I woke up this morning realizing the one thing I love to do is to blog and i hardly do so anymore. I am consumed with fixing my house up and working. I thank God every day for Joshua and Belle. My house is so very different than it was 6 months ago due to their combined efforts. I walk in the back door and I am HAPPY. I cannot express the number of people that have come in and their initial statement is that it feels "calm" Belle told me that my house looks like an Airrbnb in Florida. I could not be happier with that description. My colors are sea salt green on the walls and trimmed in white. Everywhere. I have a few other colors tossed in to give it some life but its all "beachy" tones. I love the beach. Let me clarify that I do not like the sand, heat, and humidity but I love the water. My friend Jojo Lapp bought me a flamingo wine holder years ago. My house is pretty much a home now to that goofy flamingo. I was in Hobby Lobby yesterday to have pictures framed and found a flamingo toilet paper holder. I bought it. It really is silly looking but it made me laugh and will go in the guest bathroom to compliment the shower curtain that is a picture of shells and sand. Would this new decoration qualify me for home beautiful? Indeed not but when you go to the bathroom you will laugh and that is pretty much the point.
The deer heads that graced my entryway for 20 years have been re-homed to Rebekah's. In their place is a wall of pictures of my children. I have so many that I am going to hang. I have different frames. I have store bought frames and I have professionally done frames. I have been told that I need to keep to the same type of frames to have a better "staging" look to the wall. Guess what, my house, my rules, my frames. If it offends anyone sensibility then don't look. I will walk down that long hall of pictures and it will bring back memories that I cherish and that is the point. In the hall leading to the bedrooms is the "creative" area for my kids and grand kids. I have hung pictures that my children created when they were small and have added the pictures that my grandchildren made for me. I have a picture that they each created of Mimi with each child. They are really great. Then I had them do a free style picture of anything they wanted. These will be changed each year in the summer. I also have current paintings that my son his children and Belle have made. I am going to hang needle point pictures that I have done and an oil painting that I did when i was in the fourth grade. Is it busy looking? You bet but it is wonderful for me to see all those things that they have done and that I have done. Again it is my house and my rules. My best part of my house is my fireplace. My son hung pictures of my grand kids that Belle took and my last years group picture of my grands and me. I cried when I saw it. They are my heart and joy and the first thing I see when I walk in my back door.
The last major thing on my home to-do list is my bedroom and bath. That will be done in the next few weeks. There are tons of little things that need to be done like painting the rest of the woodwork that has not been completed and my counter tops in my kitchen. Skip Woods a friend of Joshua's has an incredible artistic talent. He is going to do all my kitchen counter tops in epoxy. The base color will be white with two different blues and pearl, silver, pewter metallic. He owns a business called Liquid Stone Designs. I am eventually having all the popcorn stuff taken off the ceilings but that is later and done a room at a time.
I am approaching my favorite time of the year. I live for Christmas and have not been able to have decorations or guests over for the last 3 years. This year Christmas has returned to my home. I will have a tree in my dining room and in my front room. I will have my Santas out on display and I will have people over for my Christmas dinner a week before the actual date. I am beside myself with excitement. I have so many blessings to be thankful for but this one is the best.
I have spent the last few months getting rid of "stuff" . I have gifted many items and gave a lot to the shelter but still managed to fill up 2 construction dumpsters. I could probably fill up a third. It has been bitter sweet getting rid of "things". I still have too much but it will take more thought to divest myself of the rest. I just don't want my kids saddled with the same problems that I had when it comes time for me to "buy the farm" . I should have just said "died" but that is such a harsh word. I made a will with a real attorney. We laughed our way through it. The final question she asked was what I wanted done with my body. I gave it some thought and said I didn't care if I was cremated or buried but made her write in the will that if they had a viewing that I be laid in the casket in soft cotton pajamas, preferably "Cuddle-Duds" from QVC. They are the best. I should probably get a new set and put them aside. Just in case. I made distributions to my kids and grand kids of the few things that I have of value and the rest is up to them. I actually feel relieved that this job was done. It has weighed heavily on me since Stan died because he did not leave a will and that was a pain in the butt for all concerned.
Finally before I stop I just want to say that I am fine. I have moments that I wish that he were here to see what we have done with the house. I think he would have liked it. He would not be happy about the deer heads but such is the way of moving forward. They have a nice new home. I am not sure Rebekah is happy about it but Shane was happy as were the kids. I will post of blog of just the before and after pictures at a later date.
