Christmas Letter 2013

I used to be so very good about sending out Christmas cards mainly because I loved getting them. I have let that go years ago and my mailbox is not as heavy as it used to be.    My favorite cards contained a letter from the sender about what had transpired in their life in the past year.  Not to diminish any person who sends me a letter but my hands down favorite Christmas letter sender is my niece Carrie White.  I usually end up laughing till I am crying because she is so honest that not everything is fabulous as some would have you believe!  I am sending this blog in lieu of my Christmas cards... I know I can feel the eye rolls from here but I am long on desire and short on time.  My tree isn't even up yet so bear with me.

This year has gifted me with two grandsons.  My daughter Rebekah gave birth to Winston Charles in May  and my daughter in law Sydni gave birth to Aries in November.  Both were big boys and are of course beautiful.  I have a granddaughter from Josh and Syd named Allison River who is the spitting image of her daddy.  I understand now what the big deal about being a grandma is all about.   I sit for Winston on my off days and every day brings about changes.  He discovered that his wrists twist a few weeks ago..  only a grandma would find that hysterical and give proof just how intelligent he is.

Rebekah is a nurse practitioner working in a clinic and loves her job but is acutely aware of the negative changes affecting our health care.  Joshua is still teaching dance now at the Acadiana School of the Performing Arts and based on a few videos he has recently posted still has that special "thing" that makes him so great at what he does.

Stan is retired and busy at hunting, and babysitting.  I am still working in the Emergency Department at St. Martin Hospital in Breaux Bridge and love my job.  I just had my 62 birthday a week ago and a very BRILLIANT and ASTUTE  patient told me the other night that I looked like I was in my early 50's.  I love patients like that!

I have been on a diet since a year ago November. I started the diet 2 weeks before we took our last year's cruise and told my nurse practitioner Aimee Guidry that I was NOT dieting on a cruise and for that matter was not dieting during the week before and just after Christmas.  I really like this diet but I love Christmas goodies. I also cook a Christmas feast that swims in butter.  I have lost a considerable amount of weight and I am proud of that fact however I do cheat.  I should have lost 100lbs by this time.  Here we are at Christmas again AND I just got back from a cruise and I gained a few pounds It's a great diet but it has no room for cheating.  The thing is that I feel so much better when I follow the program.  I have more energy and my joints don't hurt.  I will be at my goal by June.

Our Christmas is actually going to on Christmas this year. I am off for the first time in about 4 to 5 years.  We are still going to do it all on Christmas Eve with the dinner and present opening just after.  This year is going to be fun because I got to buy toys again now for the grand kids.

I have been writing this over the last few days and I am now taking a break from picking up the clutter in my house so that I can get ready to re-clutter it with Christmas decorations.  In the past I was always decorated by the middle of November but with the cruise and work I had delayed the removal of all 27 boxes from the attic and closets.  I suggested to Rebekah that since she has the big beautiful house that she host the Christmas celebrations.  She seemed reluctant and now I am glad.  There will come a time(and I can feel it getting closer) that she will be the family hostess for big celebrations but for now I am still the Queen.  Next year I will go all out because the grand kids will be older but  this year I will count myself lucky if I can get up just one tree, get batteries in all the singing animals, position my collection of Santa statues,  and set out 3 or 4 nativity sets.   Jill Mary Forbes is coming over as I type to help me decorate.  For the past several years she has given me the valuable gift of her time for my birthday present to help me get ready for Christmas.   I have cookies to bake and presents to wrap, I wonder if she can stay for a week?

I am making an effort to get this out before Christmas so this should be my last installment.  Jill and I did the house and while it doesn't have half the stuff I have accumulated over the years it still looks like Christmas. I have not really baked because I had to return to work last Wednesday so I will bake after Christmas for my work peeps.  I STILL have not wrapped a single present and I work until the morning of the 24th. I will shop for the traditional casseroles tomorrow on the way home from work and tonight I am leaving early to go get the rest of the stocking stuffers for all my "kids". My plan is to prep all the food on the 23 and leave detailed instructions for Stan on how and when to put them in the oven on Christmas Eve.  I have to pick up the table cloths at the cleaners and set the table and dust off the good china.  This is my holiday and I love it even though I am wondering how I will get it all done in time and still get in a nap.

In all the bustle of the holiday please keep your focus on the Child in the manger who was born to save man.  As the saying goes Jesus is the reason for the season and in all of our gift giving keep your focus on Him.  We are facing prophetic  times that are frightening and our purpose and our Lord are under attack from all sides.  It is not popular to be a Christian and our nation is  so focused on being politically correct that saying Merry Christmas is considered verboten because it might offend your neighbor.  Tough.  MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone.

