Stanley and Presents

It was a good day yesterday and I thought that I should at least mention part of the reason why. Stanley without a peep got up as soon as I got home and took me to the mall at about 8am to catch the early AM sales to finish off our shopping for our late Christmas. I really was to tired to drive alone and I didn't have any gas and he needed to see that my oil was out and then he would take care of that for me. Sure as shoot he got in the car and said, "you need gas". Then the oil thingy went off and he said "I need to go get your oil changed" Now I know that irritates the snot out of him that I don't pay attention to the cars. In fact he pretty much has a whole family who believe that if the car starts then...hey!!!!! whats to take care of!!! I don't NOT pay attention on purpose..in fact I see the damn thing blink every time I get in the car...it's just after a few blinks it goes by way of my subconscious. Well at any rate because I work quite a few hours and he is on vacation I know that he will take care of that for me and I am grateful...sometimes I forget to say that so here it is for all my two relatives to read about it. Thanks Stanley!!!!
I am a present hog. I love presents. I love to open packages...it doesn't have to be much, just paper and tape and I am in my element. So yesterday I reached a new maturity level after 56 years. I asked Stan if he had finished shopping for me and he said he had a few little things and I sat there thinking about the gas he just put in the car and the fact that I know he is just going to do the oil for me and I told him that what he has was enough. He got pretty quiet and it is hard to figure out what a man is thinking.... he probably thought it was a trick statement that what I really meant was that he had better get his butt to the closest jewelry store... but Stan if you are reading this.... you gave me the generous gift of your time yesterday without complaint, ran me all over town, fed me breakfast, gassed me up and I just know that the oil is going to be fixed AND you are shopping for all the food we are going to be eating at our home with our friends... so sweetie you have done enough.
I love you, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas 2007

Christmas is my time of year. I love the smells, the decoration, the greenery, the sparkles, the gifts, and the music. I would have made the best druid if Jesus hadn't come into my life. I am wholly into tradition that I have borrowed, studied, adapted and made into my own for my family with hopes that they will take the best part of my traditions add their own and make new memories for their families. I am in an unusual position this year. Instead of being home on Christmas Eve like I have for nearly 30 years with a glass of Champagne in my hand, doing dishes and making casseroles for Christmas breakfast, I am at work with my friend Jilly and Leslie and saying good by to my friend Fazie. I am attending at times to old men, drunks, vomiting babies and guess because of the circumstances I am where I am supposed to be at this time. I believe that God is teaching me something if I can just listen well enough. Joshua was going to go visit his dad, Steve this Christmas. He has never done that and I being the selfish mama hen never let him go over MY holiday. So I in tears encouraged him to go and made plans to work. Becky being a new nurse this year would work as well and we made plans to 'do' Christmas as tradition dictates this next weekend. Well, fate stepped in and Joshua got hired to dance for Nutcracker in New Orleans and he is home now in bed on Christmas Eve and I am at work. I have cooked the same meal for years now and am held to the menu that I started years ago by the kids. Joshua with Rebekah echoing the sentiment one year, when I omitted the yam casserole complained that the table didn't look right without it even though no one eats the stuff. So in the interest of color and harmony I make the yam stuff along with a Prime Rib Roast, broccoli and yellow squash casseroles, jello salad and pretzel salad. I do Brussels spouts with almonds and lemons that everyone loves and have a bread. Then I have a dessert of some sort. I can add to but can not take away. I usually have friends over for dinner so afterwards I have coerced labor in wrapping stocking presents (which must be done messy) while I, with the afore stated champagne in one hand prepare the Christmas casseroles for the morning.
This year I have been thinking about my mom and really really missing her. Maybe it was getting the tree ready and looking at the ornaments that she gave my kids when they were born or maybe it was just that I can remember that she made our Christmas's special or at least in my child mind they were always the very best. I was on the way to work tonight and Silent Night was playing and I nearly had to pull over. I was transported to Hoge Memorial Church at the midnight service holding a candle with my grey palazzo pants on and my white silk shirt with my amber beads on. I must have been a 'babe' back then. We were singing and mom looked over at me and said you look so pretty tonight. I can still see her looking at me like I was just beautiful. It made me teary to remember that look in her eyes. My memory, my holiday, my joy. I look at my children and see my mom in them. My son has a kindness and a love that comes from her and he is alive today because of her steadfast prayer and belief in God. In my beautiful daughter she graced with honor, and trust. She is such a confident young woman and filled with compassion like my mom. I believe that my mom gifted me with the love of laughter and family. She loved her girls. We were the most important aspects in her life, and what she did and who she was, was largely for us. While preparing for this blog I was taking pics of the ornaments that she gifted my children with when they were born. They are not crystal, made of gold or silver but they are angels for my angels. They didn't cost much but I still have them and they go on the tree each year and will go to my children to put on their tree, their first tree gift from a loving grandma. As I was taking shots I found several ornaments that I had as a child that still grace my tree. One is broken but it has a place of honor. My memory, my joy. Then in my picture taking tour I tried to find the ones that belong to my kids from grade school. I found two that Rebekah made but couldn't find the apples that Josh brought home in second grade. After perusing the pics I did see the apples tucked into the tree but they didn't make this blog.

