My mother went home to Jesus on Mother's Day 2002. So many years have gone by and I still miss her. So many times I think I need to call Mom and tell her about a situation that is going on. I think I have blogged before that when I am going through something troubling she will come to me in my dreams. She listens to me tell her what is wrong and I can "hear" her advise me although I never can remember seeing her lips move. She sits there with this kind expression on her face and her thoughts are mine. I have my answer and I turn to hug her and she is gone. I always wake up grieved that instead of talking I should have just hugged her. The logical answer of course is that I knew her so well and knew what she would say in most situations that my dream is just my subconscious acting on previously stored "mom" information. I CHOOSE not to be logical. She has come to me in dreams and during my last surgery. For these many moments my Mom was there for me as she was in life.
I think the hope of all moms is that they leave a lasting impression on their young and hopefully a good one. I hope that my children and grandchildren will look back on my life and tell funny stories, laugh, and talk about my eccentricities, my fear of spiders and flying. I want them to keep me alive through the next generation and if I am really lucky the generation after that. I know some of the negative things that will be told there as well. I am not perfect. I worked too much and too long. I have so many regrets that I did not take more time with both of my children. Looking back I made so many mistakes. I love Joshua and Rebekah with so much love it makes my heart hurt. I now know that agony that my mom felt when something happened to one of us. I still want to make things right for both of my kids and I am wrong, they are out of my nest and into their own. They have their own children and I am in awe that they both are excellent parents. My mom used to say to me you are still and will always be my baby no matter your age. That is how I feel. I still want to slay all their dragons. I am joyous that my grandchildren love me. That is such a special kind of love: freely given, honestly expressed and full of that special something that only a child can give.
I had so many "moms" that helped me in the rearing of my children. Georgia Satterfield Shimkus was my support system with Josh and I wrote a previous blog about her. I was a new mom and she was there and loved my son with me. When Becky came along Ruth Knol Sutherland taught me that all food groups could be found in fruit roll ups, marshmallows, Twizzlers, raisins, and chased with Vitamin C. My children were her children and vice versa. Kay McGuire gave Josh a
Gordon Setter for his 12th birthday and encouraged him to show said dog. He was so shy and I still have a picture with Jezzy the dog, the Judge holding Jezzy's winning ribbon and Joshua looking like he was in melt down mode. She has watched both my kids grow with exasperation and love. Jojo Lapp not only was in the delivery room when I had Rebekah but has given me most of the Christmas traditions that I still try to honor She really does Christmas the best and my kids are doing some of those same things for their kids and probably don't realize that it started with JoJo. Jill Forbes is the Nan to Patton Lee. Patton is one of the twins and is adored by his Nanny. She equally loves Winston and Aster as well. She is "aunt" to Joshua and Rebekah. Maria Felton came into my life about 15 years ago. She has provided untold advice, love and support to my family and loves my grandchildren, Her daughter Arianna is like another grandchild to me and I stand by with so much pride at all her successes. So many women have had so much impact on my children and grandchildren. To all those women I wish you love on this day and great thanks for the love and care you selflessly gave to me and mine. My prayer is that you realize just how much you did do and realize just how important you are.
To my sister Patti who raised her two "babies" to successful adulthood. I love you and know that you miss mom just like I do. She loved us all so very much.
Happy Mother's Day
Saturday, May 12, 2018
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
Rev. Hans Klee, Hoge Church, Ina Lee and the War on Christianity
When I get the urge to write something personal it usually comes to me in the night in dreams. I had a dream about an incident that involved my mom. I woke up crying remembering the situation and felt that I needed to put this down for my family history and how Christianity came under attack in my family over 40 years ago. I wanted to discuss this with my sister Patti before I started this journey down a painful lane and was surprised when she told me that she had discussed the same incident with an acquaintance I think she said a week before. I was crying as I was talking with her and she provided me facts that I had forgotten and I was able to establish a timeline. Follow with me as I provide a background to our church history.