As you read this I want to request at end prayers for several of my face book friends who are battling cancer.  Please pray for God to heal Susie Stelly and Bob Phillips. I have several friends who are struggling with financial issues and depression.  God can and will answer the prayers of believers and I thank you for the time you will take to pray for my friends.

The best gift I can give you is love.  So this Christmas I send all of you an abundance of love and know that I will pray for your needs and rest assured that this next year God will move in your life.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Welcome to the World Aries Hart

My son Joshua Hart and his wife Sydni had their second child this afternoon.   Sydni is doing well after the delivery of this big boy who was 8lbs 11oz and nearly 21 inches long. This beautiful boy is welcomed into the world by his grandparents Debbie and Stan Higginbotham, Stephanie and Kurt Bourg, and Steven and Peggy Hart.  He joins his older sister Allison and his cousin Winston Garrard into my immediate family and I cannot wait for them all to play together.  God is truly good and has blessed me in such a lovely way.  Babies are the hope of a better tomorrow and bring such joy to those around them.  May God bless this baby and keep him safe.  Congratulations Josh and Syd, he is just beautiful!!

Bully For You

If we all examine our childhood we can look back at times when we faced a bully or two.  If that never happened to you than you need to ask yourself if you were the one who was a bully.  I remember being accosted in the bathroom by two girls wanting to know if I was going to vote for Barry Goldwater.  Really.  I was in 7th grade and  pretty clueless about everything except horses.  I had no clue who Barry Goldwater was at the time and I know that I was scared out of my mind.  But now that I am a news and history junkie I can safely say from my armchair  50 years later  Hell yes I would have voted for him.  They tag teamed me and intimidated me and it has stayed with me all these years.  I can remember other events that while cruel were not necessarily bullying in the present day sense.  In grade school I was a little chubby(I am issuing a loud snort here) and remember Alan Weidemier calling me "Baby Huey" after the fat cartoon duck.  I was crushed and maybe depressed because in my young eyes he was pretty cute.  So I can safely say that ugly comments designed to hurt our feelings and bullying is nothing new.  What is new is our availability to social media and the widespread damage it can cause.  If Alan had texted to all of his buddies or put on Facebook that I looked like Baby Huey that comment would have fostered all kinds of cruel  comments from people who never even met me.   I grieve for the parents of children who were victim of senseless cruelty from their peers.  That their only outcome was suicide is even more tragic.  So what happens to the little darlings that hounded these victims.  They are free to grow up, marry, have children and live their life.  I can't even come up with a punishment for these bullies that is  bad enough that would satisfy me.  What is amazing is that the parents of the perpetrators  are in denial that their little darlings could have possibly done something so horrendous.  I love my social media outlet.  I am a Facebook junkie and cannot wait to see what others have posted.  It is a fact that our children get caught up in the same addiction and that most will not go against the "popular" in-group to  defend a person who is being online bullied.   I can remember feeling in junior high that I would rather not be noticed and that anonymity  is like a warm blanket. To be ignored is so much better than to be targeted for the clothes I wear or how my hair looks or the shape of my body.   Today that same feeling has to be ten times worse.  Our job as parents and grandparents is to teach our offspring that it is not enough to ignore hateful comments about others but to take a stand to defend those who are weaker.  We have to be able to instill such a feeling of self worth that the barbs of others cannot send our children reeling into the abyss of self loathing that ends in suicide. As a grandparent my feelings are the same as when I was a parent only 10 times more developed.  I will want to lay waste to anyone who would dare bully Winston, Allison or Aries.  But I cannot fight their battles because they need to be able to take a verbal hit and remain intact emotionally to grow into adults.  I can stand by and offer my arms to hold them when their feelings are hurt and can teach them to defend those weaker.  I will teach them to look at each person as an individual and not weigh their worth against the 'popular' group.  I will pray that each of my grandchildren will offer the hand of friendship to those deemed "less"  and that their kindness will be a light in the darkness for another child in need. I  pray that my grandchildren will learn that their value is not measured in what others think or write about them but what they have in their hearts and what they feel about themselves. 

As a final comment Proverbs 18:21      Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.   

