Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Lapp/Gagney Party

I don't fly. Rather I don't fly well or often if can help it. I am of the school that if God wanted me to fly he would have given me wings. At any rate I decided to 'man up' and fly to West Palm Beach to my friend Jojo's house for a party. Her baby, Alexis(aka Bobo) was being feted at a baby shower by her sisters. Jojo and I decided that I would come in costume to fool her two other daughters, Tonya and Aggie. I purchased stretch pants 2 sizes too small, a pink top equally too small, a long brown wig, a hideous pink striped scarf that I used as a belt. Horrible plastic jewelry and big cheap sunglasses. I wore orange, pink and white wedgie heels to walk in. I also found a great stuffed pillow catfish and carried it with me as a gift from Stanley to the baby. I traveled in my scrubs and changed into my outfit when I got to Florida. In the bathroom as I was putting on my wig one woman asked me if I was hiding or running.... I was stunned.. I said you can't be serious,dressed like this carrying a 4 foot stuffed catfish. As I went out into the lobby area I saw a man who looked like Perry, Jojo's husband and he was laughing. Let me preface this huge mistake of identity on my part by telling you I had on my contacts and cheap sunglasses that distorted my vision somewhat. I walked over to the laughing 'Perry" waved my hand down my body stating 'you want som'a dis big boy' then when I got no immediate response(which should have been a clue) I said 'or do you want me to bite your wife on the ass'? Now before you judge me about the statements I will say that you have to know Perry and that both of those comments were not out of line. The man looks over to the older woman next to him and says I don't know, let me ask her. I was beyond horrified. I pulled my sunglasses off explained I really couldn't see well and that I thought he was someone else as I was backing away... before I could get arrested for solicitation. Needless to say I did surprise Tonya and Aggie.

Above is a picture of Bobo, me, Aggie, Jojo, and Tonya.. oh and Calvin the catfish.Jojo arranging a mound of wonderful baby gifts.
Perry, the host with the most and his mom Muriel
The expectant parents.
The party was great fun with fabulous food cooked by the baby daddy mama Susie( or the paternal grandmother to be). They had an assortment of games but the best was the name tags. The girls made little diaper name tags with names associated with childbirth and conception on each 'diaper'. Names like vagina, rectal tear, meconium, mucous plug, penis, sperm, ova, breast, bloody show ... you get the drift. During the shower you had to address each person by their new name. If you used their real name you had to drop money in a basket to be collected at the end of the shower and given for the baby. Oh and we drank out of baby bottles which great gramma's Muriel and Rose felt was the best idea. You don't spill on yourself... personally I find it great for champagne.

All in all it was a great weekend, with wonderful food, great friends, and all for a happy occasion. Jojo and Perry have made their home a place where all feel welcome and part of the family. I was nostalgic as I looked at Bobo with her baby belly remembering, that I held her as a baby. I had a neon sign flashing in my head that said you are getting old. Getting old isn't so bad especially surrounded by family and friends like family. Jojo you are blessed in your children and their mates. I echo Muriel's statement to me when she said that you and Perry were made for each other. I am happy that my friend of nearly 30 years after kissing a few frogs, finally found her prince and soul mate and that he is willing to open his arms and home to your assortment of friends.... however odd!!!! I love you both.

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