Saturday, December 3, 2011

The Safety of Our Young

Mostly I blog for just me. I write about what I am feeling sort of like an open diary. This is not my usual post and it was difficult to compose. I just know that our children are in trouble and more so now than ever before. Please leave a comment at the end.

During the time I worked for Humana Hospital in College Station, Texas I was the manager of the Emergency Department. If you can specialize in something other than the running of a department mine would have been in the area of child abuse/molestation. The hospital allowed me to lecture multiple times on the prevention and identification of molestation. I don't think that much has changed in the 25 years since I have been there except that there continues to be a group of people who believe that it is okay to have sex with a child. In all the years that I studied and read up the pathology of the pedophile it still unnerved me and could send me into a rage like nothing else. I haven't stayed current in my reading but back then, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 7 boys would be molested by the time they reached 18 years of age. I would imagine that given our current society and loosening of our morals that the number is probably now 1 in 4 of all children. I am not speaking of what then was called the undifferentiated pedophile who selects children by their availability and usually the outcome is death. What I am talking about are the monsters who live next door, who pastor our Churches, who coach our sports teams, who teach in schools, who are scout leaders, and who you would swear they would never hurt a child. These monsters destroy the innocence of our young they prey on for their own sexual satisfaction. I had an opportunity to listen to a pedophile on the witness stand say that he "loved his young 'friends' and never wanted to hurt them". What I discovered in the time that I worked with these victims is that not only are they hurt by the attacker but because the pedophile is frequently an outstanding member of the community or worse yet a relative of the victim, they are victimized by the doubt that is expressed by many that the child must be lying or even worse, asked for it to happen. That much hasn't changed as evidenced by the recent arrest of Jerry Sandusky from Penn State and Bernie Fine from Syracuse. There is immediate doubt of the story and the undercurrent is that the alleged victims want money. When I worked with a molested child I told the parents the truth... that they were about to become socially outcasted, at least for a time. It was difficult to watch. In the case of Bernie Fine his wife allegedly took part in and was fully knowledgeable about what her husband was doing.
What I want to say in this post is that it is virtually impossible to prevent your child from becoming a victim unless he/she is locked in his room till he is grown. But you can prevent it from happening again and again. Let me be clear that in my experience that if your child is targeted once he will be targeted again. I don't know why but it is the truth. What you must do as parents and grandparents is to educate your young and you must do it on a regular basis. I recently commented on Face Book about a book that is only available in Amazon as a used copy. It apparently is out of print. The book is called the Private Zone. It is a read along book that lets kids know that the area covered by their bathing suits is off limits. It's a wonderful book that lets kids know what 'bad feelings' and 'good feelings' are and what to do. I recommend that anyone who reads this get a copy asap before they are all gone. I have learned that the adult that the child sees most recently can control the child. In other words you can tell your child what to watch out for and a month later a molester (who has been cultivating your child by the way)can use threats and coercion to sexually abuse your young. What you have told your child is not forgotten but is pushed back against the threats of someone that he knows and trusts. It may happen once but if you frequently talk to your child it may prevent it from happening again. If your child starts to act out sexually, becomes withdrawn, starts to wet the bed, has slipping grades or suddenly does not want to partake in an activity that previously he/she liked then you may have a problem. The only thing I can tell you is to watch and listen to your kids. If they are young they have no way to process what is happening to them and they will start to behave in a manner that is not normal. I remember being called to a home of a friend who had an in house licenced baby sitting service. She had observed this child acting out for the last 3 days and she called me. It was nap time and we observed the 4 year old using her stuffed Mr. Bunny to masturbate over and over till she was sweaty and had fallen asleep. We called child welfare. They investigated and it was her stepfather who was abusing her. Her mother came over afterwards and confronted us. She was a school teacher and was pregnant. She was furious that we had reported her husband and 'ruined' her life. I often wonder what happened to that little girl.

There are groups that want to abolish the age of consent laws. The most formidable group is NAMBLA: the North American Man/Boy Love Association. They also want all men released from jail who were convicted for sex contact with a minor. This group is still active today. President Obama's Assistant Deputy Secretary of the Office of Safe and Drug Free Schools till July of this year was a supporter of Harry Hay an activist with NAMBLA and years ago praised him even knowing that he was a member of NAMBLA.

This year a group of mental health professionals , psychiatrists and pedophiles in Maryland formed B4U-ACT, designed to normalize the act of pedophilia. They want these 'misunderstood' persons to be titled with a more "sensitive and socially-accepting term: the minor attracted person. I don't know, I am still partial to predator, degenerate, deviant, and monster. What I do know is that if we bow down to any pressure to be "socially correct" with these men and women who steal the joys of childhood from our children we will never recover. Our children are our greatest gifts and deserve all the joys and wonders that childhood brings. We are all responsible for their protection. If you know or suspect that something is happening to a child and you ignore it you are as guilty as the predator.


Kryss Oroborus said...

Wow, not really sure what to say except that i completely agree rock!

Anonymous said...

I am forwarding your link on my fb too. This needed to be said and thank you for the second encouragement to buy that book. Patti

Kim C. said...

I am shocked! It makes me sick and sad that counselors who see the affects first hand would support this.

Glenda L. said...

Wow! I think that everything you have said is "right on the money". I just find it incredible that some people would think abusing a child is okay, and are even trying to make it socially acceptable. I am a retired librarian, and have seen the book you mentioned. Am going to try to find it at the library again at least until a copy can be procured for my grandchildren. So glad you posted this!