Happy Birthday Rebekah

She was my gift 32 years ago on this day.  Every time I look at her I am in awe of just what Stan and I created with our mix of genes.  She has always had an outlook on life that was unique and can look at any situation and clearly see a path that needs to be taken.  Rebekah was independent from early years when she insisted on dressing herself at the age of 2.  That independence and goal driven personality has carried her successfully through her life.  I am so proud of the woman she has become. She struggled in school and never ever gave up and now is a Master's prepared Family Nurse Practitioner.  I am in awe of her knowledge and praise God for her innate compassion that makes her patients and friends love her. This year she became a mother and my heart is so full each time I see her with her Winston.  She is wife to Shane, mom to Winston, sister to Joshua, and daughter to me and Stan.


Rebekah you are so very special to  many people but to me, your loving mom,  you are my dearest daughter.  Happy happy birthday  sweetheart.

My Name is Debbie and I am a Prepper

  Michael Crichton wrote a book years ago called "State of Fear" the premise being that situations can be "tweeked"  to make people afraid thus furthering a particular agenda and to simply keep the cash flow going from a gullible public. The Jakarta Pandemic by Steven Konkoly follows the survival of a single family during a true pandemic and is frightening because it is in the realm of possibility.   No one will ever ask me to do a book review but I will tell you that the books were excellent and had the  underlying truth that most individuals will do anything to protect ourselves if at all possible even if it is an exercise in futility.  I can remember in elementary school kneeling under desks or in the hallway with our hands on the back of our neck in the "tuck and duck" position.  Now this was supposed to protect us from a bomb attack.  I believe that this was during the Bay of Pigs incident and no one questioned just how stupid this was. My mother was impressed that the schools were being so proactive and I remember thinking that if I would follow the exercise that I would survive.  A. Nuclear. Attack. Boy were we dumb but we practiced almost daily.  Every hospital I have ever worked  had practice disaster drills. For years we practiced plane, train, and bus accidents involving mass causalities.  They were useful and in my career I have participated in 2 real life mass casualty situations and I was grateful for the preparation. The tone of our emergency preparation has changed in that we now practice radiation poisoning, decontamination and treatment for chemical weapons.  I do at least one online educational program a year about chemical weapons. What I know without a doubt is that we are all unprepared for a true national disaster that would interrupt the delivery of food, the flow of water, the ability to receive medical care and electricity.  Think Hurricane Katrina and expand it to cover a whole region of the US or the entire country if you really want to be depressed. I believe that the general public will be reduced to its lowest form..... again look at Katrina and see what happened to the unprepared people of New Orleans.  The thing about hurricanes however is that you have ample warning to get the hell out of town.  If we would be hit with a true pandemic or an E-bomb(electromagnetic bomb) we would be thrust back to a time where there was no modern conveniences, like food delivered from all over the country to stock our local grocery  shelves, or electricity and to go along with the electricity NO AIR CONDITIONING OR HEATING, refrigeration, water flowing into our homes and an end to perishables that we take for granted.  Anything controlled by a computer will fail.  How would you care for your family or even yourself?  I imagine a large portion of people will assume that the government will care for them.  After all they are certainly caring for a huge amount of people in the form of food stamps and welfare. Good luck with that.  What people don't think about is that there will be no food to use your stamps on. If a major national disaster happened the stores would empty out of everything faster than poop through a goose.  What can you do as a responsible individual to protect your family or even yourself. Well, glad you asked... you can prepare.  Prepare for the worst and pray for the best.  Looking on line I went to a government site and was greatly amused at their advice.   The following is copied directly from www. ready.gov/make-a-plan

Water, one gallon of water per person per day for at least three days, for drinking and sanitation

Food, at least a three-day supply of non-perishable food

Battery-powered or hand crank radio and a NOAA Weather Radio with tone alert and extra batteries for both

Flashlight and extra batteries

First aid kit

Whistle to signal for help

Dust mask to help filter contaminated air and plastic sheeting and duct tape to shelter-in-place

Moist towelettes, garbage bags and plastic ties for personal sanitation

Wrench or pliers to turn off utilities

Manual can opener for food

Local maps

Cell phone with chargers, inverter or solar charger

They forgot the guns and the ammo to protect that huge supply of food you have amassed. But then in our current political correct environment gun owners are considered a lower life form. Considering the government is trying to take our guns away they couldn't very well list the need for self protection on their preparation list.     Well if this list makes you feel better then by all means get it together it is better than nothing at all. You need to consider that after the three days of supplies you have collected what are you going to do for day 4 till however long? There are many sites on line to assist you in getting prepared for a national disaster.  Keep in mind the owners of these sites and stores are getting rich on our fears.  I personally don't mind paying for information and for assistance in getting prepared but I am certain there will be those "grasshoppers" who will play and not prepare like ant in Aesop's fable. Keep in mind that those grasshoppers will feel entitled to what you have saved.    I have many friends who are taking preparation seriously and they are perfectly sane individuals from all walks of life who recognize that we are living in perilous times.   There are others who think that the preppers are nuts.  I for one will err on the side of caution.  If the worst happens then I want to be able to feed and protect  my family.

9/11/2013 Twelve Years Later

It has been twelve years since we became survivors.  In those twelve years we have watched as the specter of terrorism has grown like a cancer.  Yes Osama is dead but like the  Lernaean Hydra, one head was cut off and two more have taken its place.  We can never rest and never  forget.  Our president stated that we have al-Qaeda on the run.  al-Qaeda has become synonymous with terrorism for most Americans  and whether they, as an individual group,  have recovered their funds and strength is not really  known but like the Hydra there are dozens of other terrorist groups who have sprung up from the ashes of Osama with the purpose of destroying our way of life.  Last year  Ambassador Christopher Stevens, Glen Doherty, Sean Smith and Ty Woods were murdered in terrorist attack on our diplomatic mission in Benghazi, Libya.  They have never had justice, there has been no closure for their families.  There has only been ongoing lies by our administration to cover their mistakes.  In the past twelve years we have ongoing assaults on the second Amendment, we have an out of control government bent on making us dependent, people are fined and threatened arrest for flying the American Flag and Christianity is under fire from all sides.  Patriots are viewed as  gun toting morons by many students in colleges where  liberalism  is king and love for the Republic is outdated.  Many view our Constitution as old fashioned and needing improvement to keep up with the times.  Our freedom of speech is slowly eroding and being political correct is more important than being honest.

We are on the cusp of momentous change and we can only took to the past to see what our future will hold if we do not limit our government and hold them responsible for the lies  that have plagued this administration.  We have to stop the eroding our  freedoms.  We cannot  sit on the side and expect someone else to take care of what is our responsibility.  We have to teach our children what our forefathers fought and died achieving.  We have to remember the past to protect our future. 

He Got Some Balls: Too Little Too Late

It amazes me that as of 9/11/2013 a year has gone by and still we have no answers to what happened in Benghazi, Libya.  We have no answers as to why 4 Americans were deserted by their country's administration and left to die at the hands of terrorists.  Ambassador Chris Stevens repeatedly begged for help from the Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton and was ignored.  The President was God knows where doing God knows what. Then the lies started by the State Department about a stupid tape.  Our President did nothing except send the FBI in a MONTH later to assess the crime scene.  They should have stopped by the White House and watched the tape that was done live.  The four people who were "held responsible" have quietly been reassigned to other jobs instead of being fired.  The Benghazi whistle-blowers were smeared by this Administration.  Outright lies were being told by Obama's staff and to date no one was held responsible.  Go forward a year and we have Syria and the chemical attacks on their own people.  Obama states that  he has "high confidence" that  Syrian President Bashar al-Assad's regime committed this act while Assad  says rebel forces were behind the chemical weapons attack.  He has no credibility.  I wouldn't trust Obama or anyone from his Administration to pass me the salt over dinner.   Over a year ago Obama STATED on record that his "red line" in Syria would be if Assad used chemical weapons.  Now, on record, he stated that he didn't say that.....it's the worlds red line.  He now has decided to take it to congress before he slaps the hand of Assad. He suddenly developed balls and wants to send missiles into Syria but feels that he needs Congress to agree.  What he needs is someone to blame because he really can't lay this at Bush's door.  No American was killed in Syria but he wants to go in further arm the rebel "freedom" fighters and depose Assad.  Libya was never held accountable for our American deaths.  Those who know me know that I am by nature a hawk.  I believe that we should have gone in and laid waste to Libya.  I do not believe we should go into Syria, we do not have a dog in this fight.  Who will be left to run Syria? Should we support the rebels who have strong al-Qaida backing ? The terrorist group Jabhat al-Nusra,  part of the Syrian rebels, attacked the largely Christian village Maaloula.  The rebels have strong radical Islamic leanings and if they are allowed to take over we will likely have yet another country run by the brotherhood.  Honestly there are no good answers.  Iran is threatening to attack Israel if we attack Syria. My bet would still be on Israel if that happens however  I think we need more answers, a clear head, and a leader who can lead.  We do not have that in Obama.  He is a Islamic sympathizer.  Our military forces are depleted and moral is poor.  Obama is not a friend to our military.  No one can argue this.  Look at this administrations attitude of the attack on Ft. Hood.  Major Nidal Hasan opened fire on his own military and killed 13 and injured more than 30 others.  This was labeled as work place violence instead of a terrorist attack even though this man, a Jihadist,  bowed his head then shouted "Allahu Akbar " when he opened fire.  Because it was work place violence our service people were denied Purple Hearts which includes veterans' medical benefits and increased disability compensation.

