Demi died last night after I left for work. I stayed as long as I could with her because she rarely left my side when I needed her and I felt that I could do no less. She was able to slowly walk and made her way into the guest bathroom to lay on the rug in there, I think to be away from us. Stan and I were both crying and I wonder if that bothered her. I knelt down with her and held her head in my hands and let her breathe my breath as I told her how much I loved her and how much I was going to miss her. She was not focused on my face and I realized that she couldn't see. She rested her head against my hands and relaxed. Stan said that after I left that he couldn't leave her alone so he got a book and put the lid down on the toilet to sit with her and pet her so that she wouldn't go alone. He said it wasn't long after that she had a seizure, relaxed and stopped breathing. He took her to the back yard and buried her near the Fig tree that he had planted. I cannot express the grief that I am feeling over the loss of my sweet Demi-doo and wonder how I will sleep without her.
Demi was my son's dog purchased for his birthday many years ago and came to live with us because he couldn't keep her where he was living. I didn't put up much of a fight because I adored her. He had trained her to hand commands and she was generally a very obedient dog. He also trained her to sleep whenever he slept and so she fit in to my odd night hours. Whenever I would come in after work in the morning she would eat, go out, then come in and race to the hall by my bedroom and wait for me. All I had to say was "bed" and she would race into my room and hop up on her side of the bed and settle in. When I would get in she would press her forehead against my cheek or neck and press as hard as she could while trying to lick me. It was a ritual with her. I am so going to miss that. For all that she loved me she still loved Joshua more. Stan would hear him drive up and tell her " your boy is here" and she would race to the door to greet him. She love to ride in the car and both of us would take her to the store, the bank, or just to run errands. She was the princess and we were her subjects.
While at work last night my mind kept coming back to the single question of why do we put ourselves thru this grief to own and love a pet that has a life expectancy of less than 12 years? The only thing I can come up with is that a dog is love. They are unconditionally your friend and protector for the cost of a dry bed and food. They give us so very much for so very little. I think that God put dogs on this earth and in the path of man to teach us humanity, devotion, loyalty, and unconditional love. They are sort of like furry heavenly emissaries sent to fill the empty spots in our hearts that we did not even know needed filling.
I believe that when I die that Demi will be there waiting for me along with a host of other dogs that I have loved and lost. She will be waiting across that Rainbow Bridge and when it is my time she will come racing across the field to greet me and show me the way to heaven.
