Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas 2010



This is my 59th Christmas and after probably 30 years I turned my traditions upside down and it worked out so very well that I was left with the understanding why nothing should be written in stone... well except the menu for dinner. THAT can't change. I always spread things over 2 days. In the past we had Christmas Eve dinner and opened up a single gift on that night. Then I stayed up till all hours wrapping stocking presents and making breakfast casseroles... and as a reward to myself I also consume a significant amount of cheap champagne. I would go to bed for about 2 hours then get up, light the tree, and pop the breakfast in the oven. I made the kids come back at about 7 am to open stockings and presents. It was always a little tense.. fun but tense(can anyone say tired). I know the "reason for the season" and I love the celebration of Jesus birth, BUT I still think I was hanging on to the illusion that I had to have Santa Clause pass for my adult children. I think that was more for me than them. I also changed my guest list. I had only family and a long time friend, my kid's 'Taunte" Jill. We had 7 at the table and while I missed the wonderful guests I had had in the past I have to admit that this was lovely. We ate a wonderful meal and then opened presents and we had the best time. I am now faced with the daunting process of taking all the decorations down. Keep in mind that I only utilized about 10 of the 20 some boxes of decorations that I have in the attic. My only 2 New Years resolutions(along with the usual following my diet resolution.. but this doesn't count because it's one of those "givens") is to clean out the attic and organize my "lovelies" and to finally get my kid's 1995 present organized and wrapped. I started picture albums for my kids that covers from their great grandparents to present. I have not gotten far and Becky gifted me with a Family Tree Maker download that I am very excited about. If it takes me the rest of 2011 I WILL get this done. So to all my friends and family I hope your Christmas was blessed and that in the midst of all the eating and gifting that time was taken to reflect on the birth of our Lord Jesus.

I have posted pictures in the next blog.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Well Quite Frankly Scarlet, Aging Sucks

I just can't stop myself. I just finished jogging down memory lane in my last blog and I am still thinking about aging. I don't have a choice. I. Am. Getting. Older. It. Sucks. You can give me all the rah rah crap about the serenity of our elder years and how age brings wisdom and best of all how 60 is the new 50. Horse shit. Younger is better. My skin, hair, eye sight, and boobs all were better younger. Well the boobs aren't. After the cancer I have permanently perky boobs sans nipples... they are so very perky you will be able to sit a glass of champagne on them while I am laid out in my casket.... I miss being able to see day light between my thighs. I miss my size 10 string bikini and my tight narrow leg jeans. I miss my memory. I miss dating. Between husbands I loved to date. It was up to the yahoo I went out with to impress me. I juggled several yahoos. I had a good time. Oh man do I miss tanning. The big C stopped that in short order and quite frankly as said before tan fat looks a hell of a lot better than white fat. I miss thin ankles and high heels. I miss thin fingers that aren't bent with arthritis. It loses the impact when I am pointing at something and my finger is off by 30 degrees. I even miss jogging..sort of. Well what I really miss is getting whistled at when I jogged by in my shorts. Now, if I jog on the treadmill the staff at the gym will give me a standing ovation, but it's not the same thing. I miss being able to hold my urine. But my lack of bladder control may not be the fault of those pesky kegles muscles it may be a mind thing. I can pee just before I leave work and by the time I get home 20 minutes later I am hobbling in the house cross legged trying to make the pot before I wee wee down my leg. Nah... it's still the kegles. I think I must have had a kegal centered stroke. I miss being able to stay up till all hours and then get up after 3 hours sleep and go to work and feel great.

Things that I don't miss and I do like about aging.

I don't miss shaving my legs every day. I shave one a month if I think about it and maybe not even then. I am not quite as hairy as I was. I don't miss being polite all the time. While I am not rude exactly, I just pretty much say what I want to say. Younger times I would have worried about what the person thought about me.... now I just don't care and I go by the theory that Honesty is really the BEST Policy. My memory being what it is half the time telling a lie to be polite is risky because I will forget what I said. I really do like the fact that I have been around long enough that a)nothing much surprises me b) if by chance I am surprised I can be rude about it and make a pithy comment. I like knowing things. I know a lot of things.... don't ask me what right now but as it comes up I realize I know things. I like that I have read thousands of books and I am very pleased that few are self help crap. I like that crossword puzzles in the NYT or the USA Today don't stump me for long. I like the fact that age has taught me the importance in paying attention to politics and letting my voice be heard(people at work don't like that but then of course they are younger) I like the fact that I have had close friends for 30+ years that have stood the test of time. There is something about knowing a person that long that is special.
I like that fact that generally when I speak, people listen... and usually do what I want.

They have a new pill out that has been successful with mice. Apparently the physical side of aging has been reduced by like 20 mouse years..... I want to test that pill.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Memory Lane

Well I just hit the big 59. I am staring directly at 60 and it leaves me breathless. I recently made a whirl wind pass through trip to Columbus, Ohio and passed by my old homestead( see 2 blogs down with pics). This blog is going to ramble some so bear with me as I jot down memories that I thought were gone. I drove by my old elementary school and through my old neighborhood. Nothing much has changed and I remembered a simpler time. I told my friend how when I was growing up it was not unusual to walk three streets over to visit my friends Susie and Sandy. I never felt scared after dark, no one tried to pick me up, I never knew anyone who had been kidnapped by a predator or even what a child molester was. It was funny but visiting brought back happy memories and those that had hurt. Each year during elementary school I went to Nancy Northrup's house for her birthday. Her father took us to the Jet's baseball game and we spent the night at her house. She had a doll called Pitiful Pearl and I can still see it in my mind's eye. When I passed by my elementary school I remembered Marta who lived across the street... I thought she was the most cool in my 6th grade class and I could see her as she was then. I remembered Debbie Curry who had a real swimming pool in her back yard. Debbie was covered in freckles and I was jealous because I didn't have any. I remember in 5th or 6th grade that Barb, Melanie and I had desks together and they got mad at me because I was horse crazy and that's all I talked about. I was extremely irritating and unknown to me for a time they took turns and wrote down everything I said( thank you Jesus they didn't have a tape recorder)and finally they "talked" to me and told me why they hated me. I cried that day and Marta asked me to her house after school and that made being snubbed by my desk mates tolerable and she told me the whole class thought that Barb and Mel were 'weird' and not to feel bad. I passed by the front of the school where we used to play 4-square. I was playing there the day President Kennedy was killed. I played with Patty Weigand as a child and was in awe of her fake silver Christmas tree that changed colors via a rotating color wheel. Patty got a Chatty Cathie talking doll one year and it flat killed me, I wanted one like that so badly. I remembered that after Astronaut John Glen went up Patty got a live chicken for Easter and called the damn thing John Glen. Scott Fortenbacher lived one street over and I wonder if he still has that Lionel Train set. The set up took up most of his basement, it was a guy thing but still pretty neat. I thought of Melanie(a different Mel) who got the first Beatles haircut and Betsy Hicks who had Friday slumber parties and couldn't eat peperoni pizza until after midnight because she was Catholic. We were poor and we couldn't afford many up to date clothes. In junior high school Sandy Kennard got "Villager" clothes and I was pea green with envy. Susie Loik had the coolest bedroom and played tennis in her bare feet. Susie and Sandy both had that "something" that made others want to be around them and I was glad that we were friends. We called our parents Mr. and Mrs. and we moved freely around each others homes. I was called Girt... I don't remember why... and in high school we wrote notes to each other daily(today we would have texted). I thought of my first real crush( NOT returned) in elementary school, his name was Bernie. I don't think I was particularly popular but I did manage to go to all three senior proms (Tom, Ray, and Randy in that order). I spent winters skating at Westgate Pond and summers swimming at Bender's pool (also called Hilltop). Our world was different then and better. There were rules and we obeyed them. If we didn't we got in trouble. Our parents did not expect the schools feed us and teach us manners. That was the job of our parents AND if we acted the ass we got it BAD at home. A note from the teacher was a guaranteed grounding. School was for education. We prayed in school and daily said the pledge. We didn't have the worry that indiscretions, real or imagined, would be put on YouTube or texted to the whole class. We sniped and gossiped about each other as girls will but it pretty much stayed in the neighborhood. I don't remember being really bullied nor was I mean. I think I just pretty much went with the flow. I was a Blue Bird, Campfire Girl and Girl Scouts and hated all of them. I took piano lessons from a neighbor, Miss Ruth Thatcher. Miss Ruth was blind and utilized light knuckle slapping when a wrong note was played. I hated to practice and the knuckle slapping got old thus the only thing I can play now is chopsticks. The library is still there at the end of the block. I wish I could remember the librarian's name. I owe her so much. She encouraged my reading and fed my imagination. I am what I am now because of where I was raised. I took what I was given and made it better. End of my ramble.