This little blue angel was for Joshua on his first Christmas and he still looks for it each year
Becky was gifted this on her first Christmas, an angel for an angel.
This is an old Christmas Ball from when I was a child. It's really not pretty anymore, except to me. My memory and my joy.
These next two are from Becky in the first and second grade. How priceless they are to me.

This is my season of the year. I am at my best, my tiredest and my happiest at this time. I exist on no sleep, worry that the food wasn't right, wishing that I could do more and give more and be more. And I love it. I regret getting older because I will have to turn the reins over to my children and maybe will in that time be glad to do so but for now from my tree to yours, from my house to yours, and mostly from my heart to yours Merry, Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year. May our Lord reside in your homes to guide each of you this new year.

Wedding update vs. prednisone euphoria

December 20Th was a very good day. It started out not so good but ended on a rush for me... the cause to yet be determined but it was probably a combination of getting the hotel reservations for the wedding and getting a shot of dexamethazone for my tendons. Becky came to pick me up and take me to the doctors to get some blood work and my shot. I hate injections which should give you some kind of idea of the kind of pain I was in and have been for months. I over the last 1-2 months have managed to cry at least 6 times a day over nothing exception worry and exhaustion about my hands which have nearly been useless for the past month because of deQuarvas(sp) tendinitis and multiple trigger fingers that lock up on me. I think what was eating at me was the worry that I would be disabled.....when you can't wipe your behind without crying in pain...you are really in a world of hurt. I gleefully bared said behind and took my shot like a big girl. Then got my prescription for my 10 day dexpack of humpty dumpty steroids.
Becky and I then went to the Hilton and looked at the rooms and what they had to offer and got a contract. We have ROOMS!!!!!! We have a CHURCH!!!!!!!!! We have a wonderful ROOM PLANNER!!!!!! I was fairly dancing with delight. We sent downstairs to eat at the restaurant and prior to getting served she announced that the restaurant just wasn't working for her. Now in good sense.... what the hell did that mean?? She said that she wasn't feeling 'IT' and about that time the waiter came and we ordered. After all they have food, it doesn't smell bad, the service seemed lovely, the plates were clean and most important it was raining outside and it was dry inside....what's not to like?? We ate a good lunch and she drove me home. About that time the rain stopped, the sun came out all which spoke to me as a positive omen to go to Walmart. So I followed her in my car and off we went. On the way over I called my nurse practitioner the most awesome Aimee Guidry, to let her know that it was probably in my head but I was really feeling great, I had lots of energy...still hurt but it was better. She let me know that I might be getting mean due to the predisone....more than normal apparently but who cares. I don't see the attraction to narcotics when prednisone is available.... that stuff rocks. That night I emailed everyone about the hotel plans went to bed and woke up the next morning feeling better than I have in months. You know when someone gets a little tipsy and does some 'drunk calling'? Well I was in my car at 730am jetting off to JC Penney's to Christmas shop, prednisone text messaging multiple parties on my cell about how much I LOVE this stuff. They were all SO glad to hear from me that early in the AM. I am still in the best mood.... a little manic but whoo hooo.... I can jump rope..... (watch for that news item in the January blog. ) I may be a tad more snippy but generally I am feeling kindness towards most, I seem to be a happier, nicer person at least to me .... and no one else matters...... I LOVE THIS STUFF.
So what it seems that a combination of the prednisone and the fact that we have a church, rooms and all.... has just put me in the best of moods. Just in time for Christmas.!!!! Speaking of which I had a Christmas letter ready to go and my home computer has eaten my kodak picture site... I can't pull the needed pics up so my letter will have to wait(normally this would have reduced me into a spasm of tears but thanks to Ms. Prednisone I am still HAPPY)
You are all in my HAPPY thoughts tonight. God Bless

