25 Years. I Will Never Forget

It has been 25 years, and I can still remember who called me and woke me up and what I had on.   I can still feel the total devastation I felt as I watched live TV of the worst event that had happened in my lifetime.  I can still remember my scream as I watched the first tower collapse.  I cried ugly tears watching the people jumping from the burning buildings.   To this day I cry when I see pictures of that day.  I know that my parents and grandparents felt this same way December 7, 1941.  I know that they mourned each December 7th afterwards.   The only difference was that they did not see the Pearl Harbor attack in real time.  That horrific time and our generations terror attack brought about an unprecedented rise in patriotism with the country being unified against a singular enemy.  There were only 19 men who identified as Muslim and associated with al-Qaeda that nearly brought our country to its knees.  We rebounded and for a time we all loved our country.  Currently we have moved so far to the left that I have trouble having hope for America.   We have elected 255 Muslim officials across 26 states. This would have been unheard of 15 years ago.   We cannot question someone about their religious beliefs, nor would they be honest if they are radicalized. I honestly believe that mainstream Muslim are decent individuals who have basic core beliefs of most Americans and want to live, work and worship in peace.    As Americans we have a responsibility to monitor ALL elected officials, not just the Muslim ones.  We have a responsibility to monitor those we elect to ensure that they are doing what they promised to do.  We have a responsibility to make sure that they are morally and ethically sound.  If they are not, then next election cycle we need to fire them and get someone else.  We need to be aware of the laws that our representatives want passed and what the long-term effects are going to be.  We cannot afford to assume that they know what is best for us.  We HAVE to be proactive.  

I am a Christian and as such, believe in the Bible. I recognize that we are in the end times foretold by the Old Testament prophets into what is written in the New Testament thru Revelation.  I believe that we are on a steady trajectory that will (hopefully) have my generation see the coming of our Lord. I know, however, that many more horrific events will occur before the time of His coming.  I know that we have to stay steadfast in the word and reveal and rebuke evil in all forms.  As the time grows short Christians will be laughed at, ridiculed, and possibly even killed for our beliefs.  That has been foretold in the Bible. We are mandated to forgive and show love.  We are not to except evil actions that go against that ideal.   We are in perilous times that test us each day.  We must stay grounded in the Word and continue to pray for ourselves and others to remain strong.  

On this 25th anniversary of   9/11 I will remember and reflect on that time and continue to pray for the affected families of those murdered.  I will pray that God will keep me alert to the times in order to be vigilant against the slow creeping acceptance of evil actions.  I will pray that God will give me courage to speak out against evil and give me the right words to impact others in a positive manner.  

In closing I will only say.   " Even so, come Lord Jesus"  Rev 22:20

My 49th Mother's Day

 

It's my 49th Mother's Day and I have given a lot of thought as to what a milestone that seems to be.  I have two children that are my heart and soul.  God granted me these two as my special gifts.  I am forever grateful for them.  God does not make mistakes.  Was it easy to be their mom?? No.  Did we have problems? Yes.  If I could have a "do over" would I take it?  No.  What I have today is not perfect, it can be heartbreaking, confusing, frustrating, joyful, and glorious.  I still shed tears over both of my children.  I have gone to God more times than I can count to pray for each of them to be safe, happy and for their problems to be small.  I have had to learn and actually am still learning that they need to handle their own problems and that I can't fix everything.  Becky will call to ask if I am available on such and such day.. and I realize that I am working.  My mind is on immediate overdrive how I can change things around to help.  She reminds me that she is able to handle the situation.  I think it's partially the joy of being able to meet a need and the joy of being around the best grandchildren that makes me want to change everything to help.  My daughter is an incredible mom, and it leaves me in awe of all that she does.  Her children are smart, talented, capable and they love their Mimi(me) They are growing up in a different time than she did, and I believe that today is much harder.  I am so grateful that my children did not grow up on the internet.  There are so many dangers via the net.  Not just issues with friends that get broadcasted the minute it happens, but the danger of predators is so very real. I cannot imagine how parents today protect their children. Every day I pray not only for Josh and Becky but for each of their children.    In church today Pastor Kerney reminded us to speak life onto our children and grandchildren.  Each day I speak faith filled words for each of them.  When I see them, I remind them how much I love them and how important that they are by just being themselves. My son lives with me and I am grateful.  He helps me around the house.  He helps me with bills.  We pretty much stay out of each other's way after we are home.   We have been down to 1 car for well over a year, so he frequently drives me to work if he has school or teaching.  We talk a lot on our rides to and from.  We both commented that we will miss the travel time when his car is fixed because we talk about how I am feeling, how he is feeling, the bible, what's happening in the news.  I hardly watch the news anymore and now Joshua is the news junkie and keeps me apprised of current events.  We absolutely do not agree on everything and that's okay.  He is a "right fighter" and I am, of course, right about everything so it can be challenging at times!

From the day they were born I loved them beyond reason.  I worked full time and when not working it was pretty much about them. I made so many many mistakes.  I worked too many hours and wasn't home when I should have been.  I was saved but was not walking closely with the Lord thus did not have them in church. I remember we prayed every night and I would tell them to call on the name of Jesus when they faced trouble.  Becky was too young and likely has no memory of that time but would tell me that Jesus was her "fren"   I was overprotective and trusted no one with them.  More time than not, when I was called into work at night they would come with me.  They had a room in the hospital with beds and a TV.  In the morning Joshua would make sure Becky was dressed and would take her to the kitchen and the staff doted on them.  

Sitting here at 74 years of age looking back on that time I realize that my priorities were so screwed up.  My jobs had always been so important and looking back they dim in their value to my precious children. The one thing that I did not fail was loving them unconditionally.  I never left them that I didn't say I love You! Every phone conversation ended with love.  

My children are the best.  I don't care what issues we might have they know that they are loved beyond reason. When I am gone, I hope looking back on my life they won't remember my mistakes but only that I loved them completely and I was behind them always.  I hope that they know that my last thought will be of them.  

I miss my mom so much.  I remember that she always told me she loved me.  I went to sleep at night knowing that she was there for me, behind me, encouraging me to be the best.  She loved her three daughters, and I'm sure that we did have problems, but I honestly cannot remember what they were.  I just remember the love and acceptance.  I remember that she prayed for us continually.  She left a legacy of love and faith in God.  I want that to be me.  That is my goal.  

I love you Joshua, Rebekah, Allison, Winston, Aries, Patton, and Aster, you all are the very best!