Merry Christmas 2007

Christmas is my time of year. I love the smells, the decoration, the greenery, the sparkles, the gifts, and the music. I would have made the best druid if Jesus hadn't come into my life. I am wholly into tradition that I have borrowed, studied, adapted and made into my own for my family with hopes that they will take the best part of my traditions add their own and make new memories for their families. I am in an unusual position this year. Instead of being home on Christmas Eve like I have for nearly 30 years with a glass of Champagne in my hand, doing dishes and making casseroles for Christmas breakfast, I am at work with my friend Jilly and Leslie and saying good by to my friend Fazie. I am attending at times to old men, drunks, vomiting babies and guess because of the circumstances I am where I am supposed to be at this time. I believe that God is teaching me something if I can just listen well enough. Joshua was going to go visit his dad, Steve this Christmas. He has never done that and I being the selfish mama hen never let him go over MY holiday. So I in tears encouraged him to go and made plans to work. Becky being a new nurse this year would work as well and we made plans to 'do' Christmas as tradition dictates this next weekend. Well, fate stepped in and Joshua got hired to dance for Nutcracker in New Orleans and he is home now in bed on Christmas Eve and I am at work. I have cooked the same meal for years now and am held to the menu that I started years ago by the kids. Joshua with Rebekah echoing the sentiment one year, when I omitted the yam casserole complained that the table didn't look right without it even though no one eats the stuff. So in the interest of color and harmony I make the yam stuff along with a Prime Rib Roast, broccoli and yellow squash casseroles, jello salad and pretzel salad. I do Brussels spouts with almonds and lemons that everyone loves and have a bread. Then I have a dessert of some sort. I can add to but can not take away. I usually have friends over for dinner so afterwards I have coerced labor in wrapping stocking presents (which must be done messy) while I, with the afore stated champagne in one hand prepare the Christmas casseroles for the morning.
This year I have been thinking about my mom and really really missing her. Maybe it was getting the tree ready and looking at the ornaments that she gave my kids when they were born or maybe it was just that I can remember that she made our Christmas's special or at least in my child mind they were always the very best. I was on the way to work tonight and Silent Night was playing and I nearly had to pull over. I was transported to Hoge Memorial Church at the midnight service holding a candle with my grey palazzo pants on and my white silk shirt with my amber beads on. I must have been a 'babe' back then. We were singing and mom looked over at me and said you look so pretty tonight. I can still see her looking at me like I was just beautiful. It made me teary to remember that look in her eyes. My memory, my holiday, my joy. I look at my children and see my mom in them. My son has a kindness and a love that comes from her and he is alive today because of her steadfast prayer and belief in God. In my beautiful daughter she graced with honor, and trust. She is such a confident young woman and filled with compassion like my mom. I believe that my mom gifted me with the love of laughter and family. She loved her girls. We were the most important aspects in her life, and what she did and who she was, was largely for us. While preparing for this blog I was taking pics of the ornaments that she gifted my children with when they were born. They are not crystal, made of gold or silver but they are angels for my angels. They didn't cost much but I still have them and they go on the tree each year and will go to my children to put on their tree, their first tree gift from a loving grandma. As I was taking shots I found several ornaments that I had as a child that still grace my tree. One is broken but it has a place of honor. My memory, my joy. Then in my picture taking tour I tried to find the ones that belong to my kids from grade school. I found two that Rebekah made but couldn't find the apples that Josh brought home in second grade. After perusing the pics I did see the apples tucked into the tree but they didn't make this blog.

This little blue angel was for Joshua on his first Christmas and he still looks for it each year
Becky was gifted this on her first Christmas, an angel for an angel.
This is an old Christmas Ball from when I was a child. It's really not pretty anymore, except to me. My memory and my joy.
These next two are from Becky in the first and second grade. How priceless they are to me.

This is my season of the year. I am at my best, my tiredest and my happiest at this time. I exist on no sleep, worry that the food wasn't right, wishing that I could do more and give more and be more. And I love it. I regret getting older because I will have to turn the reins over to my children and maybe will in that time be glad to do so but for now from my tree to yours, from my house to yours, and mostly from my heart to yours Merry, Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year. May our Lord reside in your homes to guide each of you this new year.