It feels good to write again and to express myself. More to come.
Friday, October 4, 2019
Tuesday, September 10, 2019
September 11, 2001. 18 Years and Counting
I remember like it was yesterday. Debbie Quebedeaux called me and woke me up with the news that we had been attacked. I stayed glued to the TV all day and cried. I cannot explain to someone who doesn't remember that day what it meant to me. Watching the towers collapse took my breath. I cried till my chest hurt. Watching the people leap from the windows taking their own lives devastated me but it was the last thing they had control of and made that horrific decision. We promised to never forget. We promised to never forget that Islamic Extremists want our country destroyed. We stood together holding our flags as we watched memorial service after memorial service. We grieved for people we didn't know as if they were family. We pulled together and we were proud to be Americans. I do not recognize our 2019 country . When Obama was elected in 2009 he promised to fundamentally transform the United States of America. He ushered in our rapid decent into the country that we are today. People bash President Trump but I voted for him and will do so again. God forbid if we have another 9/11 like incident. If we do the best man to deal with it would be Trump
.
On 9/11, 2001 we had an enemy. This enemy wanted to destroy us and drop us to our knees. This enemy had a face and an ideology. This enemy didn't realize that an all out attack against our country would galvanize and bring us together. What I see happening now is an internal attack against our morals, values, and our uniqueness that makes us the greatest country in the world. That damage done by this kind of attack may be permanent as we are complacent.
I will never forget and I will tell my grandchildren about that day. I will not give them a watered down version about what happened. I will tell them the day that America changed. We cannot take our eyes off of our freedom and allow others to take away what was given to us in the constitution. We can never forget. what Ronald Reagan said "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction"
God Bless America
.
On 9/11, 2001 we had an enemy. This enemy wanted to destroy us and drop us to our knees. This enemy had a face and an ideology. This enemy didn't realize that an all out attack against our country would galvanize and bring us together. What I see happening now is an internal attack against our morals, values, and our uniqueness that makes us the greatest country in the world. That damage done by this kind of attack may be permanent as we are complacent.
I will never forget and I will tell my grandchildren about that day. I will not give them a watered down version about what happened. I will tell them the day that America changed. We cannot take our eyes off of our freedom and allow others to take away what was given to us in the constitution. We can never forget. what Ronald Reagan said "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction"
God Bless America
Thursday, May 30, 2019
RIP Stan. May 15, 2019
On May 12 Stan woke me up stating that he was either having a stroke or a heart attack. He has symptoms of both but typical of Stan refused to allow me to call an ambulance. He wanted me to take him to my hospital in Breaux Bridge but I nixed that and went to our "mother" hospital, Lafayette General. He was immediately taken into triage and his initial EKG was performed and was negative. They took him back to a room and he was seen by Dr. Shipley and the nursing staff. He presented with vague symptoms and right arm tingling and pain. At home he had vomited twice and had an episode of diarrhea. As it stood initially he could have had a stoke, heart attack or a GI bug. As we waited for tests his heart began to slow into a consistent bradycardia and his blood pressure was dropping. At one point he had a brief seizure lasting long enough for me to yell for help and it ceased. His head CT was negative and while it was apparent he was ill it was such a vague combination of symptoms that it was hard to pin down the cause. He got sick again. Then the pain started in his lower back and left hip area. The pain he was having was marked in intensity and something that I have never seen him experience. The presentation was also something that I have seen frequently in the ED as has his LGMC nurse Dani and the doctor suspected as well. Stan had a dissecting aneurysm. He went back to CT and our worse suspicions were confirmed. He had an aortic aneurysm but it was extensive from his aortic arch down his left iliac artery, from his aortic arch it bifurcated into both carotid arteries in his neck into his right innominate artery into his right brachial artery. He had to be transferred to St. Lukes hospital in Houston immediately. Stan understood the gravity of the situation and wanted to go he also made himself a "no code" in case the worse happened and he arrested. I cannot say enough words to express my gratitude to the staff of Lafayette General Emergency Department. Dani stayed with me as did Matt. Dr. Shipley was amazing to Stan and to Rebekah and me. She kept us informed and I could feel her empathy. Her knowledge was a comfort and I so appreciated her simple explanations and her direct eye contact. Yes I am a nurse but I was a family member of a critical patient and I was not processing some of what was being said. I was so very touched by every nurse that came in contact with us. They provided support and encouragement. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone.