PS. Before I forget.... to my tablemates Barb and Melanie..... bite me.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Demi the Wonder Dog update and Christmas

Demi the Wonder dog is recuperating from having her uterus yanked out. I wanted to have this done in Houston at Kay's clinic but the timing sucked and she was going into heat again so I went up the road to Dr. Guidry's clinic and he did a great job. Demi loves to "go" anywhere. She loves to go to the kennel(the last time she was there for a week and I think it worried her that we weren't coming back) she doesn't mind the vet, she will hop in the car just to ride around the block. I have been loading her and going about my errands recently because it makes her so dadgum happy to watch the scenery go by. This last Tuesday she hopped into the car and I took her to the vet and she was just so pleased to visit. She wagged her whole butt upon entering the clinic. I left her with a bunch of kisses and picked her up at 5 pm. She was hunched up, guarding her belly, tried to wag but yelped, the movement apparently caused some pain. Man she looked...ummm sort of sad and bewildered. I walked her to the car and lifted her in she laid down and didn't move. I got her home and had to lift her out of the car. She stood by the couch and I lifted her up to the couch and covered her with a blanket. She dozed for about 3 hours. She refused all water and food but did pee later in the evening after I carried her outside. I think she liked the "being carried" part. I finally got her to lap out of the toilet and lifted her up into the bed and she slept the entire night after I medicated her for pain. She is better today. She refused water this morning but lapped up dilute chicken broth with rice. She got her pain medication and is now resting in her crate.

Christmas is going to change again this year as far as my traditions go. Last year it was minimal because we went on the cruise. This year I am decorating to my hearts content but I am not dragging out the dinner and breakfast like I usually do. We will have dinner and then open presents and because of Becky and my schedule it will happen before Christmas Eve. This is still my favorite holiday but I have lost some of the 'thrill'. This year has been difficult for me for many reasons and I think it has dimmed some of the joy that I experience. I will not have the huge amount of presents to gift. I am having to cut back in many ways and it has really made me sad. I laid in bed last night and thought about what is happening within my world. I realized that nothing or no one can take my joy unless I give it up. So today in this blog, I am claiming my joy. I will not allow anyone or anything to impact my happiness. My Louisiana BFF Jill Mary is coming over to help me clean and decorate next week. She is strapped for money and it just kills her not to be able to buy presents. I can understand her feelings, I would be just like that. I told her that I needed help with the house and she is gifting me her time and energy to help me get ready for the holidays. What a wonderful gift, I couldn't be more thrilled and thru her generosity of her time I am learning that presents don't always have to be wrapped up with a bow and stored under the tree.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving 2010

I just got back from vacation yesterday and had no plans for today. Becky called me this morning to wish me a happy Thanksgiving and to find out my plans. She said that Francis and Benny would love to have me over and figured that I worked. Francis and Benny always send me a plate to work because I usually do work on the holiday. I vetoed Becky's plan to call Shane to let him know that I was off. It made me feel funny and I don't know why. Believe me anyone who has eaten fare from the Garrard family knows what a treat it is but I just felt that I was imposing. How do you tactfully call someone and say... ummm hey there I am off, can I eat with you?? Stan is hunting and I don't know what Josh and Syd were doing so I decided it was up to me to make or break my own day. I started the day watching the Macy's parade. It brought memories of Thanksgivings at Aunt Edna's when we would all get together, watch the parade on a COLOR TV and have a family meal. I found tears rolling down my cheeks. Man I miss my mom. We didn't have a lot of money but holidays were family days and are so dear to my heart. Demi the wonder dog has not left my side. She was at the kennel for a week and I think she missed me. While I sat in my chair she climbed up beside me and scooched beside me and kept her head on my lap. I finally rousted myself and went to the store because our cupboard is really bare. I thought about turkey but I am not a fan unless it is fried so I settled on a prepared chicken. I bought salad fixings and corn on the cob. I prepared my meal and watched Miracle of 34th Street while I ate. All in all it was a peaceful time. I remembered Texas Thanksgivings with my friend Ruth. I hated to think of anyone alone at Thanksgiving. I worked at the clinic on Texas A&M's campus and came in contact with several students who for financial reasons couldn't go home so I invited them to my house. This started a tradition between Ruthie and me and we alternated homes each year. We were filled to the rafters with friends and strangers... mostly students... and we had the most blessed of times. It wasn't unusual to have at least 50 people come and go. I miss that. I am blessed in so many ways, I have a wonderful family, wonderful friends, a job that I enjoy, a warm secure home, and a great dog. Thank you God for all my blessings and for this day that was spent in reflection. I am content.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Our Adventure in the North, Toll Roads, Tests, Tears and Laughter. A Trip Home

Note that the next blog down has pictures from our trip.

Jill and I set out for Racine, Wisconsin on November 17th so that she could do her clinicals to complete her testing to become a registered nurse. We drove straight thru(about 15 hours). I have never in my life seen so many toll roads. What is that about?? I am guessing that from beginning to end we spent about 40 bucks on tolls. We left Racine and I aged years driving thru Chicago..OMG it was Sunday and the traffic was horrible. We traveled 5 hours to Perrysburg, Ohio to see my sister Barb and my nieces. My other sister Patti couldn't come over from Iowa and was greatly missed. I have several favorite foods(as evidenced by the size of my Grannie panties) but my very favorite thing is shortbread Christmas cookies with butter cream icing that my sister Barb makes. They are a pain in the butt to make and my sister made me a box full. I am not sure what points to assign them in my Weight Watcher's plan but it doesn't matter. I ate the whole box over 4 days. My bad. Carrie and Barb put us up in a great hotel for two days and kept us entertained. We went out to eat, went to a great church, and just spent time with family and friends. It ended too soon. We left Perrysburg and traveled to Wooster, Ohio to see my oldest sister, Joann Page. Wooster is a small town in Amish country and somehow even using GPS we got lost after we left Jo's to get to the interstate. We arrived in Columbus a good hour late to visit with my Aunt Edna who is in a rehab unit recovering from a TIA and pneumonia. When I saw her I cried. Don't get me wrong, she looks good and is alert but she made me realize how much I miss my mom. She is my mom's only sibling and we spent so much time with her family while I was growing up. I told her that we would be back thru Columbus in April and that we would stop again. I love you Aunt Edna, and when it's your time, remember to tell mom how much I miss her. My plan was to be in Tennessee by that night but only made it another 15 miles down the road to Grove City. I was lured by the promise of White Castles, a soft bed, and good company. Angela and Paige Jacob and her dad Lee Amos welcomed us into their home for the night. We drank beer, ate sliders and had the best time. Lee gave up his bed to Jill and I with the warning to try to stay away from his underwear drawer. In the morning Jill said that we should have both come downstairs with a pair of his drawers on our heads. We should have done it... Lee would have been hysterical. I went by the old neighborhood showed Jill my elementary school(I don't know what made me think that she would be interested... I really don't), drove to my old house to take a picture. The house is a mess. The only thing missing is a car jacked up on cinder blocks. The poor neighbors. Any way I went next door to the Gormans, walked in to sing Happy Birthday to Fran for her 70th. I cried at her house too. Traveling down memory lane has been tough on my tear ducts. Blessings to you, Fran and Roger and I am so glad I was able to visit. This trip has been a bag of mixed feelings. Jill will have to return to test again and that is a heartbreak but we had such a good time visiting with my family and friends. Jill saw her first Amish ( she thought he was a statue), ate her first White Castle, learned to love Blue Collar Comedy and willingly sang happy birthday to a stranger. I drug her all over the state of Ohio and she laughed a lot. As for me, I have learned that I will never, ever harbor a desire to live in Chicago. I have visited my past and the memories nearly bowled me over and I spent time with my friends and relatives and laughed with joy. I ate "sliders" and drank beer, and smoked too much. I talked so much my throat hurt. I actually entertained the idea of wearing a pair of men's underwear on my head( and wish I had). And last but not least.... I got Christmas cookies with icing. All in all it was such a great trip and is one that I will make again. This next time I will take more time.

