Thursday, October 11, 2007

ER Conversation, White Castles and Billy Graham

Dr. V. Boles, most excellent ER doc was on last night. During a lull we (Dr. B., Jill and me) were discussing serious medical things namely farting. For those of you who have NEVER worked in an Emergency Department, trust me when I tell you that farts are some of the more bland subjects that come up.... anyway the subject somehow went from gas passing to White Castles... I can't imagine how that connects( I am laughing hysterically here). For those of you Southerners who have never visited up north a White Castle is one of life's little treats. Nicknamed Rat burgers and slyders, they have been around since around 1920 and are little squares of beef with holes spaced in the meat (so they cook fast) on a bun that has been warmed on top of the cooking beef ( in the grease) covered with little stinky onions. They shove them in a box and you order at least 10 to eat by yourself. In high school, when out with your boyfriend, you ordered 2 because " you just couldn't eat anymore" then after the date you and your best friend headed back to the Castle and ordered 20 more and wolfed them down like little fat pigs. In the south they have a pale imitation called Crystal Burgers. Not the same folks, not even close. I am not going to argue with you because Rev. Billy Graham says the person with the experience is not at the mercy of a person with an argument. ( Billy meant a religious experience but the saying seemed so appropriate here) And lordy I have the experience ... I have probably had 1000 + rat burgers in my life and my kids will tell you I cannot drive by a White Castle and not stop... I think it has been hot wired into my DNA.... BUT(this is important here) I can drive by a Crystal and not stop. I enjoy a Crystal but its just not the same....... but I digress.... hugely from my topic.
When I mentioned White Castles, Dr. Boles told us a true story that happened to her as a resident. Apparently there was this huge lady who came to the ER via ambulance because she thought she had cancer and was rotting. Doc said she easily weighed 400+ pounds and overflowed the stretcher and when she passed she indeed smelled the rotten flesh. What Dr. Boles found when she examined her was a badly decomposed White Castle under her left breast that had infected the area under her breast and had caused the skin to slough off. A WHITE CASTLE.... why couldn't it have been a Big Mac or a Wendy's Single. Apparently ONE AND A HALF WEEKS earlier her family had come by and brought in dinner....... and she LOST one under her breast.!!!!!!!!!!! She said that it was obvious she didn't bathe much..... what gave them the first clue???...... ummmmm maybe the WHITE CASTLE UNDER HER TITTY..... gross, gross, gross.
It is going to take some time before I will be able to eat a rat burger without thinking about this story..... talk about an appetite killer.... too bad it couldn't have been liver and onions..... cause I hate liver and onions.


Carrie White said...

ONLY my Aunt Debbie can get away with telling a story that makes me laugh AND gag at the same time.

Susie said...

Thanks for the laugh. I have never eaten a White Castle burger and now I don't want to!!! Oh, BTW, Dallas still doesn't know the correct terminolgy for her "Girly Parts". Hope your there the next time we come in!!!

Mark and Robbon Heibel said...

Oh my gosh!!!! I laughed so hard I cried and then I couldn't catch my breath. I called Mark while I was reading it to get him to read it and he told me that I should stop so I wouldn't have the baby right now. VERY FUNNY and very disgusting. Mmmm....White Castles. Thank GOD I only eat the chicken rings there!!!