The fact is we do not know what is going on in Syria and who did what to whom. The rebels are as violent as Assad even though Secretary of State Kerry states that  of the nearly 100,000 "oppositionists" in Syria  at the most only 20 percent were extremists. Mr. Kerry in case you forgot only 19 terrorists took control of 4 airplanes and brought down the World Trade Center, part of the Pentagon, and crashed into the ground in Pennsylvania all told killing over 3000 Americans.  So Mr. Kerry 20,000( in your words) "bad guys" scare the shit out of me.  I have stated before that my heart broke when I saw the videos of the poor babies that were subjected to the sarin gas.  This upset people everywhere but yet we murder thousands of babies a year here in America.  They just aren't born yet so I guess that's okay according to our President.   

Happy First Birthday Allison River Hart

One year ago August 1st my son and my daughter in law went on vacation and brought back Allison.  Allison is my first grandchild and was born about 6 weeks early, she was so very tiny I was afraid that she would break.  She is now an independent little princess who knows that she is adored by all and rules her subjects with a smile.  She looked so much like her pretty mama when she was little but now she is all her daddy.  Sydni jokingly calls her JJ for Joshua junior and she is a mini-me!  Her birthday was held at her granny B's and her guests dinned  on cotton candy, cupcakes, popcorn, slushy drinks, cookies and fruit.  Her great-great grandma was there as well as aunts, uncles, great aunts and uncles,  family friends and relatives.  Her papa Stan and I got her a rocking princess carriage and I think that I was more excited than she was.  So to my son and daughter-in-law my eternal thanks for the wonderful gift of Allison.  She gives me hope and reminds me what innocence is and how precious that is.  And to Allison:  Happy birthday precious girl and many many many more!

Demi The Wonderdog

Demi died last night after I left for work.  I stayed as long as I could with her because she rarely left my side when I needed her and I felt that I could do no less.  She was able to slowly walk and made her way into the guest bathroom to lay on the rug in there, I think to be away from us.  Stan and I were both crying and I wonder if that bothered her.  I knelt down with her and held her head in my hands and let her breathe my breath as I told her how much I loved her and how much I was going to miss her.  She was not focused on my face and I realized that she couldn't see.  She rested her head against my hands and relaxed.  Stan said that after I left that he couldn't leave her alone so he got a book and put the lid down on the toilet to sit with her and pet her so that she wouldn't go alone.  He said it wasn't long after that she had a seizure, relaxed and stopped breathing. He took her to the back yard and buried her near the Fig tree that he had planted.   I cannot express the grief that I am feeling over the loss of my sweet Demi-doo and wonder how I will sleep without her. 

Demi was my son's dog purchased for his birthday many years ago and came to live with us because he couldn't keep her where he was living.  I didn't put up much of a fight because I adored her.  He had trained her to hand commands and she was generally a very obedient dog.  He also trained her to sleep whenever he slept and so she fit in to my odd night hours.  Whenever I would come in after work in the morning she would eat, go out, then come in and race to the hall by my bedroom and wait for me.  All I had to say was "bed" and she would race into my room and hop up on her side of the bed and settle in.  When I would get in she would press her forehead against my cheek or neck and press as hard as she could while trying to lick me.  It was a ritual with her.  I am so going to miss that.  For all that she loved me she still loved Joshua more.  Stan would hear him drive up and tell her " your boy is here" and she would race to the door to greet him.  She love to ride in the car and both of us would take her to the store, the bank, or just to run errands.  She was the princess and we were her subjects.

While at work last night my mind kept coming back to the single question of why do we put ourselves thru this grief to own and love a pet that has a life expectancy of less than 12 years?  The only thing I can come up with is that a dog is love.  They are unconditionally your friend and protector for the cost of a dry bed and food.  They give us so very much for so very little.  I think that God put dogs on this earth and in the path of man to teach us humanity, devotion, loyalty, and unconditional love.  They are sort of like furry heavenly emissaries sent to fill the empty spots in our hearts that we did not even know needed filling. 

I  believe that when I die that Demi will  be there waiting for me along with a host of other dogs that I have loved and lost. She will be waiting across that Rainbow Bridge and when it is my time she will come racing across the field to greet me and show me the way to heaven.