Pictures From Debbie and Jill's Excellent Adventure

Jill getting into the car at midnight. We traveled all night to reach Racine, Wisconsin.
Carrie White and her son Drew. She is my sister Barb's middle child and Drew is Carrie's youngest.
Jill, Paige, Mindy and Angela
Mindy Bowling. Mindy is my sister Barb's oldest child
Paige and Angela Jacob. Ang is my "adopted niece", the daughter and granddaughter of Connie and Lee Amos
Joel White my oldest great nephew, son of Carrie and Ben
Evan White, Carrie and Ben's middle son
Andrew White, Carrie and Ben's youngest son
Barb and me!!!
The dinner group at a Japanese steak house... yum!
Mindy, Carrie, and moi.
My sister Joann Page. We visited her in Wooster, Ohio
Edna Bagley is my mom's only sister. She is recovering from pneumonia. Edna is 92.
Angie and her dad, Lee Amos. They kept us overnight and fed us White Castles. I was in heaven
Roger and Fran Gorman were our neighbors in Columbus. She just had her 70th Birthday and Jill and I stopped by to sing to her. What a treat for her..LOLOL we did really surprise her!!
My elementary school.
This was my home. I lived here till I was 26. It looks nothing like it used to. On the off chance that it's current owner reads this blog. Clean your yard, be nice to your neighbors.... you don't know just how lucky you are to have the wonderful neighbors that you have.


Jill and I made one last trip to the Castle for sliders. Krystal burgers have nothing on a White Castle!!!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Vote

Today we may get a chance to reverse the direction this country is headed. The rah, rah Democrats and Republicans(and independents), who stood behind Obama on TARP, health care, HUGE government and his love of illegal immigrants, have been abandoning his side like rats leaving a sinking ship. But we remember who you are, and I have no love for anyone who flip-flops their opinions based on public opinion. Obama "misspoke"( I am coming to hate that term) when he told the Latinos to come against the 'enemy'.... I guess that would be conservatives ie: Republicans, and Tea Party proponents. In history the pinnacle of success for a LEGAL immigrant in America was the ability to provide a living for his family and to obtain citizenship. Obama and his ilk want to cheapen and denigrate that object of success.. first by the programs designed to keep the populace dependent on the government for their basic needs and second by providing sanctuary for illegal immigrants, in fact encouraging them to stay. Today we will see unprecedented cheating at the voting precincts involving illegal immigrants voting. What a shame that citizenship to my beloved country is for sale for a vote. We are living in the days of "Chicago" politics where cheating(on both sides) is considered normal. The men and women who are our first line of defense don't get their vote counted. This has been going on for years. Come on people, we put a man on the moon years ago and we can't COUNT THE VOTES OF OUR SERVICEMEN AND WOMEN.
If you read my blog then you have a homework assignment... VOTE then come home and look up on the Internet 'the progressive movement' teach your children and yourself what the progressive movement is and how it threatens our way of life.
Finally as a tea-party leaning Republican, Mr. President, I am NOT your enemy, I am your worst nightmare... an educated voting American with a big mouth and the facts to back up my statements.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Stuffed Animals and What is Love


Thelma is the "blond" on the left and Ina is the "blond" on the right.

One of my favorite books for children is the Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams Bianco. I read this to my kids when they were babies and I have even used it in group sessions when I worked in Psych. I am in the process of going thru many many stuffed animals that I have purchased for both my kids and many that have been given as gifts. My son tells me that I am a pack rat. He may be right but I figure as long as you can walk thru my house unimpeded then I cannot be the star of the reality show about the hoarders. I was initially devastated when I realized that they had cleaned out the closet in my middle bedroom. That closet had most of my saved stuffed animals that I had earmarked for future grand kids. My "treasures" and their associated memories did not mean to him what it meant to me. All the animals were stuffed in garbage bags and relegated to my dining room to be given or thrown away. On the top of one bag was "Thelma" and next to her was "Ina". Both were home made and named after Becky's grandmas who had gifted them to her when she was about 3. She wouldn't go to sleep without both of the dolls next to her. They are stained and missing clothes but they were greatly loved. Seeing them in the bag, discarded, broke me up. I cried all the way to work. I knew that I was being ridiculous and that I had to go through the bag to choose what would be kept and what would be thrown. As the days have gone by I have been able to at least separate the sentimental favorites from the ones that I would not miss. Becky will have to come over and go thru it all and make choices as well. Looking at Ina and Thelma reminded me of the segment in the Velveteen Rabbit about what is "Real". Please take the time and read the excerpt.

**************************************************

"Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'

Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.

Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'

Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?'

It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
— Margery Williams Bianco (The Velveteen Rabbit)


Yes I have saved momentoes from my kid's(and my)childhood and I am going though them all to downsize. But I remain a very sentimental woman who looks at items from the past as touchstones to fond and loving memories. I will not apologize to anyone for that.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Juan Williams. NPR Sucks

Yesterday Juan Williams, the senior news commentator with NPR, was fired because of a conversation he had on Fox's show the O'Reilly Factor. I saw the show and was in agreement with Mr. Williams. He commented that when flying it gives him pause to see fellow passengers in Muslim garb. I have enjoyed his often counterpoint conversations with Bill OReilly and Sean Hannity. He is an intelligent, decent, NON-BIGOTED, individual who presents his opinion in a no nonsense type manner. I am appalled at the actions of NPR. His reasoning was tied back to 9/11 and the World Trade Center attack carried out by RADICAL Muslims(I don't want anyone to say I'm a bigot)He didn't say he would get off the plane just that it would stir something inside him(not his exact words). I would probably get off the plane. Contrary to Joy Behar and Whoopie Goldberg's ambulatory exit off the set of The View when Bill O'Reilly expressed his opinion I agreed with what he said. I am sure that there are very peace loving Muslims but they have to stand up and be loudly vocal or their silence screams support for their more radical brethren. I am for religious freedom for all but if your freedom is expressed in killing innocents just because they don't follow your tenets then your freedom should be limited or denied. We have radical Christians who deserve the same treatment. We have no right to violently force anyone to follow what we believe is the correct path to God. I am sickened by NPR and Congress needs to investigate what is happening with the National PUBLIC Radio and stop funds to an organization that suppresses freedom of speech.

Monday, October 18, 2010

My Daughters Birthday 10/19



Every year I write something to my children on their birthday. It's Rebekah's birthday today and in looking back on my 29 years with her I realize just how blessed I have been that God chose to allow me to raise this remarkable woman. She is goal directed in her desire to advance her nursing degree and I have seen her struggle with assignments that I would have just tossed in the towel. Becky the words I love you are easily said but they come so deeply from my heart. You are loved unconditionally every day in every way. I love your sense of honor, your outlook on life, your dedication to your profession, your faith in God, your understanding in all things. We have grown to the point where I seek your council in many things because your perspective is fresh, honest and on target. I benefit from your patience. Stay as you are my baby girl and know that I love you more than all the stars in the sky and the grass in the ground.
love mama

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Joshua and the B.O.B.

I shared a link on my face book page about a baby who happened to have a BOB(battery operated boyfriend) mixed in with his toys. It was pretty funny till you think about who put it there and why on earth they let the baby play with it.. but i digress. Anyway it reminded me of when Josh was a toddler. Joshua was just 3 when Stan and I got married. I worked on Life Flight in Pensacola, Florida with a bunch of really great, irreverent nurses and pilots. They had a wedding shower for me and I got all kinds of useful things.... the best being a case of Tanqueray Gin and some girly stuff. The last thing I unwrapped was a vibrator. I still remember them all sitting there waiting for my reaction. I was pretty embarrassed because I had never seen one before( I didn't get out much) Well when I got home I was going to throw it out.. then got concerned because someone might know that the trash was mine and "what would they think"? I buried it in my underwear draw and forgot about it. It was a different time my faithful two readers and "Sex in the City" would have been outlawed let alone given Emmys. I refused to tell Stan about it. We could be sexually liberated but still prudish. When Stan and I got ready for our move to Tulsa I was going thru my clothes and saw the B.O.B. Again what to do with the thing. I kept it in the drawer and planned on throwing it out when we got to Tulsa(I really planned on driving behind some store and throwing it in a dumpster..after wiping off my prints). We moved to a condo development and settled in. About 2 weeks after we moved I had been downstairs unpacking and realized I hadn't heard from Joshua and went upstairs to look. I couldn't find him and went outside and he was gone. I was frantic and went door to door looking for him. He was around the block in our backyard neighbor's home. This was someone I hadn't met yet and when she opened the door I told her who I was and that my son was missing. She looked at me for the longest time and then said, over her shoulder, "Joshua your mommas here for you" Up popped Joshua and I enveloped him in a hug and told him he had to go home because he left without permission. As we walked out the door she stopped us and said "Joshua, don't forget your toy". In he ran and came back with that damn vibrator dragging on the floor behind him. It actually was long enough it bounced on the floor while he walked. I was horrified.

"Who does that belong to" I asked my son...

Joshua responded "it's yurs mommy"

"Oh no it isn't" I replied with bravado.

"Yes it is mommy it was in yur nunderwear drawer...and looky it goes vrrrroomm" (as he turned it on.

We are so "enlightened" today so you cannot know just how bad this was. I loaded up the car with Joshua and the Vibrator and drove about 20 miles from my condo and threw the B.O.B. away in a dumpster. I know that of all the wonderful neighbors we had in the condo community, the backyard neighbor was not one of them. She pretty much snubbed us.... and I was glad.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Fat, the Government and a GREAT Email from my NP A. Guidry, RN

Hi there blog I haven't written in a while. I have been watching the news avidly as our country is going down the tubes. We have elections coming up and as a nation we need to not vote for a party(whether TEA, Democratic, or Republican)as much as vote for the appropriate persons who will bring our country back on track. Obama is a failure as a president. He continues to blame Bush for the mess that he has put this country in. It is time to stop the handouts, the giveaways and the attempt of our current administration to make us all dependent on the government for our health, home and food. We CANNOT just sit by and watch Washington move into our homes and tell us how much of our own money we get to keep, and legislate our food intake and access to our own physician. Chubby people out there who happen to be reading this blog take note: as of 2014 your hospital and doctor will have to submit your BMI(body mass index)to an UNNAMED collector in Washington(maybe CDC) If they don't comply and have all your information on electronic medical records they will be punished by the amount of reimbursements they will receive. What the hell do they want my abundant BMI for?? Well it's not a stretch to believe that we will be taxed, pay higher insurance fees, or have our fast food selections limited to what they feel is more appropriate for our size. My mind goes to other punishments as well but most would view me as being paranoid. Anyone who doesn't feel this is an invasion of our privacy, our doctor patient relationship and a risk to our personal freedoms is either living in the woods without access to the news or is just plain stupid. We are a nation of fat people and fat causes increased health care costs... I understand that but I do not want anyone from Washington to have access to just how big my Grannie panties are. EMRs(electronic medical records) will be totally secret and protected...ummmhummm... well my totally smart nephew Kryss could probably hack into the system without breaking a sweat.

My awesome health care provider A. Guidry,NP(anyone needing a referral to she or her partner K. Sonnier just let me know.. they are the best) sent me an email and I have copied for this blog.. it is so true:

These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read:
1)You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2)What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3)The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4)When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

5)You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
Political Science 101

End of Lesson.....Test to follow in November

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Nine Years Ago Today

Every year on this date since 2001 I watch TV and I am transfixed by the images of the attack on the World Trade Center. Radical Muslims on suicide missions changed us. I find myself waiting for the next attack, the next horror to be visited on this country that I so love. It changed the way I live my life. I do not like to fly and I avoid huge gatherings. If given tickets to the Superbowl, I would not attend. I find myself thinking that an attack there would be the perfect venue to demoralize us even further. These men believed that by killing innocent Americans their way would be paved to their heaven. Good luck with that. I work on not allowing myself to live in fear and I work on my anger against a religion that mandates wholesale slaughter as a religious right against those who don't believe as they do. We are a nation of differences and as Christians we have our loonies as well. I don't do fanatics of any culture or religion. I do not want the Mosque built near ground Zero. Go Away. If you really really really wanted unity you would go elsewhere and not build your mosque, this shrine that honors those crazy zealots, because that is what it is all about. You would want to take into consideration the pain, suffering, and memories of the 9/11 survivors. That is what a Christian would do.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Pain the New Vital Sign

As nurses we assess patients as they come into the ER. Vital signs, physical evaluation and history of illness are initially done to assess the urgency of the problem. We also assess the pain level the severity in which is measured on a scale from one to ten. Ten is of course the most severe. This is done so that when we administer something for pain after a 30 min. wait we can reassess your response to what we have given you. I have addressed the issue of behavior in the ER but really, if you are coming in complaining of 10/10 pain and you have had it for over a week and have taken NOTHING for it, then don't expect us to really believe you. Especially when you are giggling with your pals while you wait.
When you hit the triage door with a splinter in your finger and you wail around like you got hit by a car we have trouble understanding. Pain is relative to the person who is experiencing it and to his/her personal weenie level. I gave a shot to a 3 year old who never moved and said a mild "ouch" and in the next hour gave a shot to a 30 year old man who screamed like I was yanking his lips over his forehead. It kinda sounded just like this... if you can imagine the voice raising and lowering:ohmygodjesushelpMEEEEEEEEohshitwhatinHELLyougotinthatohJESUSsave MEohohohohohSHIT.
Having experienced pain at different times of my life I want to yell at some of these drama queens(and kings) "you want to talk about pain... I tell you what pain is: Pain is a 9lb+ and a 10lb+ baby coming out of a narrow canal(not so narrow anymore.ha)with heads that feel the size of a cantaloupe WITHOUT ANESTHESIA. So bite me. I am a nurse therefore I am naturally compassionate. NOT. I have to work on it everyday. Each day someone comes and sits in my triage chair with a story and it is usually about pain. Honestly I have to stop myself from comparing their pain with some of the stuff I have been thru or comparing with other patients who live in pain daily without a complaint. Each person deserves to be evaluated by himself without the collective history of previous patients and my own experience. Do not think this gives you a pass however when you tell me that you have lived in severe pain for 2 weeks without A) calling your own MD B) without trying to relieve it yourself with ANYTHING over the counter C)while laughing and yuking it up with your friends D)complaining about your severe pain while putting on your mascara in the triage chair telling me that you been crying for days with the agony and lastly don't think I will let you pass without question when you complain of 10/10 pain while telling me you have to be seen right away because you have a date.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Dinner 100.00 Entertainment Free

I wasn't sure whether this should be on my diet blog or on this one. Obviously this won. I took 4 people out to dinner tonight at my favorite restaurant to thank them for helping Joshua paint his old studio. More at a later date on the new studio. Anyway we had 2 pitchers of margaritas between us and I cut myself off as soon as the tip of nose got numb. We had a great dinner and better conversation. I sat for a while sipping water so I swear to you that I was sober leaving. The place was packed and I was working my way between tables and was going between two large tables that each had a toddler sitting in the isle between the tables. They were sitting in one of those low wooden high chairs. You guessed it. I took them both out. My foot caught on one of the legs and I went sailing. I caught both chairs before they tipped over but managed to knock the crap out of both kids. Both of the toddlers were sufficiently terrorized enough that they hadn't had the time to start screaming. They both just looked at me.. the little girl had glasses on that were knocked askew and she was just staring at me with her horrified wide blue eyes. I apologized repeatedly and took off and about 10 feet later the screaming commenced. Oh. My. Goodness. I can't go anywhere. I trip all the time. I can only hope that no one knew me and I sure will not be going back there for a while. Maybe 10 years or so.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Racial Discrimination, Terrorists

During the 2008 election at a Philadelphia polling place two members of the Black Panthers stood outside by the door in their uniform, one had a night stick. They were intimidating to the voters. They were caught on film. Nothing has ever been done to either offender except that the leader, one Minister King Shabazz is not allowed near a polling place. The Justice Department lead by our own Eric Holder has put a stop to the career lawyers who recommended the case be tried and put a gag order on them as well. Now if I wore a white robe(sheet) with a red cross and a hood and plunked my butt ACROSS(not even in front of) from a polling place, I promise you I would be currently getting three hots and a cot in a jail somewhere. Please understand me I am against ALL forms of racial discrimination.

Years ago when we had a governor's race here in Louisiana between David Duke, an avowed member of the KKK and Edwin Edwards, who on national TV admitted to graft and corruption(rather proudly I might add)ran against each other. Well Edwards won and I happily voted for him. We are used to our crooks down here but we don't like racists at all. Well after Minister Shabazz was in the news they had him on TV news at a Philadelphia festival stating the following(this is the EXACT words) "I hate white people. All of them! Every last iota of a cracker, I hate him! You want freedom? You're going to have to kill some crackers! You're going to have kill some of their babies." Boy that makes me just warm and fuzzy. He is a member in good standing with the Black Panthers. If a white member of the KKK got on TV and said that Eric Holder would be wetting his drawers trying to find something to jail him on.
Michelle Obama gave the keynote address to the NAACP this last week. She was credited as talking against the Tea Party and that is untrue. That was entirely the NAACP leaders who spoke against the group. Michelle spoke about her Let's Move project on childhood obesity. She did speak about the inequalities by saying: "stubborn inequalities still persist -- in education and health, in income and wealth -- I think those founders would urge us to increase our intensity, and to increase our discipline and our focus and keep fighting for a better future for our children and our grandchildren"

I don't think she realizes that the very people she is speaking of have been taken care of by the government for so long that their desire to improve their lifestyle has been dampened. Down here it's not unusual to see 14,15, and 16 year old mothers(on their second child). They can't work because "I have to take care of my babies".
And going back to previous blogs by saying giving a group of people MY MONEY to equalize the inequality in income and wealth is not going to make said people jump up and get a job. What needs to be done is that the money given by the government needs to be attached to a work program. We need to develop a work ethic that is so very absent. Here in Louisiana a bill was introduced to attach welfare checks to a drug test. This would dump an untold amount of people off the welfare rolls. This is not prescribed medication but presence of illegal drugs that would be in question. Moot point anyway because it got voted down.

Mr. Obama came out on the news about the terrorist attacks in Uganda that killed multiple innocents watching the World Cup Soccer finals. He is quoted saying "What you’ve seen in some of the statements that have been made by these terrorist organizations is that they do not regard African life as valuable in and of itself. They see it as a potential place where you can carry out ideological battles that kill innocents without regard to long-term consequences for their short-term tactical gains." He also stated that ...Al-Qaeda is a racist organization that has no value for African life". Hello Al-Qaeda has no use for any race that does not value their way of life and worship. What does he think is happening over here to all races. We are fighting a war on terrorism here and abroad. Obama has consistantly avoided the use of the term 'war on terror'.
I pray for the safty and health of our President daily despite that fact that I don't agree with practically everything he stands for. My displeasure at his policies and where he is leading our country will be shown at the voting booth where as an American my voice will be heard.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Bad Hair Day #2 and ER Humor

I think it's karma or maybe my hair is in the wrong place at the very wrong time. Night before last I came to work sporting not so nice hair and nothing happened. What I mean was someone could have thrown up on my head and my hair wouldn't have looked worse. Tonight I came to work and was fairly comfortable with my hair color, style and cut. Jamie said she thought it looked nice and I had several other compliments from the in patient side of the hospital. I should have taken that as an omen and put on a shower cap. Jamie was catheterizing an elderly woman and due to the patient's size and anatomy she attempted once by herself and missed, placing the catheter in the vaginal vault. I came to help her by holding the patient's leg to make visualization easier. I bend down to make sure that I had appropriately positioned the part of her anatomy that was causing a problem and got slapped in the head with the catheter. The very same catheter that had previously been in her nether region. I just looked up at Jamie, who was a deep shade of red(in an effort not to laugh) The catheter was replaced with a new one and the procedure was performed without a problem. Jamie used a Clorox wipe to clean my hair. It really is pretty funny when you think about it. Maybe you have to be a nurse though, to find the humor. Things happen at work that would make a non medical person blush and we find great humor. One of my very best buddies came to work one night and commented that she had gas. She watched as a patient was taken from the first room to xray and knew that she would be gone for a while. The other nurse and I sat there as she backed her butt into the 'vacated' room, not realizing what she was about to do( I promise I would have stopped her if I had known.... well maybe I would have...ha). She bend over and "tooted" then walked out. The other nurse and I just stared at her in such a way that she realized that something was wrong. What she didn't know was that the patient had been accompanied by a relative who was still in the darkened room. I just put my head on the desk and nearly cried I was laughing so hard. Another time I was attempting to force activated charcoal into a small tube that had been inserted into a patient's stomach via his nose. The patient had overdosed on drugs and the charcoal is used to (simplified) soak up all the loose pills so that the pill fragments can be carried out of the body. Faye warned me that I was squeezing the tube too hard and that it might burst. The next thing I know Faye is covered in liquid charcoal from her head to her waist and I didn't have a thing on me. Honest to God I didn't know what to do. "Oops" just doesn't seem enough. I frequently will warn a patient prior to giving a shot by saying "BIG STICK" while I am injecting. Linda one time walked into the room of a very heavy patient and after wiping the injection site on her butt, said to the patient "BIG BUTT". Talk about a Freudian slip. She refused to return to the ER till the patient had been discharged. Stay tuned, in the next few days I am going to post a list of our most mispronounced words that we hear in the ER.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Health Care and Donald Berwick... It's Coming and You Were Warned

I will make an earnest effort to stop blogging about politics for the next few weeks but so much has happened that I have just had to comment. This is going to be short because I have gone over this ad nauseum in past blogs. We are facing health care rationing. I'm not talking about when your insurance company gives you a list of the Doctors that are on your specific plan or when you have to call and pre-cert a major test or procedure(by the way I have NEVER been denied any procedure that my doctor wanted me to have.) I am talking about real honest to God rationing like they have in England. King Barack has appointed Donald Berwick as the Head of Medicaid and Medicare services. Well, you may think, this has nothing to do with me because I have Aetna, Blue Cross or whatever insurance coverage. Get real. This man will affect the way that ALL insurance companies will function because where medicaid and medicare go the others have to follow. I have mega complaints about the corruption within the medicaid system. For instance just last week we had a patient come in with Blue Max(good coverage) and a medicaid card. This is not a rarity, it happens all the time. I have also questioned why a 98 year old nursing home resident that is ravaged by disease, bed sores, contractions,and Alzheimer's is being rigorously treated for his or her heart attack. I feel that we need a huge over haul but this man will impact us in our choices and the length of time that we get care for treatable diseases. I want to be able to choose what I want done when I am 98 even though my insurance wants to just let me go or worse yet euthanize me(you think this is far fetched...it's coming. I promise you that is on the horizon). I do not want the government involved in my choices or my health. I want them to deal with the corruption only. Medicaid and Medicare are the governments babies they need to police their own agencies before they try to save money by delaying or denying care.

NASA and the Presidential Directive

NASA's new directive is to make Muslims feel better about themselves. Talk about doing what no man has done before. Wait, killing Americans make radical Muslims feel better soooo are we going to be giving them information to assist them to do that or will we be screening the Muslims that we teach and make sure we only get gentle pro-American Muslims?

NASA administrator Charles Bolden stated that he had three directives from President Obama: 1) to re-inspire children to encourage science and math interest(this is noble and very pro-American)2)to expand our international relationships(okay we do well with Russia on this one) 3)the most important one is to reach out to the Muslim world and help them feel better about their historic contribution to science, math and engineering.

The Islamic peoples have contributed vast amounts of knowledge to the world from Calid in the 7th century to Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor an astronaut and orthopedic surgeon who has already spent time on the International Space Station. Their scientific and artistic endeavors have indeed made the world a richer place. HOWEVER there is a significant group of radicals within their community that would consider their greatest accomplishment the total annihilation of America. So the question should be asked is why waste NASA's time doing a PR mission when we need to be back in space and headed to the great unknown. Is this just a feel good mission of Admin. Bolden or is he going to be sharing NASA secret "stuff"? It makes me very uncomfortable giving information to a group of people who hold us in such disdain.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Yet More Political Insites

YOU HANG TOUGH GOVERNOR BREWER!!! The Mexican governors did not want to meet for the governors conference in Arizona because of the new law. She canceled the meeting. At least she canceled the meeting in her state. California, New Mexico and Texas(by abstaining from comment) have completely ignored that it was the Mexican governors that refused to participate in Arizona. Since when do we not stand behind our own. United we stand. Does that sound familiar? For all you idiots out there who think that Arizona's law is too tough on illegal immigration and you side with poor pitiful Mexico... you need to take a trip into Mexico, illegally, and see what happens to you. The Mexican Government treatment of illegal aliens makes Arizona's law look like a trip to a spa.