My earliest memory of a Minister was Rev Calvin Didier. I still remember a sermon that he gave telling us that death was like a "come as you are party". In other words you are taken from this earth and the judgement begins you don't get a chance to change after you are gone. I was probably about 8 years old and the words didn't scare me but they have stayed with me all these years. After he left we were lead by Rev. Gish for many years. He was a godly man and a shepherd to our flock. I remember his eyes. They were so very kind. He also rescued a group of our Seniors(me included) when we were detained by the sheriff department for a poorly planned band and Wesket initiation. During the time of his time a prayer group was formed. We met once a week prayed, studied the bible, and witnessed miracles. No one to this day can tell me that miracles do not happen.... they do I was there. Our leaders were Bill and Mavis Hankey. Rev Gish came a few times but deferred to Bill in the teaching aspect as I remember. I was a born again Christian washed in the blood of my Savior, and was blessed that this group was part of our church and could feed this fledgling baby. Mom and I were always there. Mavis gave a prophecy at one meeting stating that the tine would come when we would be scattered in all directions.
My mom was the secretary of the church starting during Rev. Didier's time and was a fixture. I spent many many many days after school at the church. When a new minister is needed they sent out a group of people to visit other churches( now this part is sketchy so bear with me if I am not stating completely accurate facts as to the choosing) If they like the pastor he is invited back to speak to our church and he is voted by the congregation. They found a Pastor and he was interested and came to speak to our church, I remember that I cried because this was a born again christian. His sermon only needed an altar call. As I recall he was voted in but turned down the position after a night of prayer with his wife. God didn't want him there. Mom said that he felt the church was dying( and that is not a quote but when she told me she cried) We were devastated. The next selection was a man named Rev. Hans Klee(pronounced clay) His first sermon he held up a voodoo/African type mask that was frightening to see. He said it would hang outside his office to "ward off evil spirits" I exited the church prior to the end of his sermon. I don't remember how long he was there before he started coming to our prayer group and basically took over. We submitted to his authority and he eventually stopped coming and things resumed. I had no idea this prayer group was such a thorn in his side. I was a deacon in the church and occasional taught Sunday school for the babies.
One night he and several men from church came to my home to talk with my mom. He did all the talking. He informed my mom that he was aware of every penny she had and what she needed to survive and that she had a decision to make. She would stop associating with the prayer group or be fired. I remember seeing one of the men look at another with a questioning look I think he was surprised at that statement but I will never know. I wanted to shout at them. She has been your friend. She has helped you, loved you all for years and this is what is allowed. He looked at me and put his filthy evil hands on my shoulder and said to me "we have no problem with you at all you can continue to teach and be a deacon" My response was "you have insulted me. The Jesus that you see in my mom and hate you should be able to see in me. I need to return to prayer for an infilling of the spirit" I told them they had to leave and that BASTARD leaned down and told my mom if you contact any of your "friends" I will know even on your home phone and I WILL fire you". Then they left. I shut the door and found my mom sitting on the steps leading to our upstairs with her hands covering her face shaking. I had never seen my mom like that. My first thought was to call Mavis that we needed prayer. Mom was shaking and yelled "NO NO NO he will find out he will know" My next memory from that night was several people from the prayer group showed up...don't know who called them or how they knew but they prayed with her and provided her with courage and I felt God that night cover my house with his peace and love. My brave courageous Mom without a job in sight told that evil man that she had no intention to quit the prayer group. What my sister Patti reminded me was that he was unable to fire her that it had to be done by the Elders of the church and they refused. Mom miraculously found another job that was excellent for her. God delivered her from evil and gave her such a gift that paid better with great benefits!!
My mom was a testimony to God's love and grace and when I walked away for a time she prayed me through. She prayed my son through a very difficult time and called him at the time that it was life and death for him. She adored her family and spent time on her knees for all of us.She would be very upset at the anger I feel as I am writing about that evil man. My sister found out he passed on some time ago. I honestly hope that he found Jesus before he died. I am sitting here crying as I am writing and I am experiencing a lifting of the heaviness on my heart.