Winston Charles Garrard May 13, 2013

I am a tad bit  slow in posting and I blame it on facebook.  Every time I burp it manages to make it's way to my FB update. It is a bigger effort to post a blog but actually more satisfying for me because I do love to write.  I will endeavor to post more and FB less.  I was 60 years old and did not have a grandchild to my name.  I am now 61 and before I am 62 will have 3 in my family.  Allison River was born August 1, 2012 and is such a sweet little baby.  She has a sunny disposition and is such a blessing.   Rebekah announced last October that she was pregnant when she took us all out for her birthday.  I was stunned.  She was nearly 3 months at that time.  She continued to work up until it was time for her to deliver.  She went a week over from her estimated due date of 5/7 and had Winston naturally at Lafayette General Medical Center.  He weighed 8 pounds and 11 ounces and was 20 inches long.  Benny and Frances Garrard, Stan and I, and Meagan Arceneaux kept a vigil with her until she got ready to deliver and then she wanted Shane to be the only one in attendance.  Well Shane and about 5 LGMC staff members and Dr. Bourque but still it was private.  He came out crying and as Frances and I stood outside the door it hit me that this little boy will be the continuation of the Garrard name.  He is a genetic compilation of some really great stuff from both sides of the family and I can't wait to see him grow.  So now for this blog a week after he was born he is doing well, nursing  "constantly" has pooped as needed, he is the apple of his parents eyes and likes the light on when he sleeps.  He lost 10 ozs after he left the hospital and on his first check he gained an ounce back.. Becky says that at this next check if he hasn't gained two pounds she will be surprised.  So welcome Winston to our family.  You are so very, very loved.

Happy 36th Joshua Edward Hart

I am just amazed that my "baby" boy has a baby.  I guess it is time I stop referring to  this wonderful man as my baby.  I posted several pictures of Allison on face book and one response was from Georgia Satterfield Shimkus.  Georgia commented that she bet that Joshua didn't remember her.  Probably not but I do and can tell so many stories that Georgia took part in.  She was his other mom when I lived in Pensacola and my favorite story will be told here in honor of Joshua's birthday. We took Joshua to a department store and he was running around like crazy.  He was fascinated by the mannequins and kept trying to talk to them.  He was about 2 and kept saying "yaydee, yaydee,  (lady)hellooooo   yaydee.  When he couldn't get the "yaydee's" attention he reached up  causing the "yaydee" to lose an arm and knocked over pieces ruining the display.  He then ran through all the  racks until finally a floor manager came up just as I caught up with him and had him in my arms.  Georgia and I were standing there and the man told us to get control of Josh or basically leave.  I thrust Joshua into Georgia's surprised arms and told her that she needed to get him under control and I walked away.  I can still see her face.  I laughed all the way out.  Oh Joshua you were my heart and joy as a child.  I was in amazement at every milestone.  You talked in sentences before you were one, you walked at 9months, you were full of hugs and kisses all day long.  You have grown into a complicated, dedicated man of who I am so very proud.  You have kept your loving heart and deep feelings.  I see you with Allison and know that you are such a wonderful father for her.  Who better to teach her about love than the man who as a child told me that he loved me more than all of the zebras, and grass, and stars in the world. A child who can love that MUCH  as a man can teach his daughter all about the vastness of love.   Every day in every way I love you so much and I am so proud of the man that you have become.  Happy happy birthday my dear son.  I love you more than all the stars in the sky!!!

Love, mama

Abortion and Dr. Gosnell

I have been preparing for my daughter's baby shower this April.  The preparations will be in another happier blog than this one I am writing.  I was shopping for ribbons for table decorations and was on my way home when I nearly got sick listening to the news while I was in my car.    I was thinking about how excited I am to meet my future grandson Winston when I keyed into a news report about an abortion doctor in Pennsylvania.  I was sick and found myself in tears as I was driving.  Dr. Kermit Gosnell an abortion doctor is on trial for murder in Pennsylvania. He performed early and late term abortions averaging 1000 a year. In Pennsylvania you can get an abortion up to 24 weeks.. and for you non medical peeps... a baby can survive at 24 weeks with our current medical capabilities( its not easy but it is possible). Dr. Gosnell services an inner city clinic and his staff performed illegal acts up to clipping the spinal cords of babies born.  One worker testified that the doctor commented on one delivery that the baby was "big enough to go out a catch a bus home".  I have written about my beliefs on abortion in earlier blogs and to repeat my stand is close to right to life but excluding when the mother's life is at risk.  I also believe that a woman who has been raped should take the pill offered in the ER to prevent conception.  That is my stand and does not include  when the "victim" at 6 months wants to terminate her pregnancy.  You don't want this baby then give it up.  I cannot wrap my mind around what this doctor has been allowed to do.  I also cannot understand how he had people willing to work with him.  He is a monster.  He is also black.  Why is that important.  His attorney has made it racial. Defense attorney Jack J. McMahon, described Dr. Gosnell as dedicated to treating the poor and accused prosecutors of racism — “a prosecutorial lynching” of his client,       

“It’s an elitist, racist prosecution,” Mr. McMahon said. “This black man is being taken because of who he is and where he works.”