And for the naive and pure of heart get your head out of the sand and pay attention. This sudden love for all of our illegal alien brothers and sisters by team Obama has nothing to do with kindness on their part and EVERYTHING to do with the Hispanic vote in November. So in order for Team Obama to gain a block of votes he wants the WORKING tax payers to assume the care and feeding of another 15 million people.

I sound like I have a problem with the Hispanic race. I don't. I have worked side by side with Hispanics for the past 25 years. I enjoy friendships with those who have their roots strongly south of our border. I have a huge problem with ANYONE coming over our border illegally and being welcomed with open arms by our government. If I have hurt any of my Hispanic friends and acquaintances I am sorry but I feel strongly that we have laws for a reason. I do not want amnesty for those who are here illegally. You go home and apply to enter our country... the right way.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy Fourth of July

They fought for freedom to escape the control of a king. They wanted oppressors out of their lives. They crafted a document that spelled out exactly what kind of government they wanted understanding that there had to be a set of rules to guide the colonies. The common people fought and died for freedom to be able to control their lives. We have gotten used to those freedoms and haven't paid attention as they have slipped slowly away. There are those who are in a constant state of denial and don't see that our beloved country is being eroded by the government that is supposed to serve us. God Bless our country and bless those who have awakened and are fighting to preserve our freedom from government control.
We the people....

Friday, July 2, 2010

Jobs in America

Just a short blog on something I heard on the news today. Nancy Pelosi(D-California,Speaker of the House)made the comment that to continue unemployment is good for the country because it is proven to be the best thing to stimulate the economy. This is sort of like when I would hire my kids to do work around the house. They got spending money but it still came out of my pocket. Later in the afternoon they were interviewing an apple farmer in the northwest who was having to go out of the country to hire workers and paying them 11.00 an hour to pick apples. A well dressed man(can't remember who he was representing but it had something to do with unions and workers) said the reason the farmer can't get local people is that he is not paying an appropriate salary commensurate with the job. IT'S PICKING FREEKING APPLES NOT BRAIN SURGERY!! What the problem seems to be is that we have a country of lazy people who expect to be taken care of and who are happier living on unemployment then actually getting out and working. 11$ is not much but working at 40 hours a week amounts to 440$ per week and 1760$ per month or 22880.00 a year. Not including overtime. I had someone ask me if I would work for that. The answer is yes I would if it meant help feeding my family and maintaining my self respect. It's not a career choice but along with food stamps, medicaid and other government handouts that this would qualify me to get, then I could do this until something better came along or the economy improved. But then I can't judge others by what I would do. I tend do be a go-getter when it comes to working. I would be an apple picking fool and making overtime. Something to think about. Our government has created generations of people who expect something for nothing.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Obamas Speech on Immigration 7/1/10

Get ready, Obama is preparing the way for grandfathering in the 11 million illegal aliens that are living here. He is giving an impassioned speech by a listing of all the immigrants in the past that have contributed to the United States like Einstein and Carnegie. The only problem with this is that they were LEGAL IMMIGRANTS. They came here the LEGAL way not over the border with their drugs and guns. I am watching this live news cast and I am amazed at Obama's supercilious attitude. He is an arrogant ass. Just watching this is raising my blood pressure. He NEEDS the Latino vote and that is what this is all about. He is talking about the shadow people who work, save, and are not breaking the law. THEY ARE BREAKING THE LAW YOU JACKASS. THEY ARE HERE ILLEGALLY. All they have to do is go the legal route and come in like they are supposed to. Hey Barack, talk about the welfare, the medical care, the free education that these wonderful shadow people and all their friends that they are harboring are getting. Come sit in an Emergency Room in any of the border states and see all the FREE care that is being given. You Mr. Obama are making a mockery of our laws by not insisting the law be followed that is on the books. He is talking about how we cannot find the ability to deport 11 million illegal aliens. We don't have the money, the staff..blah,blah,blah. Well hire people, use the tarp. Get rid of the TEMPORARY government workers doing the census that is inflating your work reports. He is saying that the illegal aliens must register and start on the legal path towards citizenship. Oh yes, and while in that line sign up for your food stamps, medicaid, and all the wonderful benefits that are for OUR CITIZENS.

He says that the majority of Americans want to move this forward.. where is he getting his statistics? Is he dragging this out of his butt? He is trying to paint the Republicans into a corner on this. Well listen up.. anyone who votes for this crap is not listening to the American voting public.

Anyone who doesn't recognize this ridiculous speech as what it plainly is(a payback to the Latinos who voted him in office) is living in la-la land and apparently has a lot more money to give away then I do.
As an aside, has anyone ever noticed how when giving a speech he looks down his nose a lot, I find it very, very irritating.

CLOSE OUR BORDERS AND SEND THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS BACK FROM WHERE THEY CAME.
Posted by Debbie Higginbotham at 8:19 AM

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Transparency

Our President promised us transparency. When I think of the term transparency in relation to actions it means that the action and outcome of said action are obvious. The past few weeks I think he has kept his promise in a manner of speaking. Let's review two things that have been happening in the news.

The Oil gush off the coast of Louisiana is a major disaster in more ways than one. The effects are not only environmentally horrific but economically as well. Our President has been pushing a very green agenda since his campaign. In March he did an about face and angered the left by proposing to open huge areas of American coastlines to oil and natural gas exploration. Now I'm am not into conspiracy theory stuff but it was a huge coincidence and damn convenient for the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon. Obama was probably doing a happy dance in the oval office. That and his golf game would explain why he has taken so long to do what little he has done. He made the 'right' happy by his proposal of off shore drilling then the explosion happened and he then said there would be no further deep water drilling for six months. Now the 'left' is happy. Louisiana did what was expected and went to court and the decision was against the White House. Now the White House is seeking an injunction against the Louisiana ruling but the WH will more than likely lose. Obama is still happy and has kept his butt firmly on the fence. He can go on TV and look appropriately sober and say we have tried to protect the environment but got overruled.

Illegal Aliens and Arizona
Obama owes a tremendous debt to the Latinos for his election and Arizona just purely put his back up. He can't bring Gov. Brewer under control by criticizing her to the press and since we do have an immigration LAW that is not being enforced by Washington, he has a problem. It also hurts that 70% of the American people support what Arizona is proposing to do. Now, the fact that a majority of Americans are against what BO(Barack Obama) is doing is not going to stop him(please remember Obama care) but he does have an image problem. If this goes to court his administration is going to look really really stupid because they are not enforcing the laws that are in place already. What is his solution? He hedged his bets again and is very transparent (at least to me)by naming Harold Hurtt, a former police chief in Houston and Phoenix,as the new director for the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Office. Director Hurtt is a firm supporter of 'sanctuary city' policies which goes against the law of the land. Can this man actually support a law that he has no respect for?? This is a gift to the Latinos from BO. I swear that Obama will go down as one of the worst presidents this country has ever seen.. he is even worse than Jimmy Carter, and that is saying something.
.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

She is Still HOT

First of all Happy Father's Day to all those fathers out there. I kinda struck out when it came to fathers but I have been blessed to know some awesome dads, so A BIG SHOUT OUT TO DADS.
Now along the same vein, I sort of forgot that this was Father's Day till this morning at 6am when Troy asked me to call his wife to remind her that it was Father's Day and to give her time to get up and get a card(in case she forgot)and to prepare something special. Somehow I refrained from that suggestion(you owe me Jeana). I took off early to go to Walmart to get a card and some gifts. Before I tell you the rest of the story I want all my male readers to just be pea-green with jealousy at all the great gifts I got Stanley. He got Pepperidge Farm cookies(two different kinds!!)shortbread cookies, AA batteries, the movie Avatar,a card and(this is the best)... a SHAMWOW. It was in the checkout aisle and I just couldn't resist(this should end all wonder as to why I don't have any money).
During my shopping foray I was contemplating cards and a gentleman approached me and asked if he could have my advice. Below is the conversation.

