Joshua and the B.O.B.

I shared a link on my face book page about a baby who happened to have a BOB(battery operated boyfriend) mixed in with his toys. It was pretty funny till you think about who put it there and why on earth they let the baby play with it.. but i digress. Anyway it reminded me of when Josh was a toddler. Joshua was just 3 when Stan and I got married. I worked on Life Flight in Pensacola, Florida with a bunch of really great, irreverent nurses and pilots. They had a wedding shower for me and I got all kinds of useful things.... the best being a case of Tanqueray Gin and some girly stuff. The last thing I unwrapped was a vibrator. I still remember them all sitting there waiting for my reaction. I was pretty embarrassed because I had never seen one before( I didn't get out much) Well when I got home I was going to throw it out.. then got concerned because someone might know that the trash was mine and "what would they think"? I buried it in my underwear draw and forgot about it. It was a different time my faithful two readers and "Sex in the City" would have been outlawed let alone given Emmys. I refused to tell Stan about it. We could be sexually liberated but still prudish. When Stan and I got ready for our move to Tulsa I was going thru my clothes and saw the B.O.B. Again what to do with the thing. I kept it in the drawer and planned on throwing it out when we got to Tulsa(I really planned on driving behind some store and throwing it in a dumpster..after wiping off my prints). We moved to a condo development and settled in. About 2 weeks after we moved I had been downstairs unpacking and realized I hadn't heard from Joshua and went upstairs to look. I couldn't find him and went outside and he was gone. I was frantic and went door to door looking for him. He was around the block in our backyard neighbor's home. This was someone I hadn't met yet and when she opened the door I told her who I was and that my son was missing. She looked at me for the longest time and then said, over her shoulder, "Joshua your mommas here for you" Up popped Joshua and I enveloped him in a hug and told him he had to go home because he left without permission. As we walked out the door she stopped us and said "Joshua, don't forget your toy". In he ran and came back with that damn vibrator dragging on the floor behind him. It actually was long enough it bounced on the floor while he walked. I was horrified.

"Who does that belong to" I asked my son...

Joshua responded "it's yurs mommy"

"Oh no it isn't" I replied with bravado.

"Yes it is mommy it was in yur nunderwear drawer...and looky it goes vrrrroomm" (as he turned it on.

We are so "enlightened" today so you cannot know just how bad this was. I loaded up the car with Joshua and the Vibrator and drove about 20 miles from my condo and threw the B.O.B. away in a dumpster. I know that of all the wonderful neighbors we had in the condo community, the backyard neighbor was not one of them. She pretty much snubbed us.... and I was glad.