Sunday, May 8, 2011
I think about you Mom but it hurts less than it did. That doesn't mean that I don't think about you often, because I do. What I mean is that the pain of your passing is less acute. I still catch myself thinking that I need to call you and tell you something and it catches me up short when I realize that I will not hear your voice at least in this life. I have friends that I talk to and I keep up with my sisters but it's not the same. I think that there is nothing that takes the place of the MOM connection. Joshua is getting married and since he doesn't have a grandmother from my side he has elected to bump Barbara into the Grandma role. She says that she is thrilled but you know what... I wish you were still here to see your "toad frog" get married. I remember at one of Barbara's kids wedding.... Joshua was withdrawn and really sad. He finally told me that he was upset because he knew that you would never see him get married. You will have missed both my children's weddings. When Becky got married I carried a baby picture of her and one of the both of you in my purse, it just didn't seem fair that you weren't there. I miss not being able to share my children's important milestones with you. I hope that as I age I do so with the grace and acceptance that you did. I miss you mom. You gave me so much love and I miss that more than anything else.