Man: Ma'am can I ask you to give me some advice about socks.
Me: Sure(I was pretty much ignoring him and was looking at cards) The young gentleman wandered off and was gone for about 10 minutes and then came back.
Man:(holding a 6 pack of ankle socks with pastel rings around the ankle part) ummm are these socks that a woman would wear
Me: sure.
Man: do you wear these kind?
Me: yup, all the time.

At this point I should have realized that I was temping this poor man beyond all reason. I think he was breathing just alittle more deeply... not quite panting but really really close.

Man: umm do you have bunions?
Me: (looking up at him finally and noting that he was looking at my feet) Nope, no bunions.
Man: Do your feet hurt?
Me: Nope my feet feel great!(actually they hurt so freeking bad it felt like I was walking on my ankles)
Man: Umm I'm doing a study for ummm school and can I take a picture of your feet, with ummmmm no shoes and socks on.
Me: ummmmm let me think.....ahhhh no.
Man: ahh okay you sure?? It's a project?? I be quick.
Me: I'm really sure but thanks anyway.
All in all I feel pretty guilty about this. He probably caught sight of my cankles(remember that's where your calf flows into your ankle) hanging over my ankle socks and was driven by cankle lust. I need to be more careful in the future... he did follow me thru the store at a discreet distance. It's a burden at times to be an object of lust.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Becky Story

My friend Christy called me yesterday with concerns about her son. She gave me the symptoms and I suggested that she go to the hospital because it sounded like he might be having appendicitis. He was admitted but thus far no surgery yet. It reminded me of a Becky story. She was about 3 or 4 and had just finished her Christmas program at Kinder Care in College Station, Texas. As we were walking out to the car she complained that her "leg hurt her stomach". What she was telling me was that when she walked and her right heel hit the ground it made her right side hurt. I was in charge of the emergency department at a Humana hospital and was(and still am) a capable nurse but I was a mother first. What that means is I immediately went into denial. Nothing could be wrong with my baby. I called Rosa the nurse on duty that night and told her the symptoms.. which included lower right side rebound tenderness and nausea. She tsk-tsked me and said "bring her in". We went to the ER, her white count was 21 thousand and she was examined by Dr. Bohne, a wonderful general surgeon. He admitted her and decided to wait till the morning before he made the decision to operate. I was frantic because Stan was out of town and despite my competence, I did not do sickness well when it involved my babies. Starting the IV (or IB as Becky called it) was an event that took 5 of us. Becky did NOT want that IV. The hospital was not geared for pediatrics so we put her in an adult gown and put her in a bed. She was started on antibiotics and we waited out the night. In the morning her pain went away and her white count was normal. You have to remember this was before CT and MRI scans. Stan was on his way in but hadn't made it yet. Becky was having the time of her life ringing the nurse call button, getting ice cream, and raising and lowering the head of the bed. As much as she didn't want the "IB" to begin with, she refused with big tears to let us take it out till her daddy got there. He walked into the room as she was bare butt in the air, with her hand down by the bed controls, making the head of the bed go up and down. He announced his presence and she flopped over on her back and looked at him with her big eyes(that she had managed to squeeze tears from) and said weakly "hey daddy, I been sooooo sick. I hab a IB". It was pitiful but the acting job was great. Stan made all the appropriate comments all the while trying not to laugh. She then looks at him with her wet eyes and said "you brung a present to me?" We were allowed to take her IV out, she thanked all the nurses.."tank you so berry much for the ice cream" and we went home with her appendix intact. She was such a drama queen when she was young and I wouldn't take anything for the wonderful memories that she has given me. I love you sweetheart.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Another Wasted Day, Demi and the Ben and Jerry's

I have been laid low by the 'funk' for over a month. Don't know what it is but I have been wheezing, coughing, sneezing, running a fever, and having a morning stuffy nose. Okay even the most non-medical person recognizes that this looks like allergies but I have never had allergies except to cats. I have felt like crap with the energy of a limp noodle. I mopped the floor yesterday and I was worn out afterwards. The most awesome nurse practitioner Aimee Guidry (in practice with the equally awesome Kayla Sonnier RN,FNP) felt I had pneumonia and has dosed me with antibiotics. I am faithfully taking them and still have a wheezing cough but no fever AND thanks to the antibiotic I now have diarrhea. I know, I know, to much information but it's my blog. For the last month on my days off I have pretty much sat on my ample butt and felt sorry for myself. I have logged on tremendous time on the computer and have become hugely addicted to face book. My farm is doing well as is my tropical island(Farmville and Tropical Isle) and I am haphazardly playing at Sorority(thank you so very much Becky!!) I am transfixed with others lives as I read through each comment. I have got to stop, this is a crazy waste of time!!

I managed to go get my tires changed today and stop at the store. I had the 'wants' of some sushi and Albertson's has the best California rolls, but not today. I have been so good on my diet and with the CRUSHING disappointment of no sushi I immediately went to the ice cream section and got some Ben and Jerry's "everything but the..." flavored ice cream. Can we say eating disorder. Anyway I took my ice cream, Swifter stuff and my lettuce and came home. I got a phone call after unpacking the groceries and of course promptly forgot about putting everything away. I was worn out from talking and plopped my butt into my chair to rest up so that I could take a nap later before work. Demi, the wonder dog, was on the kitchen couch looking out the window at the birds(I thought). She came walking into the living room about 15 minutes later with the pint sized ice cream container completely on her muzzle. I wish I had a camera. She stretched out on the floor and used her paws to move the container around and off her face. Her white muzzle was chocolate covered and she looked very, very pleased with herself. I called the vet to find out if a pint of mostly chocolate ice cream would hurt her and was instructed to 'watch her'. Well she saved me about 1000 calories and made me smile. She is currently on the floor, on her back with her front legs straight in the air. I would be concerned but that is her favorite position after the curled-in-a-ball-on-the-bed one that she assumes when sleeping with me. I will be posting pictures and a synopsis of the dance performance that Joshua's school did on June 5th at a later date. Becky and Shane have been having the best time hosting "Hollywood" at their house these last few weeks. Their property is being used as a site in a movie and that's all I can say. I think it's supposed to be a secret. Big hug to my 10 readers and keep the prayers coming for the oil crisis. We are being hurt in such a big way.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Home, Health, National News and Israel. It Just Keeps Getting Worse

HOME FRONT NEWS: I was up at 3 am this morning because I have had a lingering cough related to an unending allergy. My nose is stuffy and then I sniff and cough. Stan is NOT happy with my early morning noises. To make matters worse my sense of smell is gone. I can breathe thru my nose but realized yesterday that I can't smell anything. Nothing smells bad..which is advantageous at work considering the great number of nasty smells we come in contact with on a regular basis. But on the other side nothing smells good either.

HEALTH CARE NEWS: Canada is now reevaluating their national health care because it is burying their country in debt. Well DUH. We are headed in exactly the same place. Current polls are indicating that 60% of people are in favor of a repeal of the Obamacare debacle. We are on a steep slippery slope to socialism and we are currently reaching unsustainable financial deficits. Like Margaret Thatcher said "socialism is wonderful until you run out of other people's money". BO our POTUS is ruining our country and we STILL have people who think he is the best thing since mashed potatoes. WAKE UP AMERICA.

NATIONAL NEWS: We are on day 44 of the worst disaster this country has faced. The oil leak(leak?? what a joke)is apparently confounding the experts. All the greatest minds allegedly are dealing with this disaster and Obama is fully in charge and states he takes full responsibility for the problem. Now before the spill is stanched and cleaned, Eric Holder is talking about law suits. If I were BP I think that faced with that I would keep secret the 'fix' until I got immunity from prosecution. But Barack is LARGE AND IN CHARGE and he knows best. They have apparently run through all of our "experts" and have consulted with James Cameron the movie director. You see, he thinks out of the box and did do the Titanic which makes him an expert for all things underwater. I am in awe of the thought process going on here. Where is Flipper and Lloyd Bridges when we need them(referring to the shows Flipper and Sea Hunt to those to young to know the reference). Now, I will eat my words in this blog if good old James can actually fix this mess. Well, whatever, he at least will get a movie deal out of the contact.

Louisiana has such a delicate ecosystem and we will suffer terrible losses no matter what happens. My prayers continue for a rapid solution.

