Natural Disasters, Sisters and Donuts

I know, unless you don't ever watch TV, read a newspaper or listen to the radio, that you are all aware of what is happening in California. In case you are in the above group STOP WATCHING RERUNS AND LOOK AT THE NEWS. News Flash... California is on fire. Countless people have been displaced, thousands of homes have been destroyed, the damage is horrendous..... sound familiar???? If not stop reading because the rest of this blog will bore you....

My sister Patti is with the Red Cross in fund development. I am so proud of her. She is in charge of fund development in L.A. and will be out in California till the first week of November. As far as I am concerned they couldn't have anyone any better for the job; she is smart, a go-getter and truly cares about the people that her efforts will serve. I am in awe of what she is doing. YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!

My sister Barbara last week suffered her own disaster when she broke her left arm high up on the humerus. She was running to answer the phone(I was calling) and she fell down and broke her arm... kinda makes me responsible. She is healing as I write. More importantly she is very positive about what is happening to her. She told me the other day that Joshua had called and prayed with her and she really felt a change in her attitude. So YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!

Now on to me. I made the mistake of watching Mega Disasters on the Discovery Channel. It was talking about the Yellowstone National Park and how its just one big ass volcano and it isnt dead. I never really gave Old Faithful much thought other than to think how cool it was that you could set your watch by the guyser. Old Faithful is just a hint of what is teaming below the surface( i think they said 5 miles?) There is a HUGE lake of lava just waiting to explode. If it does, well then.... poof..... no more bread basket in the US or Canada. It also was clear that if it erupts there will be no more animal or people for hundreds of miles and then the world changes in that the weather will cool all over and crops will fail, droughts will happen, nothing grows people will die and on and on and on. Al Gore will never get over it if the earth doesnt heat up.... that would be the ONLY good side to an mega eruption. You notice how I talked about the bread basket region in the US and Canada.... follow my train of thought here... mega eruption> no more bread basket>no more wheat> NO MORE DONUTS. That morning I went into the Winn Dixie to get my supplemental fruit and veggies for my diet. I passed by the donut section that they prepare in the store and they had 4 french crullers in the case. They are my most favorite donut. I stood there for at least 5 minutes trying to figure out a way to justify getting all four and snarfing them down in the car before I got home. I took the high road and walked on by. THEN I see the mega disaster show. BINGO....I had my justification..... What if.... are you following me here?..... what if the big one happens and there will never ever be any french crullers again. I just gave up my last opportunity to eat one. I almost went back but I was too depressed about the big ass volcano to move.

Happy Birthday Rebekah!!

It has taken me longer to figure out how to scan and post these pictures than it did for me to deliver my 10 pound 9 ounce baby girl 26 years ago today. One of the hardest things was to pick out which pictures I wanted to use of the hundreds that I have. The top picture was taken in November of 1981 she was just a month old. The next pic was taken in Ohio. She was about 2 years old. We had a beautiful little dress for her to wear and she pitched a fit because she didn't want to take off her daddy's tee shirt. She had an angelic face and a iron will..... come to think about it she hasn't changed much in that regard!
When I was pregnant with Beck we didn't get to find out the sex like you do now. I just know that I was huge and everyone including my doctor said I was having a boy, a big boy. Imagine my surprise when I had my black haired baby girl that was so chubby her nose had disappeared. I remember Stan leaning over the bassinet in the delivery room and said "well she is a girl but she is big enough to carry a foot ball". He got on the phone and called everyone to tell them what a beautiful baby girl he had. Her brother Joshua was thrilled because he had prayed nightly for a baby sister. I never found out why he didn't want a boy. When I called him he was so excited..... Mommy I'm praying for a pony next!!!!!

