Today is my birthday. I'm seventy and I am in wonder of what the years have taught me. There have been so many changes both good and bad. Through it all I still remain hopeful for myself and others. I still have love in my heart and I still have goals to meet.
I have a wonderful job with a crew of the best nurses who can still teach this old RN something. I told my boss today that I want to be like that old surgical nurse still working at 95. She responded with laugh emojis and the word "goals".
I am losing weight thanks to the gastric sleeve but I am no longer apologizing for my choice. Whatever works is my new moto. I will never get into a bikini again but at least I can move and function to the best of my ability. As far as the bikini goes who knows?. Age has given me a distinct lack of embarrassment for my choices. I am not at the wearing-slippers-to-Walmart stage but I shop without wigs and makeup. I sometimes wear the same thing over and over. My daughter often asks me if I don't have something else to wear. I do, I really have a closet full but I am lazy and prone to the comfort of something familiar. Weight loss is improving me in that area. Becky has passed down bags of clothes for me to wear and she has excellent taste.
My memory is fairly good although I still forget that I have told someone something...so sue me. I am crap with names. But this is nothing new. When I was married the first time. I took my new husband to a party with hospital bigwigs. I stated this is my husband, turned to look at him and promptly forgot his name. He said Steven Hart to which I responded " oh yes that's his name". My neighbor has told me that I am frequently distracted and that causes me to forget. I like that so I put everything in my phone and if I lose my phone I will be in deep doodoo. I use my car GPS to get to work because I use the travel time to talk to people to ease the boredom of the drive. I will miss my turn EVERY TIME unless I get the verbal cue to turn.
The gene for housekeeping is not in my makeup. I am an abysmal housekeeper unless company is coming. I will occasionally get up and do the basics and while that should be reward enough I really want someone to pop up and scream GOOD JOB each time I dust. I need immediate feedback. My clothes are clean and my dishes done but I am messy. I love it when I pick up and put things away but don't love it enough to do it all the time. I love a clean tidy house I really do but I work and I am tired when I get off. Plus I have to catch up on reality shows I have missed. I am slowly decluttering which means I am throwing away stuff I haven't used in a year or making trips to Goodwill. My daughter is a good housekeeper I wish I could have the same umph that she does.
I have been asked after I lose weight if I will date. My answer is always the same. No. I have said in a previous blog from years ago that I would have to pass out a disclaimer card stating that while I do have my own teeth other parts are not real. My wigs, I love my wigs. I have too many but that didn't stop me from ordering another one for my 70th birthday in a silver grey. I have hair nearly to my shoulders and I get to pin it up and slap a wig on and my hair looks perfect without the trouble. My hair is dirty brown/blond. If it was grey or white I might never wear another wig. I get so many compliments on my grey and white wigs. I have had cataract surgery and a left hip replacement. In 2003 I had a bilateral mastectomy because of cancer and have implants. I may, in the future have my implants removed and just get tattooed across my chest. I wear contacts every once in a while because I have the cutest rhinestone readers otherwise I am in my glasses. I sometimes wear false eyelashes, but who doesn't wish they had longer lashes?. I have my own nails but have discovered the joy of pop on nails. Name a color and I probably have it. I rarely shave my legs. I did shave for surgery but forgot the backs. I have 2 inch hair on the back of my legs. I occasionally see my doctor who has a spa and get fillers for my lips and creases in my face. When I lose all my weight will be paying him for an overhaul. He can do laser work to get rid of what ever sagging facial issues I have. He can take my own fat and put it in the areas that need "plumping" I can't wait. I really don't see a need to grow old gracefully if I can soften up the lines that age has created. I am doing it for me and no one else. I may even start to shave my legs again. I really don't need a man in my life unless he is gay. I like to go out to dinner and a movie on occasion and someone to come over and have dinner at my house. Oh, scratch that, then I would have to clean. I don't want to invest whatever time I am granted on this earth in someone other than my family.
I am still sarcastic and have a odd sense of humor. I have little use for idiots and getting older has made that worse. What I am thinking can be seen on my face and incase you missed what my face says, my mouth will open up and give you a verbal reading. My filter is getting mighty slim.
Just when we think we have seen and heard everything, life up and hands you an emotional or physical curve ball. Age has given me a greater ability to roll with the punches. Not to say that I can't be hurt because I have been. I have been devastated at times. I keep going because like my mom I have a stronger faith and my belief in God is inviolate. I am saved bless God.
I am 70 years old and I have learned that I like myself. It took me a while but I really do like me. I have some growing up to do because I have a side to me that is still 10 years old and she can be a hot mess, but she is fun. I like being a grandmother and love the fact that my granddaughter Aster Leigh cries when I leave my daughter's house. She will stop doing that in the too near future but for now I relish the genuine tears for missing me. I love all my grands and love the fact that I see so much of my son and daughter in their children.
I can be irritating, repetitive, sarcastic, funny, short tempered, tearful, sad, happy, insecure, talkative, angry, dramatic and a host of other descriptions that I can think of. I'm 70 get over it.