The last thing I want to to say is yes there is a war going on, for our families, our hearts, our identities and our souls. We cannot allow this to happen. This is not political about the qualifications of our President. It's closer to home. It's the indoctrination of our children. The fact that we cannot come against things that we do not believe because the liberal leaning population attack like rabid dogs. I could go on for pages and will at a later date.
I love you mom and miss you every day. You have come to me in my times of need in the twilight of my nights and apparently during the surgery. You always leave me with peace but I would give just about anything to hug you again. I loved you so much
My earliest memory of a Minister was Rev Calvin Didier. I still remember a sermon that he gave telling us that death was like a "come as you are party". In other words you are taken from this earth and the judgement begins you don't get a chance to change after you are gone. I was probably about 8 years old and the words didn't scare me but they have stayed with me all these years. After he left we were lead by Rev. Gish for many years. He was a godly man and a shepherd to our flock. I remember his eyes. They were so very kind. He also rescued a group of our Seniors(me included) when we were detained by the sheriff department for a poorly planned band and Wesket initiation. During the time of his time a prayer group was formed. We met once a week prayed, studied the bible, and witnessed miracles. No one to this day can tell me that miracles do not happen.... they do I was there. Our leaders were Bill and Mavis Hankey. Rev Gish came a few times but deferred to Bill in the teaching aspect as I remember. I was a born again Christian washed in the blood of my Savior, and was blessed that this group was part of our church and could feed this fledgling baby. Mom and I were always there. Mavis gave a prophecy at one meeting stating that the tine would come when we would be scattered in all directions.
My mom was the secretary of the church starting during Rev. Didier's time and was a fixture. I spent many many many days after school at the church. When a new minister is needed they sent out a group of people to visit other churches( now this part is sketchy so bear with me if I am not stating completely accurate facts as to the choosing) If they like the pastor he is invited back to speak to our church and he is voted by the congregation. They found a Pastor and he was interested and came to speak to our church, I remember that I cried because this was a born again christian. His sermon only needed an altar call. As I recall he was voted in but turned down the position after a night of prayer with his wife. God didn't want him there. Mom said that he felt the church was dying( and that is not a quote but when she told me she cried) We were devastated. The next selection was a man named Rev. Hans Klee(pronounced clay) His first sermon he held up a voodoo/African type mask that was frightening to see. He said it would hang outside his office to "ward off evil spirits" I exited the church prior to the end of his sermon. I don't remember how long he was there before he started coming to our prayer group and basically took over. We submitted to his authority and he eventually stopped coming and things resumed. I had no idea this prayer group was such a thorn in his side. I was a deacon in the church and occasional taught Sunday school for the babies.
One night he and several men from church came to my home to talk with my mom. He did all the talking. He informed my mom that he was aware of every penny she had and what she needed to survive and that she had a decision to make. She would stop associating with the prayer group or be fired. I remember seeing one of the men look at another with a questioning look I think he was surprised at that statement but I will never know. I wanted to shout at them. She has been your friend. She has helped you, loved you all for years and this is what is allowed. He looked at me and put his filthy evil hands on my shoulder and said to me "we have no problem with you at all you can continue to teach and be a deacon" My response was "you have insulted me. The Jesus that you see in my mom and hate you should be able to see in me. I need to return to prayer for an infilling of the spirit" I told them they had to leave and that BASTARD leaned down and told my mom if you contact any of your "friends" I will know even on your home phone and I WILL fire you". Then they left. I shut the door and found my mom sitting on the steps leading to our upstairs with her hands covering her face shaking. I had never seen my mom like that. My first thought was to call Mavis that we needed prayer. Mom was shaking and yelled "NO NO NO he will find out he will know" My next memory from that night was several people from the prayer group showed up...don't know who called them or how they knew but they prayed with her and provided her with courage and I felt God that night cover my house with his peace and love. My brave courageous Mom without a job in sight told that evil man that she had no intention to quit the prayer group. What my sister Patti reminded me was that he was unable to fire her that it had to be done by the Elders of the church and they refused. Mom miraculously found another job that was excellent for her. God delivered her from evil and gave her such a gift that paid better with great benefits!!