We had to go by ground ambulance because the weather was such that we could not fly. Prior to leaving he got to face time with Winston, Aries and Patton who told Papastan to get well, My thanks to the AASI crew as well who monitored him (and me) all the way to Houston. Rebekah was an hour behind. Stan was on several drips and was in control of his pain. He spoke to his friend Reno on the way and also spoke to Joshua. He told me that he was tired. The ride took about 3 and 1/2 hours. We were taken directly to the Intensive care unit and I was escorted out while they got him ready. Moments later they called me to the surgical hallway. I was panicked Rebekah was not there yet and she needed to see him one more time. They told me they could not wait. I called her and she spoke to him via phone. He said that he was ready if it was "his time", They took him away. I was cared for by his nurse January and she took me to breakfast explaining all the rules of the unit. She listened to me ramble and gave me the first of what was to amount to about a case of kleenix. I never seemed to have any with me. Rebekah and I waited nearly 14 hours for word. He was brought back to the ICU and Dr. Preventza came out to speak with us. She was very detailed and explained the extensive injury he survived. I was numb and she spoke mostly to Rebekah. I do remember that she said this was step one of 10. She explained what we should expect. We went back to see him and he was being cared for by two nurses. They explained what was going on and we touched him. They explained that they would be decreasing the sedative drip at 4am and that he would likely wake up a few hours later. That next morning we went to see him and he had not awakened. His basic reflexes were absent. The only time I regretted being a nurse was that morning I understood what the lack of those basic reflexes meant. The nurse however was encouraging in that she said that Dr. Preventza's patients were different. She explained that she would not be concerned for at least 24 hours of a non reflexive state. We visited him off and on all day. That night Rick Green flew in from Tulsa. Rick is the partner of my dear friend Bryan Wesson who is a D.NP. We didn't realize we needed Rick until we saw him. He took our minds off of everything and redirected us as only he can do. Rick heard things that I didn't, asked questions and got answers that I didn't know I needed. Rick I cannot thank you enough for the love and assistance your presence provided. That same night Dr. Michael Felton, his wife Maria and daughter Arianna, made a whirlwind trip to Houston to see "uncle Stan". Maria had assumed care of our 4 dogs while we were gone and again a gift that could never be repaid. Thank you sweet Maria. That Tuesday morning they informed us that he had gone into atrial fibrillation (RVR) that did not respond to cardioversion. His rate was controlled by another drip. They did a CT and an EEG to determine the reason Stan was not waking up. That afternoon we spoke with the Neurologist who gently informed us of his likely outcome. Rebekah and I made the difficult decision to remove the ventilator the next day. Our friend Kay McGuire came to be with us that morning. His nurse Brad informed us of each detailed step and for that I am so grateful. Stan once asked me why I sang Amazing Grace to all the babies( I cannot sing) I told him it was because it calmed them down and they went to sleep. So I found the song on line and played it while his heart slowed and stopped while we were there with him. Kay thank you so much for standing with us at that time.
To Brad Calhoun, Marvin Martinez, Jeannette Gemarino,Jacquelyn Allen, John Park, Audrey Garcia, and January Sintuphant. You are all gifted and have chosen the perfect profession. Your knowledge and compassion are such a balm for grieving family members. I don't know who said this to me but it needs to be said. While I was at his bedside talking to him I made the comment "why did we stay" she came up behind me and said "you are together for this moment, God knew what was ahead and that you were needed" Thank you. Brad you put up with us and with Rick. He had a great time razzing you and it made the day just a little brighter.
My final comments are directly related to his surgeon Dr. Preventza. She called me to express her sorrow at the situation. She sounded broken and I want her to know as I told her then that she is an incredible woman with such a gift. He survived his surgery, she repaired a terribly damaged arterial system. She possesses the tremendous ability to fix really broken people God surely works through her . Her team is unparalleled. Dr. Ceasar(forgive the spelling) was so very very kind to us. He was honest and direct which was a comfort.
I came home to my sister Patti Franklin who flew in from Illinois and gave us love and advice and to my friend Ruth Sutherland who came to put my house in order and keep me focused. Jill Forbes came to listen and to advise as well. My thanks to my CEO Karen Wyble who handled a problem for me. It made me smile when I heard her say UM HUM when I told her my problem. I knew it would be handled. My thanks to all the staff at St. Martin Hospital for covering me. I am so very grateful. I have forgotten so many people who have gifted Rebekah, Joshua, and me with help and love to those people thank you.
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens...... Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Rest in peace Stan and God's speed.
