Potty Etiquette or Being 59 in a Public Bathroom

I remember the days when my mom would make me stand up on the toilet lids of a public bathroom and squat over the john. I was 3. I am now nearly 60 and I haven't squatted over anything in more years than I can count. Arthritis, weight and bad knees have made me adjust to the lessons my mama taught me. For years I carried a small spritz bottle of Clorox and water and I would just spritz the seat to clean it and sit down to meditate. I had to stop that habit when a year or so back after I had cleaned the seat, sat down, took care of business and two hours later had the worse butt rash. I, being slow on the uptake, didn't immediately equate the rash with the Clorox solution. It took a second round and me waking up in the middle of the night with the worse burning butt you can imagine. I still didn't realize what was wrong with me till I used a mirror to view my backside and low and behold there was a red rashy imprint of a toilet seat on my butt and the back of my legs. I am only so tall and my backside is of a size that when I squat over the toilet, I still come in contact with the seat so I figure I might as well be comfortable and I sit. Now I wipe the seat down use the paper thingy over the back of the toilet and hope for the best. Now to the women who think nothing of peeing all over the seat and leaving the mess: you are classless, tasteless, and taught manners by zoo keepers. When you flush(that's assuming you do... and often you don't) take a glance at the seat and WIPE YOUR MESS. I happened to use a public bathroom the other day and they were out of paper thingies and I swiped without checking closely as I was already at the cross-the-legs point and I sat down and hit the only spot I missed. Man I just hate that. I was already feeling pee cooties scurry up my nether regions. The woman who just left that john was still out side washing her hands(go figure... she will pee on the seat but washes her hands) when I loudly said "I wish to hell people would LEARN not to pee on the seats or else clean up their mess" followed up by " I sure hope the woman who was here last doesn't have any DISEASES." She left in a huff and when I got out another witness laughed and said "Well you told her". My solution is to never use a public bathroom but with age and lack of control(I am just sure I have had a Kegal stroke... but that is for another blog) I have to go when I have to go.+