 

So in answer to attorney McMahon: You moron.  You are an idiot to think that I give a crap what color this man's skin is in relation to the atrocities he has committed.  He is a monster and you are defending him.  I really hope that your dreams are haunted by the dead.  That should be your punishment for making this a racial issue and trying to steer the jury away from the fact that this man is a serial killer.  I don't care that he worked  in a poor neighborhood... bully for him.  We have free clinics here in Lafayette and we are not murdering babies.   In his "career" he has performed over 16 THOUSAND abortions.  He got more money for later term abortions because they take three days to do.  When he was interviewed by the FBI he had just finished up a case and was eating his dinner with his bloody latex gloves on and worse yet, the gloves had tears in them.  He also killed a patient because too much pain medication was administered for the patient weight.  The medication was given by an unqualified worker as well.  So this "saint" was taking care of the poor.. what a huge joke on the poor.  He was using out of date medication, unqualified personnel, and horrible hygiene.  The "poor" would have been better staying at home. 

 

I was talking with my sister about this and told her that not only am I angry at this so called doctor but I am equally angry at the women who would elect to terminate at a late date.  Their baby's heart is beating, his taste buds are formed he can feel pain.  So when you went through your 3 day procedure he was in pain and if he survived the ordeal as soon as he was born the staff stabbed him in the back of the neck to sever his spinal cord. You are equally as morally liable for murder as this doctor is legally.  I cannot find in my heart or mind any way to make your decision right. 

 

What have we become in this country that life has so little value, that our personal convenience has relevance over the life of a human.  God will judge us harshly for our callous hearts. 

 

The staff should do hard time for their participation in these horrors, they could have called the authorities and put a stop to all that happened.  Dr. Gosnell should be ABORTED... take that any way you want. 

Happy New Year 2013, Resolutions and Goals Oh My!

I went to bed last night thinking of what my resolutions would be this year.  It's tough being as how there are so many things that I need improving on.  Bear with me  as I go through the list.

1) Better bladder control:  This is a biggie.  As I have gotten older I have discovered just how important bladder control is.  I am not at the stage that when I laugh I have an "issue" but it is not far away.  During the night when I have to get up to pee I have to race to the toilet because for some reason my body is so relaxed that it is hard to make it on time.  I am fine laying flat but in the upright position gravity seems to be most powerful that time of night.  Likewise if I have left work (and I have emptied my bladder just before leaving mind you) the MINUTE I get home it's a race to the john.  My goal this year is to manipulate those pesky kegels at least 10 times a day and to invest in "Poise" products just in case my kegel muscles are so atrophied that it won't do any good. 

2) Be a goddess:  This is so happening.  I am so pumped about Medifast.  Many many thanks to my awesome nurse practitioner Aimee Guidry RN, ANP who convinced me that I have a healthy thin person inside of me.  This weight loss will create additional problems that I can foresee.  The weight loss is creating world class under-arm-dingle-dangles (or bat wings) that it will take about 15 grand for me to have surgically removed.  I could start to lift weights to take care of some of the problem but that seems like  a lot of trouble.  I am also concerned that men will be so awestruck at the new me that they will start to follow me and I will have to break hearts everywhere. What is a goddess to do? I will practice being demure, shy and averting my eyes as not to inspire lust.  I will also not wear mini-skirts and 5" heels and tube tops. 

3) Control my mouth:  This is a toughie given that I work in the ER and everyday in every way people come in who just make me want to roll my eyes and pop off with a sarcastic comment.  With the new health care initiative we cannot be sarcastic, we cannot roll our eyes, we cannot tell you just how stupid you are because if you aren't happy we don't get paid. So if you come strolling into the ER and you have a bevy of cats following you like they are following a shrimp fisherman I cannot suggest that you bathe for fear you will give me a bad report.  I am learning by the hardest and I am doing it.  It exhausts me.  I have been blessed by a good group of regular patients who depend on my honesty and do not get offended when I tell them what they need to do to get well.  It's the ones that BEG for  one-liners that just kill me.  I am practicing the teeth-gritted-together grin.  It serves a purpose of keeping my mouth shut and providing a socially acceptable facial expression that is non-committal.  They cannot control what I am saying to myself in my head so I have to be happy with that.  BTW you DO NOT have roaches in your liver.  YOU HAVE CIRRHOSIS.  It is a colonoscopy not a COLONOPOLIS.