Something happened to my black haired no-nose little baby. She got gorgeous. She kept growing, getting taller and the remarkable thing was she was just as lovely on the inside. Rebekah is my joy. She is calm, rational, lady like.... for instance the picture above at the Mardi Gras Parade in Lafayette... notice her lovely hat and coordinating necklace...........
and the above pic was taken in Churchpoint at the Mardi Gras festival where you run around with all the other inebriated party goers and try to catch a chicken to be put in the gumbo pot.
Christmas time is my favorite time of the year and Becky manages to look good even with antlers on.
All kidding aside, as I said before she is my joy. If I had drawn a blueprint up for a daughter she would have been beyond my wildest hopes. I was given a much greater gift than I ever dreamed I would have. She is my inspiration as I watch her go thru life. She has an incredible sense of humor, a dry wit and a wonderful outlook on life.
Becky my darling daughter thank you so much for the past 26 years, sharing your life has been an adventure. I am so very proud of you. Each day is a gift and I am thankful to God for you. You shine outside and in..... Happy Happy birthday, you are so very loved.
Mom

ER Conversation, White Castles and Billy Graham

Dr. V. Boles, most excellent ER doc was on last night. During a lull we (Dr. B., Jill and me) were discussing serious medical things namely farting. For those of you who have NEVER worked in an Emergency Department, trust me when I tell you that farts are some of the more bland subjects that come up.... anyway the subject somehow went from gas passing to White Castles... I can't imagine how that connects( I am laughing hysterically here). For those of you Southerners who have never visited up north a White Castle is one of life's little treats. Nicknamed Rat burgers and slyders, they have been around since around 1920 and are little squares of beef with holes spaced in the meat (so they cook fast) on a bun that has been warmed on top of the cooking beef ( in the grease) covered with little stinky onions. They shove them in a box and you order at least 10 to eat by yourself. In high school, when out with your boyfriend, you ordered 2 because " you just couldn't eat anymore" then after the date you and your best friend headed back to the Castle and ordered 20 more and wolfed them down like little fat pigs. In the south they have a pale imitation called Crystal Burgers. Not the same folks, not even close. I am not going to argue with you because Rev. Billy Graham says the person with the experience is not at the mercy of a person with an argument. ( Billy meant a religious experience but the saying seemed so appropriate here) And lordy I have the experience ... I have probably had 1000 + rat burgers in my life and my kids will tell you I cannot drive by a White Castle and not stop... I think it has been hot wired into my DNA.... BUT(this is important here) I can drive by a Crystal and not stop. I enjoy a Crystal but its just not the same....... but I digress.... hugely from my topic.
When I mentioned White Castles, Dr. Boles told us a true story that happened to her as a resident. Apparently there was this huge lady who came to the ER via ambulance because she thought she had cancer and was rotting. Doc said she easily weighed 400+ pounds and overflowed the stretcher and when she passed she indeed smelled the rotten flesh. What Dr. Boles found when she examined her was a badly decomposed White Castle under her left breast that had infected the area under her breast and had caused the skin to slough off. A WHITE CASTLE.... why couldn't it have been a Big Mac or a Wendy's Single. Apparently ONE AND A HALF WEEKS earlier her family had come by and brought in dinner....... and she LOST one under her breast.!!!!!!!!!!! She said that it was obvious she didn't bathe much..... what gave them the first clue???...... ummmmm maybe the WHITE CASTLE UNDER HER TITTY..... gross, gross, gross.
It is going to take some time before I will be able to eat a rat burger without thinking about this story..... talk about an appetite killer.... too bad it couldn't have been liver and onions..... cause I hate liver and onions.

Pet Peeves part 1 Body Part Names

PLEASE NOTE BEFORE READING... I HAVE CORRECT NAMES FOR SEVERAL BODY PARTS INCLUDED IN THIS POST. IF THIS OFFENDS YOU THEN STOP READING YOU IGNORANT BOOB.

In the last post about Karma my niece left me a comment wondering if I take the same care of my non-mice clients. Of course I do silly girl... as long as they, as adults, can present to the ER and talk about their ailing body parts sans nicknames.
This problem is a daily occurrence and reigns as one of my top pet peeves( and I have many)
Example: Large adult male(macho type) presents to the ER.
Me: what can I help you with?
Him: I have a problem
me: yes?

him: Its ummm (and vaguely waves his hand downward) there...down there

You cannot hand me an opening like this and expect me not to act on it!!!!

me: Looking to his feet....did you sprain your ankle...and looking really really sincere and puzzled.
him; ummmmm no..... my private
me: your private WHAT????
him: my private part...you know.....
me: Ohhhhhhhhhh you mean your PENIS or your TESTICLES?
him: uhhhh yeah
me: Which is sick....is it your PENIS or your TESTICLES or both your PENIS and your TESTICLE... ( looking innocent and very very sincere)
him: its my rod.
Me: ahhhhhhh the PENIS. Now we are getting somewhere. What is wrong with your penis
Him; Well he(that is a quote)has a burn and a drip