Final thought on the news for the day. We MUST support Israel.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Geography

Dear Janet Napolitano,

It's the GULF OF MEXICO, not "that ocean" you absolute dumb ass. I am amazed with constant examples of Napolitano's ineptitude that people actually think that Sarah Palin is dumb.

Sincerely,
Debbie

P.S. I did NOT vote for Obama

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Say What????

I swear that nothing in Washington should surprise me but it often catches me off guard when I laugh out loud at the news. If you read my blogs then you know how I stand with the Arizona illegal immigration issue. In case you don't want to read my blogs then let me sum up my feelings. YOU GO ARIZONA!!!!! Ya'all up north don't have a clue about what it is like down in Texas and Arizona. Here in Louisiana we have FREQUENT visitors to the ER who can't speak English and who are not papered BUT they have a baby who was born here thus they get to stay and get state benefits...but I digress. Sorry. Okay, well Obama and his ilk all have their collective panties in a twist because of this Arizona law. They have come strongly against it and are threatening all kinds of legal issue with the state. I was watching the news when Eric Holder(the Attorney General for those of you who are still watching "Friends" reruns instead of the news) admitted that he hadn't read the TEN PAGE law. He is threatening intervention on a law that he hasn't read. What a moron. I was giggling at how stupid he is(but he gets points for being honest) but was positively ROLLING around laughing at Janet Napolitano( she is the head of Homeland Security)when she got on TV SEVERAL times talking against the law when McCain asked her if she had read the 10 page bill and she stammered around and said ahhh... no not yet but she clarified that it was something that she wouldn't support anyway. How do you know stupid, you haven't read it. Will someone PLEASE fire her. She is beyond inept. Then Michael Posner the Assistant Secretary of the State apologized to CHINA (of all countries) during a discussion on human rights that was held in Washington last week. He was citing the Arizona law as a problem with racial profiling and our own problematic issues with human rights. Well Phillip J. Crowley, secretary of the Bureau of Public Affairs, came out in defense of Mr. Posner stating he was in fact standing up for our country explaining how debate is handled in a civil society. With friends like that we don't need enemies. But it is important to note that they have not read the law either! Come on guys it's ten pages not 2000. Read the law before you comment. Better yet, don't read it, it just makes you look even more stupid and provides me with something to laugh at.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Not Me or It's George's Fault

Remember as a child when you did something wrong? Remember when your mom asked you "who did that?" the answer was almost always 'not me.' As a parent I thought I had a third child named Not Me. Once I came upon a hole in the curtain that was still smoldering(from a lighter... he was 6)and when questioned Josh looked at me and said "it wasn't me". When I found the lighter on his person he gave me a look of such perplexity that I wondered if 'Not Me' had put the lighter in his pocket. When we grow, providing we have had appropriate parenting,(and we are not sociopaths) the need to blame others for our mistakes was left in childhood. Don't get me wrong when you really screw up you revert back to 6 years old and try to figure a way out but well adjusted adults usually 'man up' and shoulder the blame. I used to tell my kids that if you want to do something make sure you understand that "if you do the crime you're going to do the time."

I am about sick and tired of the current administration blaming Bush for everything that is going wrong with the country. I was less than pleased(understatement) when the first TARP was initiated by Bush. Obama has raised the deficit to unimaginable heights and IS STILL BLAMING GEORGE BUSH. Obamacare was forced through and jammed down our throats because it was going to 'pay for itself' Well as of yesterday the 'savings' have been eaten up by amounts not figured in( more or less administrative costs among other things)Every time I hear Obama go off on a 'NOT ME' tangent I want to call him up and tell him that we all are tired of that excuse. You are a big boy now Barack, it's time to understand that this is all about you and your big government agenda. At any time you could have put the brakes on the out of control government spending but you just kept it up and whenever possible you blamed George. Well I miss George. Right or wrong, George was a MAN and he took responsibility for his actions.

Writing this made me realize that Obama gives me gas. It's his fault that I get so upset at the news that my blood pressure raises. I'm missing hair because when he starts in lecturing I start yanking my locks in frustration. He gives me a headache, heartache, and causes me unbelievable worry about the direction he is taking my beloved country. Given enough thought I can blame him for my virus I had last week, my broken fingernail, the rude people that come into the ER, my hemorrhoid, bad vision, saggy butt, fat knees and my dog's worms. I can blame him for my messy house, dirty car, dead plants, dust bunnies and rust in my water. The sad thing is if you really LISTEN to what he says it reminds me of a child (he can't take criticism and all but name calls people who oppose him) This 'child' controls our country.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

May 12, 2010

It's been eight years since my mom died. She died on Mother's Day in 2002. I will never forget that morning. I left work and got in my car and was overcome with such a conviction that my mom would not last the day. She was in the hospital but due for release. I called the nursing unit and talked to the nurse and she assured me that she was doing well. She was in the heart unit because they didn't have a step down bed for her yet but allowed her visitors like a regular room. I was so sure that she was leaving me that I was in tears and nothing that the nurse could say would convince me otherwise. I asked her to tell mom that I loved her so much and that she was the very best mom anyone could have. I said other things that the nurse had to ask me to repeat because of my tears. I told the nurse. Mom is going to die today I just know it. I am not psychic but I KNEW. At work that night my sister called me and I was sitting between Linda and Faye and when I heard her voice I knew that she was gone. I didn't get to say good bye. I put my head on the desk and cried. I can only hope that the nurse passed on my message. There were so many things that I didn't get a chance to say. So much love that I wasn't able to show and so many items that I needed to ask her about. I was so selfish in my desire to keep her. She woke up from a nap at about 7pm and told the nurse that Jesus was going to take her home that night. My sister Barb came to be with her and pray with her till the end. Jesus called her home but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish for one more hug, one more kiss, one more piece of advice. At times I have dreamed about her and they are so real. She has 'visited' me in my dreams and provided comfort when I have needed it most. Logically I know that my dreams are a product of my over active imagination but who am I to deny what God can do. Mom, watch over your children and their offspring. I know that you are in a better place but I miss you each and every day.

You Can't Fix Stupid

That saying is something I have heard for years. It's pretty insulting but fairly apt today. Every time I turn on the news I am reminded that maybe it isn't the 'stupid' that is the problem but the out and out ignorance. I listened to our President give a commencement speech where he talked about the problems with all the electronic 'goodies' that we have at our fingertips. He pleaded ignorance about such things but apparently doesn't recall that he was attached to his Blackberry during the election and had to be forced to give it up. What he expounded on was the fact that with the ease of our minute to minute communication that unfounded facts can be disseminated. It's pretty hard for the White House to be able to keep up with the flood of information that somehow gets out there to the peons. It is true that there is ridiculous information being put out as fact. What is IGNORANT is that people take everything they read as fact and not bother to check out the truth of the matter. The government is seriously talking about getting involved in regulating the Internet. Isn't that just wonderful. That folks is NOT a rumor or unfounded. I am in awe of people that don't READ, listen to more than one news channel, and believe everything that Obama says without really listening. Last night I was watching Glen Beck and he was talking about the new Supreme Court nominee Kagan. He showed a film clip of an interview question about citizens who are suspected of terrorist ties. She believes that people can be picked up and held basically till proven Innocent... however long that takes. Don't get me wrong I believe in the harshest punishment for home grown terrorists but with that mandate they could pick up ANYONE for any reason and there wouldn't be a damn thing you can do. Reminds me of Hitler's Germany and the SS. Who would determine who was an enemy of the State? Quite frankly at this current time anyone who doesn't believe in what the current administration is putting out could be considered an enemy. Far fetched..maybe, maybe not. Watch the news. It is scary. Also on Beck he was talking about the First Amendment. I can't wait to see the opposing news networks and pundits after last nights show because he recommended reading Mein Kampf. What was put out is that you need to KNOW everything that is out there to be able to understand what is happening today. He did say the Mein Kampf was written by idiots but he is right. We limit ourselves severely when we are ignorant of opposing ideas. I believe in the Tea Party. Why, because I believe that our government is getting so big it will come to a point when YOU ALL finally understand it will be to late to change. The events that I have attended have been orderly, informative and AMERICAN. What is happening is that there are outsiders that are attending that have an agenda to create a situation that puts the party in a bad light. Those who are IGNORANT will buy that crap and talk about how the TEA party members are moving towards violent demonstration. The Tea Party scares the crap out of the Republican and Democratic parties because those in office are going to be held to a higher standard than ever before.