My mom was a testimony to God's love and grace and when I walked away for a time she prayed me through. She prayed my son through a very difficult time and called him at the time that it was life and death for him. She adored her family and spent time on her knees for all of us.She would be very upset at the anger I feel as I am writing about that evil man. My sister found out he passed on some time ago. I honestly hope that he found Jesus before he died. I am sitting here crying as I am writing and I am experiencing a lifting of the heaviness on my heart.
The last thing I want to to say is yes there is a war going on, for our families, our hearts, our identities and our souls. We cannot allow this to happen. This is not political about the qualifications of our President. It's closer to home. It's the indoctrination of our children. The fact that we cannot come against things that we do not believe because the liberal leaning population attack like rabid dogs. I could go on for pages and will at a later date.
I love you mom and miss you every day. You have come to me in my times of need in the twilight of my nights and apparently during the surgery. You always leave me with peace but I would give just about anything to hug you again. I loved you so much
Monday, May 7, 2018
LGMC, HIP REMOVAL, AND GETTING OLDER
In one week it will have been a year since I blogged. I am a poor excuse for a Mimi because I write mostly for my kids and my grand kids so that they can look back when I am gone and have an idea as to who I am, what I believed and loved. There is a lot of other reasons too but just understand that I am glad that others read what I write but it really is for my babies.
I had my left hip removed by Dr. Scott Yerger in Lafayette Louisiana on April 19, 2018. My pre surgical experience up to and including my stay at Lafayette General and my post surgical experience have been excellent. Dr. Yerger starts sending out emails to you with a ton of educational information and check lists weeks before you go into the hospital. If you do not take advantage of the opportunity that he provides then you are an idiot. The only excuse is if you do not have internet abilities and I bet that the office has answers for that as well. The staff is gracious, available to answer questions, and are quick to respond to any problems that you might have. My pre check in at the Pace clinic was awesome. I am a Registered Nurse with nearly 44 years of experience. As a patient I am a moron. I know just enough to make myself dangerous. The pace nurse went over everything with direct eye contact that made me feel that I was so very important to her personally. The day of surgery I was terrified. I was having a spinal instead of general anesthesia and I am fricken terrified of needles especially those that are big enough to go into my spine. The anesthesiologist promised me he was going to give me bravery juice. The only thing I remember was sitting at the side of the bed in the suite and a WONDERFUL African American man held me. I cannot tell you what he did or said but he made me feel safe. His name started with a D I think. You sir are a wonderful man .. take that into your heart that what ever you said or did made this terrified lady feel safe and whenever I tell this story I cry. I cannot tell you what happened until I woke up unable to move my legs in recovery. Becky said the surgery was short but I was in recovery a long time waiting on a bed. At one time I was scared and I couldn't seem to get attention. I am not even sure I was actually summoning anyone. I was panicking in my mind and my mother came to me she stroked my hair back and said you are going to be fine. My mom has been dead for over 15 years. No I am not nuts..... well not completely. Shortly afterwards Becky came through the door...then I felt my world was righted.
As soon as I was able to move my toes they got me up and I walked down the hallway. I was amazed at the lack of pain but apparently they shoot you up at the site so that you CAN get up and move without too much pain.... smart people. The nurses on the 4th floor all deserve the Heart of Nursing award. Every contact I had including housekeeping, dietary, nursing assistance and nursing staff are star performers. They were caring, intuitive, kind and professional. ALL OF THEM. The NP on the floor was an angel as well.
