Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Kodak and Hands Don't Lie

I have had an ongoing war with the mirror. I am able to look in the mirror and pretty much see what I want to see. I am sure that any of you have had the experience of seeing a picture of yourself and thinking(if you are honest) 'I can't believe I look this bad,fat, old,tired, etc..... you get my drift. Mirrors are a reflection of yourself colored by who you think you are, your feelings about yourself and who you want to be. But I got to tell you all, Kodak doesn't lie. Years ago when fuchsia was a big color in the 80's, Stan and I went to a party. I bought a dress that the MIRROR told me was just beautiful on me. It was a clingy fuchsia number that made me feel really good about myself. I remember Stan telling me that I looked nice. We went to the party and I had my camera in tow and someone borrowed it to take a picture. The picture was of about 10 women sitting on the back of a very long couch... basically a butt view. When I had the pictures developed they had a violet tint to them and as I was scanning thru them I stopped at the pic of all the girls with their butts up against the back of the couch. I just couldn't place who the cow was in the purple dress.... I just knew she had a HUGE butt. I took my brain about 30 seconds to process that the COW was moi. I was horrified. I was not that huge. That's when I realized that mirrors lie and as stated earlier, Kodak doesn't.
Hands are also truth givers. My sister Barb used to pinch the top of her hands and the skin would sort of stay in the pinched position before it slid back down to the top of the hand. She would lament that it was a sure sign of aging. I look at my hands and see the swollen, misshaped joints and it reminds me of my mom. My hands hurt because of arthritis and I wake up after sleep and have trouble making them work without running them under hot water. Yep, despite what my mirror says my hands let me know each morning that I am getting older. But you know something, it really isn't so bad, these misshapen hands of mine. It is a visible reminder that I have spent years taking care of my family, writing volumes of nursing notes, knitting untold numbers of blankets, taking care of the sick, easing the pain of others, holding the hands of loved ones, clapping for my offspring's achievements, and last but not least held in prayer.
When I go out of my house feeling good about myself after looking in my mirror, it okay that I see someone different than what Kodak sees. I feel good about me and that is just fine.

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