doesn't make foreign policy. You understand what I am trying to say? I have a vested interest in who is getting boinked in the White House or what transgressions are committed by those idiots who represent us. I pay them. I vote for them. I expect them to behave a certain way and if they don't then they need to tell me why. Tiger is a golfer. He makes a lot of money. Good for him. His lack of self control doesn't raise my taxes or cause me any hardship. I don't know why he chose to wander around like a tom cat and further more I just don't care. If I played golf... which thank God I have the good sense not to do....I don't think the fact that he was indiscreet, got into a fight with his wife, and had an accident, would affect my game one way or the other.

Some advice Tiger if I so may offer:
You don't like what you have at home??? Learn to like her. You liked her well enough at least twice that I can see. Something else, you are incredibly stupid for such a successful young man. You really think some bimbo who is willing to sleep with you, knowing that you are married, doesn't really have dollar signs in her eyes? It's not that you aren't just the cutest thing because you are and you know it....But really, she and whoever else you wandered with had two things in mind. 1) maybe he will marry me and then I can get all the attention and money and 2) if he doesn't marry me then I can sell my dozens of text messages to the highest bidder. You walked into that with your eyes open and that is just plain stupid. And Lord Almighty.... the phone message asking the bimbo to change her message because your wife was checking out your phone. You should have just 'fessed up and told your wife what was going on and then took your punishment like a man.

To the women in his life(except his wife)
You are money grubbing, pond scum sucking bottom feeders. You knew he was married and you took the ride anyway. Down in the south here we have a cute little name for opportunistic women like you... sluts... bless your little hearts.

To his wife.
Elin, I don't want to know what your problems are but if you love him then get into counseling. People do stupid things all the time and deserve to be forgiven. It will take time but if the love is there then you both can make it work. If he does it again let me offer some advice: Years ago a woman presented into the ER accompanying her husband who was on an ambulance stretcher. She was whacking him about the arms and head, much to the amusement of the paramedics. The whole way in she was yelling at him to "tell the people, go on you !#$%&*!+, tell the people just what you did to me." He was a rutting dog and she had had her fill. She got him loaded one night and while he snored in his alcohol induced sleep she glued his man parts together. Specifically she took superglue and stretched his penis up as far as it would go and glued it to his stomach. She glued each of his testicles to each other and to the sides of his legs. When she did this his legs were drawn up in the fetal position so that it would be painful if he tried to straighten his legs out. Then she slapped the living shit out of him to wake him up. I don't know who called the ambulance but isn't that the most precious little story!!!