We had to go by ground ambulance because the weather was such that we could not fly. Prior to leaving he got to face time with Winston, Aries and Patton who told Papastan to get well, My thanks to the AASI crew as well who monitored him (and me) all the way to Houston. Rebekah was an hour behind. Stan was on several drips and was in control of his pain. He spoke to his friend Reno on the way and also spoke to Joshua. He told me that he was tired. The ride took about 3 and 1/2 hours. We were taken directly to the Intensive care unit and I was escorted out while they got him ready. Moments later they called me to the surgical hallway. I was panicked Rebekah was not there yet and she needed to see him one more time. They told me they could not wait. I called her and she spoke to him via phone. He said that he was ready if it was "his time", They took him away. I was cared for by his nurse January and she took me to breakfast explaining all the rules of the unit. She listened to me ramble and gave me the first of what was to amount to about a case of kleenix. I never seemed to have any with me. Rebekah and I waited nearly 14 hours for word. He was brought back to the ICU and Dr. Preventza came out to speak with us. She was very detailed and explained the extensive injury he survived. I was numb and she spoke mostly to Rebekah. I do remember that she said this was step one of 10. She explained what we should expect. We went back to see him and he was being cared for by two nurses. They explained what was going on and we touched him. They explained that they would be decreasing the sedative drip at 4am and that he would likely wake up a few hours later. That next morning we went to see him and he had not awakened. His basic reflexes were absent. The only time I regretted being a nurse was that morning I understood what the lack of those basic reflexes meant. The nurse however was encouraging in that she said that Dr. Preventza's patients were different. She explained that she would not be concerned for at least 24 hours of a non reflexive state. We visited him off and on all day. That night Rick Green flew in from Tulsa. Rick is the partner of my dear friend Bryan Wesson who is a D.NP. We didn't realize we needed Rick until we saw him. He took our minds off of everything and redirected us as only he can do. Rick heard things that I didn't, asked questions and got answers that I didn't know I needed. Rick I cannot thank you enough for the love and assistance your presence provided. That same night Dr. Michael Felton, his wife Maria and daughter Arianna, made a whirlwind trip to Houston to see "uncle Stan". Maria had assumed care of our 4 dogs while we were gone and again a gift that could never be repaid. Thank you sweet Maria. That Tuesday morning they informed us that he had gone into atrial fibrillation (RVR) that did not respond to cardioversion. His rate was controlled by another drip. They did a CT and an EEG to determine the reason Stan was not waking up. That afternoon we spoke with the Neurologist who gently informed us of his likely outcome. Rebekah and I made the difficult decision to remove the ventilator the next day. Our friend Kay McGuire came to be with us that morning. His nurse Brad informed us of each detailed step and for that I am so grateful. Stan once asked me why I sang Amazing Grace to all the babies( I cannot sing) I told him it was because it calmed them down and they went to sleep. So I found the song on line and played it while his heart slowed and stopped while we were there with him. Kay thank you so much for standing with us at that time.
To Brad Calhoun, Marvin Martinez, Jeannette Gemarino,Jacquelyn Allen, John Park, Audrey Garcia, and January Sintuphant. You are all gifted and have chosen the perfect profession. Your knowledge and compassion are such a balm for grieving family members. I don't know who said this to me but it needs to be said. While I was at his bedside talking to him I made the comment "why did we stay" she came up behind me and said "you are together for this moment, God knew what was ahead and that you were needed" Thank you. Brad you put up with us and with Rick. He had a great time razzing you and it made the day just a little brighter.
My final comments are directly related to his surgeon Dr. Preventza. She called me to express her sorrow at the situation. She sounded broken and I want her to know as I told her then that she is an incredible woman with such a gift. He survived his surgery, she repaired a terribly damaged arterial system. She possesses the tremendous ability to fix really broken people God surely works through her . Her team is unparalleled. Dr. Ceasar(forgive the spelling) was so very very kind to us. He was honest and direct which was a comfort.
I came home to my sister Patti Franklin who flew in from Illinois and gave us love and advice and to my friend Ruth Sutherland who came to put my house in order and keep me focused. Jill Forbes came to listen and to advise as well. My thanks to my CEO Karen Wyble who handled a problem for me. It made me smile when I heard her say UM HUM when I told her my problem. I knew it would be handled. My thanks to all the staff at St. Martin Hospital for covering me. I am so very grateful. I have forgotten so many people who have gifted Rebekah, Joshua, and me with help and love to those people thank you.
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens...... Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Rest in peace Stan and God's speed.
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