Okay you get my drift... and that conversation really happened and ones like it happen ever day. I figure if you can take your rod out to play without 'his' coat on you can at least say the name PENIS without embarrassment.
Men are really bad about this. They come in telling me that, (I am inserting penis names here) rod, the big man, peter, by best friend, timmy, mr. wiggles, and names like that.... has a problem... they talk in the third person and have a detached air about themselves as if they are talking about someone else.
I make them say the correct name. Say penis..... say testicle..... say I have a sexually transmitted disease because I am a stupid shit and went in without covering up.... It constantly amazes me that adults are embarrassed about their body part names. It comes from childhood. I remember when Joshua at 2 came home from the baby sitter announcing that he had 'drained his main vein' I asked him what he meant and he said you know mommy.... "I bled my lizard". I finally figured out that he meant he had peed in the toilet by himself. I called Debra and requested that we use correct terms...( yes I was one of those moms)in the back ground Joshua was yelling
" I holding my snake" Right now you mothers say to your children..... penis .... they will die laughing.... and may come up with "ohhhh mommy said a bad word"

I will allow that pet names are okay as long as the child knows that penis, testicle, uterus, vagina, and breast are the correct names... and if ,God forbid, they ever have to testify in a court of law that they know the correct names. If a child can express himself in the event of an encounter with a perverted individual... it makes our job so much easier.

Women also do the down there thing or the privates thing when they come in the ER. I had a lady say to me, when I questioned if the boil was on her Labia, "huh they let you all talk dirty in here"... I had a lovely young lady come in and tell me she had a boil on her PUBLIC AREA ( not pubic and probably not a mispronunciation the way she was acting)..... she at least tried bless her little loose heart.

Now you adults in the privacy of your own home make up all the names you want. Mr. Wiggly can play with Mutt, Jeff and Ms. tweedy bird ( don't be coy I know you can figure that out) but when you enter the ER.... PLEASE use the correct term.

Saving lives and good karma

In the past couple of years I have saved two lives that in the grand scheme of things may not seem important but I wonder how my intervention changed the course of the lives that I touched. The first was a drowning victim that I single-handedly rescued from the water and the second was a small life that would have been snuffed out after a suicidal leap from a distance five times the height of the victim in an attempt to escape his pursuers.

A few years back I was at work and had to use the bathroom. I went into the john and discovered to my dismay that a mouse was swimming in the toilet. It had fallen down from the off kilter ceiling tile. Trust me when I tell you that it was only by the Almighty's grace that I just didn't pull the drawers down and sit like I normally do... this time I just happened to look over my shoulder and caught sight of Mr. Mouse. I am quite sure the mouse was ever so grateful as well. I was in a dilemma...to flush or not to flush. I watched it for a while...just swimming around. Thought about it and came out to ask my co-worker her opinion. She look at me like I was NUTS and said flush it. You know, something just held me back. I made up my mind that if in an hour the mouse was still alive.... I was getting him out. Exactly one hour later I went back in and it was heart breaking. Mouse's little nose and whiskers were the only thing above water... he was exhausted....his little legs were barely moving. I ran to get a urinal and scooped Mr. Mousie up and carried him outside to release him. I gently poured him out and he laid on his side for a minute and then jumped up, scampered off and just before he disappeared he turned around , sat up on his hind legs and just looked at me and I believe he waved his little front paw at me. It was a real woman-mouse communication moment.

Then last night I walked into work and my two co-workers were screaming like girls....(they are girls by the way)apparently Ms. Mousie jumped out of Georgette's purse as she was trying to find her keys and scampered across the desk.( wouldn't that just surprise the shit out of you?) It was headed toward the end of the desk and it leaped over ending up in the trash can. I took the plastic liner out and took Ms. Mousie outside and freed her before someone else could grab her and smash her little mouse head. I had another mouse communication moment.. She stopped, sat up on her hind legs and moved her whiskers..while looking at me. I am developing an unusual reputation around here..... but you know what?.... did any of you ever see Cinderella...hummmmmm....I did and I have never forgotten what those mice did for her...with the dress and all. How about the mouse on the Green Mile.... makes me cry every time I watch that movie.
I am building up all kinds of good mouse karma, you just never ever know.....