I did not go home till Saturday I had vomiting issues. Other than that I felt my pain was in control. Through the PT and OT staff I learned to put on shoes, socks and pick up things off the floor. I learned how to get in and out of a car and the "never -dos" in relation to my healing hip.I went to Becky's to recover and really don't remember a lot about the first few days except she kept my medications up to date and bathed me. It is difficult to explain that this care that I have received at her home by her hands has been excellent. She handles so much and I think it was a lot like having another child. I had gained 20 lbs even after vomiting and was horrified until I really looked at my left buttock. I put the Kardashians to shame. My left buttock was huge as was my left leg. It was high and hard as a rock compared to my right soft grandma butt. Since that time I am about 5 lbs nearer my pre surg weight.
Narcotics: do not like them do not want them, took them anyway. I did get 5 days of Toradol which is a godsend. Beats the hell out of any narcotic for pain control. My daughter kept me medicated and then we started cutting back. I knew what was working and what wasn't. For me Norco sucks for actual pain control and it backs you up. I sort of forgot I had not pooed in a week. I was taking stool softeners but those pesky Norcos just overrule your bowels. I will not go into graphic detail but ducolax works I had to take several. Problem solved. I cried non stop the first week. I could not stop the most ridiculous things would set me off . I think I dehydrated myself.
I am having physical therapy and they are the bomb as well. If they are being honest I am doing very well. When I get home my leg and hip spasm it is not painful as much as uncomfortable and it follows me into the night in bed. I take a single Valium at night with motrin and my baby aspirin and I am able to sleep. Bad as I hate Norco let me tell you Valium rocks. This also is being weaned down. I will probably need something for the spasms in the next few weeks because they happen every night but it cannot be Valium. I like it too much.
So many people went out of their way to think of me. My friend Jojo sent me a recliner....... can you believe that!!!! Debi cooked me an entire meal for my family with desert that was wonderful, Kay sent me flowers and Ria brought some my first day and checked on me. My niece sent me an edible arrangement as did my sister in law Elaine. My Louisiana sister Jill babysat me as did Janet. Glenda got me a bottle of wine and a "hip Kit" and has taken me to the store and to therapy and has made me nearly pee myself please see my posting on Facebook about our shopping trip, Joshua is taking me to therapy as well and providing me with encouragement. My dear neighbor Maria and her daughter Arianna visited me and Maria has taken me to therapy several times and to the store. Then her husband Michael made me soup. So many many kindnesses and I am humbled by the love.
I now have my first fake part if you don't count the boobs, teeth crowns, and wigs. This is my first real geriatric part, my entry to the club of elders , the first of what will probably be a repeat in the next few years on my right hip. I am getting older and each day wake up and thank God that I still am alive and kicking. I have so many things to be grateful for and go to sleep thinking about them.
To Rebekah and Shane thank you for opening your home and your hearts to a partially disabled Mimi and I will never ever forget what you have done for me. I wait each day for the twins to get home to see "mimi's booboo" then they share the booboos that they have acquired during the day.
God is good.
I had my left hip removed by Dr. Scott Yerger in Lafayette Louisiana on April 19, 2018. My pre surgical experience up to and including my stay at Lafayette General and my post surgical experience have been excellent. Dr. Yerger starts sending out emails to you with a ton of educational information and check lists weeks before you go into the hospital. If you do not take advantage of the opportunity that he provides then you are an idiot. The only excuse is if you do not have internet abilities and I bet that the office has answers for that as well. The staff is gracious, available to answer questions, and are quick to respond to any problems that you might have. My pre check in at the Pace clinic was awesome. I am a Registered Nurse with nearly 44 years of experience. As a patient I am a moron. I know just enough to make myself dangerous. The pace nurse went over everything with direct eye contact that made me feel that I was so very important to her personally. The day of surgery I was terrified. I was having a spinal instead of general anesthesia and I am fricken terrified of needles especially those that are big enough to go into my spine. The anesthesiologist promised me he was going to give me bravery juice. The only thing I remember was sitting at the side of the bed in the suite and a WONDERFUL African American man held me. I cannot tell you what he did or said but he made me feel safe. His name started with a D I think. You sir are a wonderful man .. take that into your heart that what ever you said or did made this terrified lady feel safe and whenever I tell this story I cry. I cannot tell you what happened until I woke up unable to move my legs in recovery. Becky said the surgery was short but I was in recovery a long time waiting on a bed. At one time I was scared and I couldn't seem to get attention. I am not even sure I was actually summoning anyone. I was panicking in my mind and my mother came to me she stroked my hair back and said you are going to be fine. My mom has been dead for over 15 years. No I am not nuts..... well not completely. Shortly afterwards Becky came through the door...then I felt my world was righted.
