Monday, February 23, 2009

A Mom Memory

This early morning I was caring for an Alzheimer's patient and listening to her talk about her children. She was telling about how her job was never done and she just had to keep watch over her children. I flashed back to the last time I had stayed with my mom in her little apartment. I was sleeping on the fold out sofa and in the middle of the night I awoke to her stroking my hair from my face. I asked her if something was wrong and her answer was that she was just checking on me to make sure I was all right. She bent over and kissed me goodnight and went back to bed. I miss that touch.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Attack of the Fat

My mirror was most cruel today. I put on my scrub top to go to work and noted that my upper arm fat sorta hung down over my elbow...just a little....well maybe more than just a little. I did the dumbest thing. I undressed and looked at myself from all angles. I previously blogged that your mirror will lie to you and it's true until the age of 57 when apparently the scales fall away and you see yourself. I have cankles(where your calf meets your fat ankles) and I have a abdomo-thigh(where your abdomen meets your thighs...standing up) and last but not least my thighs are starting to overlap my knees. The only thing that doesn't droop is my boobs because they are fake. My implants(due to cancer)have gotten smaller in relation to my belly getting bigger. I am really disgusted with myself. I still remember my size 10 string bikini. I remember being able to dance,and do so wildly I might add, in 3 inch heels. My center of gravity is so off that with 3 inch heels I will pitch forward on my face. I can't cross my legs and I can't paint my own toenails. Wiping my butt is becoming a creative endeavor that even I can't discuss here. Okay today is the day. I start back on sugar busters today. Maybe I have just embarrassed myself(I am not sure that is possible)by admitting all the above but I swear to my 4 faithful readers that I am going to do it... I am going to diet and will report here my success and or failure. At the end when, Lord help me, I have successfully shed what amounts to 400 sticks of butter I will post before and after shots..... won't that be a treat!!!! Keep me in your thoughts.

Monday, February 16, 2009

A Rebekah Memory

I recommend all mothers make a note to blog (or journal) when their kids are small so that memories can be preserved. In an effort to let my grand kids know what their parents were like when a memory resurfaces I am blogging it down.

My daughter was a precious angel as a toddler. She had many ear infections and thus didn't talk much till about the age of two to three. One day we heard her out in the back yard talking to the boy across the fence. I can still see the blue gingham dress she had on with her curly white blond hair trailing down her back. She had her hands on her hips and she was reciting every curse word she ever heard, said in toddler-speak: some-a-bitch, 'dannit', shit, poopyhead, and a few others that I cannot write down in fear of the blogging police. I PROMISE you she didn't hear those words at home. Stan brought her in the house to the hall bath and soaped his fingers to wash out her mouth. He told her he had to wash out the bad words and to open up. She opened up and he liberally 'scrubbed' the words out of her mouth. She was not happy and cried real tears and was sent to her room. Nothing more was said and the rest of the day was uneventful. That night as she got ready for bed she knelt down on her knees to pray. After God blessing each of the animals on her wallpaper(her room was done in Woodland Friends paper) She got very serious and said God don' you let Jesus ebber say shithead, some-a bitch, or dannit cause you have to wash he mowf out wif soap. Amen.
My little angel.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

At a Loss For Words

To those of you who know me the title of this blog would never describe me. In the past few weeks I have been watching in morbid fascination what is happening to our country. The news now is like coming up on a train wreck, horrible to see, but you can't take your eyes away. I keep thinking I need to watch reruns to get myself in mind numbing state of unawareness. First of all I liked Bush, a lot. I believe he kept us safe. Even then, I was not happy with Bush with the first bailout and let my representatives know that, which as responsible voting Americans we are supposed to do. Now, Obama has forced thru a 'stimulus package' that will keep our country in debt for generations. I have a huge problem with being force fed anything and 1000 + page tome explaining where our money is going that was delivered just days before the vote was to take place smacks of being force fed a pile of crap. I quote my mom a lot in my blog but something she used to say is fitting here. Don't sign anything that you have not read. This makes sense in every situation and anyone who insists that you sign ANYTHING before you have had a chance to read it is selling you a bill of goods. We are living in scary times and our charismatic president is not helping. He is fanning the flames of fear and forcing this stimulation package down our throats before anyone has had the opportunity to read it. It could be the best thing since sliced bread but NO ONE should have signed it without a full disclosure and without Americans being able to have their say thru their elected representatives. I sent off the obvious e-mails to my "people' and told them I would be unhappy if they signed or words to that effect. I strongly feel that this is going to be one of the worst things that has happened to our country and if it turns out that I am wrong then you will read it here first.... I will give a big 'my bad'... eat crow and all that. Time will tell.