4) Shave my legs:  Boy I just hate doing that.  It takes time and it irritates my skin on my legs.  I looked at my legs at work the other night and realized that the 1" hair just has to go.  It is time for my annual GYN exam anyway and I usually shave around that time so my doctor doesn't think he is doing a pelvic on a gorilla.  Also to meet goal 2 I will have to take better care of myself.  To meet this goal I will a) have to move to Europe where it is considered in vogue to have hairy legs or b) to suck it up and once a week run my lady Bic over the 50 remaining hairs that I have.

5) Stop the expletives:  I admit it, I have a mouth like a sailor and I don't want my grandchildren to start repeating what I say.  It is so hard coming up with something that carries the same "oomph" as "bite me you jackass".  My worse offending word is F***.  My mother would be rolling in her grave if she knew how many times a day I say that.   In keeping with goal 2 a goddess should never use that word. Gosh, shoot, goodness are all acceptable words.  I am going to have to wean myself and possibly wash my mouth out with soap.... can you imagine just how fucking awful that would be.

Okay that is it for the new year.  If you are a reader please leave me a comment at the end of this blog to let me know what resolutions that you are striving for because as they say misery loves company. 

Christmas at the Higginbotham's. Very Late Entry.

We had Christmas at our home after the holiday.  My children and my granddaughter Allison, Taunte Jill, Stan and I celebrated a gastronomical event that I spent 2 days making.  I had a blast. Christmas dinner is the only meal I really spend time cooking and I love the "sameness" of the menu.  I learned this year the the sweet potato casserole was back in vogue as it is now a pregnancy "super food" according to my daughter.  I sent almost the whole thing home with her.  The only hitch was that I over cooked the meat.  $170 of rib roast and I cooked it about 20 minutes to long.  Oh well.  If I was perfect I wouldn't be so very lovable. I decorated the table cleaned the crystal and we chowed down.  Afterwards we opened the stockings and the few presents that I had purchased.  I cannot stand a bare tree skirt.  Something has to be sitting on it and under the tree.  I took our family on a cruise again this year and that was their Christmas gift but I still had to have stocking stuffers and very few other little things.  I know that this year I wasn't as "into" it as I normally am.  Part of the problem is that we went on a cruise over Thanksgiving and that is my prime decorating time.  When I got home Jill and I put up the tree, got the lights on and put a few items around but I wasn't feeling the spirit.  I had to work the next few days and then I got sick and was down for the count for about 5 days.  I just didn't get up the energy to put everything out.  Next year will be different.  I will have two grand babies to enthrall with my decorations and things that move and sing.  I will start the middle of November and open all the boxes, put out all the nativity scenes, put batteries in all the animals that sing and it will look like a wonderland! This year Allison, carried by her great Taunte Jill was shown the few singing animals that I had out.  I have to say that she seemed fascinated and did not cry ( that is because she is very appreciative of all things Christmas) this bodes well for future years of visual delights!

I spent two weeks prior to our holiday baking cookies for gifts and attempting my mother's fudge recipe.  How hard can it be to combine 3 cups of sugar, 3/4 cups of Hershey's cocoa and milk.  You stir it till it boils,  then let it boil unattended for about 30 minutes .  All that is easy, the tough part is watching the temperature and getting it to the "soft ball" stage at about 234 degrees.  You let it sit and then after it cools you stir it till it loses it's gloss.  What ever that means.  All I know is that between one stir and the next you pass from fudge straight to cement. I wasted a lot of sugar to bring the memory of my mother's fudge to the table.  I expected my children to swoon in appreciation. Not so much.  They are into creamy fudge and I like the kind that has a grainy quality. 

It is important to me to continue with traditions.  I want Allison and future baby Garrard to be excited to come to grandma's house.  I will raise them  on their Great-grandma Ina's fudge and not let them get ruined by that creamy stuff.  I want to live long enough to pass things on to them that I hold dear to my heart.  I want my traditions to mingle with those that their parents will start so that they will hold the best of both inside their hearts.  I look forward to telling them about the baby that was born in a manger in Bethlehem.  I want them to grow knowing that Jesus is the reason that we celebrate the Christmas season. 

 To all of you from the Higginbothams, Harts, Garrards, and Forbes we wish you a very merry belated Christmas and a Happy New Year.