As soon as I was able to move my toes they got me up and I walked down the hallway. I was amazed at the lack of pain but apparently they shoot you up at the site so that you CAN get up and move without too much pain.... smart people. The nurses on the 4th floor all deserve the Heart of Nursing award. Every contact I had including housekeeping, dietary, nursing assistance and nursing staff are star performers. They were caring, intuitive, kind and professional. ALL OF THEM. The NP on the floor was an angel as well.
I did not go home till Saturday I had vomiting issues. Other than that I felt my pain was in control. Through the PT and OT staff I learned to put on shoes, socks and pick up things off the floor. I learned how to get in and out of a car and the "never -dos" in relation to my healing hip.I went to Becky's to recover and really don't remember a lot about the first few days except she kept my medications up to date and bathed me. It is difficult to explain that this care that I have received at her home by her hands has been excellent. She handles so much and I think it was a lot like having another child. I had gained 20 lbs even after vomiting and was horrified until I really looked at my left buttock. I put the Kardashians to shame. My left buttock was huge as was my left leg. It was high and hard as a rock compared to my right soft grandma butt. Since that time I am about 5 lbs nearer my pre surg weight.
Narcotics: do not like them do not want them, took them anyway. I did get 5 days of Toradol which is a godsend. Beats the hell out of any narcotic for pain control. My daughter kept me medicated and then we started cutting back. I knew what was working and what wasn't. For me Norco sucks for actual pain control and it backs you up. I sort of forgot I had not pooed in a week. I was taking stool softeners but those pesky Norcos just overrule your bowels. I will not go into graphic detail but ducolax works I had to take several. Problem solved. I cried non stop the first week. I could not stop the most ridiculous things would set me off . I think I dehydrated myself.
I am having physical therapy and they are the bomb as well. If they are being honest I am doing very well. When I get home my leg and hip spasm it is not painful as much as uncomfortable and it follows me into the night in bed. I take a single Valium at night with motrin and my baby aspirin and I am able to sleep. Bad as I hate Norco let me tell you Valium rocks. This also is being weaned down. I will probably need something for the spasms in the next few weeks because they happen every night but it cannot be Valium. I like it too much.
So many people went out of their way to think of me. My friend Jojo sent me a recliner....... can you believe that!!!! Debi cooked me an entire meal for my family with desert that was wonderful, Kay sent me flowers and Ria brought some my first day and checked on me. My niece sent me an edible arrangement as did my sister in law Elaine. My Louisiana sister Jill babysat me as did Janet. Glenda got me a bottle of wine and a "hip Kit" and has taken me to the store and to therapy and has made me nearly pee myself please see my posting on Facebook about our shopping trip, Joshua is taking me to therapy as well and providing me with encouragement. My dear neighbor Maria and her daughter Arianna visited me and Maria has taken me to therapy several times and to the store. Then her husband Michael made me soup. So many many kindnesses and I am humbled by the love.
I now have my first fake part if you don't count the boobs, teeth crowns, and wigs. This is my first real geriatric part, my entry to the club of elders , the first of what will probably be a repeat in the next few years on my right hip. I am getting older and each day wake up and thank God that I still am alive and kicking. I have so many things to be grateful for and go to sleep thinking about them.
To Rebekah and Shane thank you for opening your home and your hearts to a partially disabled Mimi and I will never ever forget what you have done for me. I wait each day for the twins to get home to see "mimi's booboo" then they share the booboos that they have acquired during the day.
God is good.
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