Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Dogs, forks and ice cream



We have three dogs. Demi, my sons' dog is a boxer, Bently an English Bulldog and Elizabeth another English Bulldog. Demi is by far the most intelligent and, I swear to you, understands just about everything you say to her. Joshua has her trained to voice and hand commands.... not by any special training but just by talking to this lovely animal..she watches him and nearly always anticipates everything he is wanting or thinking about. Bently is a credit to his breed in that he is a gregarious animal and great family dog. Elizabeth is the BABY.... and she is stinking spoiled rotten by Stan. My husband Stan is a very rational, clean, sensible individual EXCEPT when it comes to his baby, Elizabeth. Elizabeth can do no wrong....or if she does, the wrongness of what she does is greatly reduced by how cute she is doing it. She devours the tassels off of his shoes and he smiles. She tears magazines and newspapers up and he is mellow. She spends most of her day on top of or beside Stan if he is home. She likes pretty much everyone but she ADORES Stanley. Stan feeds her off of a spoon and or fork. The first time I saw him do this I was stunned ...... this is so unlike Stanley... and gives a whole new meaning to feeding from the table. Now to be fair he shares with the other dogs as well. When I saw him first do this I nearly peed myself laughing. The older dogs were sitting on the floor at his feet and Elizabeth was on the couch next to him. They never took their eyes off him and his large bowl of ice cream... I called names, yelled at them and no one moved a muscle.... eyes shifted slightly to see if per chance I might have some food but darted back to Stanley... the person currently holding their favorite food. To be honest...their favorite food is anything that you have. I believe that they think if a human eats it it has to be better than Pedigree. Stanley took his spoon and gave a bite to Elizabeth which she snorted off the spoon not spilling a drop. Next came Bentley... with the same result. Demi is last and she is more delicate and she is quite frankly a DOG so she licked the spoon resulting in a ice cream plop on the floor which Bently ate. Stan was upset with Demi because she couldn't eat from a spoon..."the other dogs do it...why can't she"... My first thoughts: well she is a DOG..... they don't have opposing thumbs and most dogs I am aware of (please correct me if I am wrong) don't use silverware to scoop up kibbles. The BABY thinking she missed a turn takes her paw and gently taps Stan on the arm or stomach..... as if to say.... HEY YOU MISSED ME.... FEED ME I'M the BABY!!!!!! I was vaguely insulted for Demi who is really the smartest dog in Carencro if not the whole state of Louisiana so for the next WEEK when i should have been in bed early I was teaching her on the sly to eat off a fork and spoon....never even questioned myself about the logic or sanity of my actions. As I am writing this I am thinking about my friend Dr. Kay McGuire, DVM..... she used to have this HUGE sigh accompanied by a world class eye roll when she came upon something stupid or someone who was behaving like an ass... I know that if she is reading this what she is doing..... hope her eyes don't lock. To end this dear friends know that Demi is still more delicate with silverware but can eat off a fork and spoon like a champ. I don't spoil my dogs like Stanley does.... the only treat they get from me is sugar free/fat free whipped cream in a can. .... don't get grossed out... they have their own can... I squirt it out of the can about 3 feet above their heads( the aerosol is bad for them i am sure!!!) and they snatch it out of the air.

No comments: