Saturday, January 1, 2011

Resolutions for 2011

Every year I start out the same with a list howbeit short that I never stick to. This year I am going all out on my New Year's Resolution list:
1) be a high fashion model.
2)grow my hair long.
3) cook and decorate like Martha Stewart.
4) Save 100,000.00 dollars.
5) get a 100,000.00 raise at work.
6) Appear in a movie(I'm thinking opposite Sean Connery with a kissing scene.... and possibly with tongue).
7) Sing a duet with Sandy Patty
8)Be on Sean Hannity's Great American Panel and throw the football..once.
9) Go to the casino and win on every slot machine I put money in.
10)Meet the President, blow a raspberry at him and tell him he doesn't know a rat's ass about what we need as Americans. (and not get arrested or on a list somewhere)
11)Have Josh Groban over for dinner and have him sing while I cook.
12)Wear high heels again and not fall on my face.
13)Have wild monkey sex, at the beach, in the moonlight, with a string quartet playing softly in the background(behind a bush so they can't see).
14)Win the lottery and share( everybody says that)
15)Go to the Gym everyday and twice on my day's off.
16)Be a vegetarian(cows everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief... this will probably not happen as I can't go a week without beef before I start dreaming about rib roasts and hamburgers)
17) write a book
18) learn to operate my camera other than auto mode.
19) wear a thong(size 6)and stroll casually thru my house (with said thong and the aforementioned high heels) to get a cup of coffee..... in front of Stan...while he is watching the Weather Channel
20. Put 911 on my speed dial.

Notice that I didn't put anything on here about dieting... for that resolution you need to visit www.weightnomorethediaryofafatwoman.blogspot.com

Have a Happy New Year and my prayer for all my 6 readers is that you will be blessed with health, joy, financial increase, and a peace that only Jesus can bring.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's an excellent list ma'am.

Michael K.

Yvette Burleigh said...

ROFL!!!! All things are possible with God, right? Go for it!