Resolutions

I didn't want to rush the process of trying to figure out what my New Year's resolutions would be this year. I actually sat down with pen in hand to try to figure out a list that would be attainable and practical. I wondered how long it would be before I managed to break any resolutions that I would make. I decided not to write anything until I had a handle on what was going to stick. My first resolution was of course to go on a low carb diet. That lasted less than ten seconds because as I was typing my list I was eating a cookie. I can multitask. I had the cookie firmly held between my lips while I was typing with both hands. In fact I had 4 more cookies waiting on the table next to my computer. The next resolution was to go to the gym on the days that I get off work. That resolution lasted less than 36 hours. The gym is on my way home and I have been paying them every month for two years. I haven't darkened their doorstep in over a year. I went to work on Wednesday night and on the way home in the morning I passed the gym and remembered that I was supposed to stop and walk for 30 minutes. I didn't want to turn around because the street was busy so I decided that I would walk the dog through my neighborhood a distance of exactly one mile. I got home, had to run to the potty(no bladder control) and while there stripped off my clothes and put on my jammies. THEN I remembered that I was supposed to walk. Well poop. Okay I felt I could still salvage this because I have an exercise ball that I bought over a year ago and have not inflated. I got it out to blow up and realized that I needed to look up something on the computer... like how much weight does this thing hold? I got sidetracked on the computer because I had crops to harvest on Farmville. It's a damn shame that you can't lose weight playing computer games. By the time I got around to looking up the weight limit on my exercise ball it was time to go to bed. I did lay on my back in bed and raise each leg 10 times. My next resolution was to clean house and keep it in order. Its been two weeks and I still have Christmas decorations lying around in partially sealed boxes PLUS I emptied the floor in my walk in closet to make room for the half-packed decorations so that I won't have to go to the Attic each year and drag them down. Now my bedroom looks like a bomb went off. I was so excited because in my closet I found another 2 HUGE containers of pictures that were tucked away. This is a good thing because I had promised to find all my pictures and get them in one place for one of LAST year's unwritten resolutions. I spent about an hour or two looking through the pictures and the mementos that I have saved. I went back to the computer to look up scrapbooks. I need a mess of scrapbooks to put cards and pictures that the kids made me. Oops I had to head on over to Cityville first to collect my rent and request gifts to complete game goals. With that finished I found the scrapbooks I wanted and made note of them so that I could order on my next payday. I got up to get a drink of water and noted that the sink was full. I did dishes and mopped the floor. Then I went to the laundry to get clothes out of the dryer and realized that I need clothes hangers. I went back to my bedroom and had to move some of the boxes out of the way to get into my closet and discovered a box full of my mom's recipes that she had saved. What a treasure trove. About 10 years ago I stored this box and made a fricking resolution to organize the contents and make a family cookbook. I got my coat hangers after looking through the recipe box and hung up clothes. I needed to take a nap for work so I went to bed and set my phone alarm for 2 hours. I raised each leg 10 times and went to sleep. In the middle of my nap I had to pee and got up and promptly fell over a box and peed on myself. I had to clean up and by that time I was awake. I got my shower, did my hair and reflected on the last 15 days of failed resolutions. I realized that I may have a problem with distractions. I am probably ADD. So I have made my only resolution this year. It is to list what I need to accomplish each day... the night before. I only list one or two items that are reachable and will cause me great guilt if I can't manage to accomplish them. I am talking easy stuff here. Like yesterday my to do list included stripping my bed and gathering all the bath towels. I did that AND I put them on to wash. That wasn't on my list so I get bonus points for going over and above. The other to do thing was to pull the rest of the stuff from my closet and put JUST the fragile boxes of Christmas decorations in place. DONE!!!!!! Yay!! Today as I type the things that are looming for me to do are to get dressed(with good hair) and visit a friend in the hospital and to put away another 4 boxes. I did make progress on a non-resolution. I ordered nutrasystem and I am going to give it a try...one day at a time.