Delta Festival Ballet Co. and 2007 Nutcracker and Josh

On December 15 Becky and her wonderful boyfriend Shane drove me to Slidell, Louisiana to see the first performance of Nutcracker put on by Delta Festival Ballet Co. It was a trip down memory lane for me to see Joshua up on the stage again with his old ballet company. I was thrilled to note that he dances better than ever and that once again I have had the opportunity to see him perform in a professional venue.

Okay I have to address this issue. I have tried being modest.....but I HAVE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. There, it's out in the open I have said it and I meant it , every single word. I wish I could say that they look like me but they really do take after their daddies. I am not crazy about the shade of blush Joshua is wearing but hey it looks good on stage!!!
This is a pic of he and his partner for the soldier dolls in the beginning. They did a marvelous job!


The most exciting for me to see was the Arabian dance. I leaned over to Shane to tell him "see that's Josh!" To which Shane replied..... laughing.. I see that. I am rather dim-witted when I have had no sleep. This last pic is of Josh and three of the talented ballerinas with Delta. Thanks again to Joseph and Maria Giacobbe for puting on a Magical show

Retirement Home Part 2

Hi again, I promised more pictures of our retirement home and its surroundings. It actually is beautiful up in that neck of the woods(woods being the important word here....did I mention my fear of spiders?)at any rate the following are a continuation of our place in Eden.

When you start to feel overproud about your home then sure enough someone else moves in and does their place up nice like yours.( I think they must have some envy going on) The community of hunters mostly live in vacation homes like the one below. Stan got me on his 4 wheeler and took me for a ride. I really had a good time. My only dissappointment was that I didn't get a picture of me on the back. He has several deer stands and 2 of them needed repair. The picture below is one that he repaired the top cover on. Apparently someone else was using his stand while he wasn't there and shot a hole in the canvas... can you say 'drunk'... poor ole' boy got excited when he saw the deer and missfired or else that big ole' buck sprouted wings and was flying overhead!
The next picture is looking down the road from where his stand is located. This really is pretty country all joking aside. Stan hunts from a stand but alot of the hunters use dogs. They drop their dogs in at one section of the woods and the dogs chase the deer thru past the deer stands of the other hunters. Stan doesn't do that, he creates a feed plot and when Bambi et al come to eat, he shoots them. I am pretty much teasing Stanley here because if I didn't have deer sausage in my freezer I wouldn't be very happy and he does keep me supplied in sausage. Now we take our dogs hunting as evidenced below. They have never seen a deer unless you count the leftover sauage that they get as a treat. I would pretty much guess that they would bark alot prior to fainting if they came in contact with something big with horns.... what my babies are doing in this picture is slowly riding around the center of the camp ground with Stanley going about 2 miles a hour... they are hunting, hunting for leftovers.

Last but not least is a picture of Stanley with his 'baby'. Words cannot express how spoiled this dog is for Stan. She weighs 55 lbs now but will always be known as "the baby".
I hope you enjoyed the visit to our home away from home. If you get a chance read Retirement home part 1 to fully appreciate what we have here. Honestly Stan has done an incredible amount of work on his camper and it is comfortable... the spiders are few but still there and I am always on the hunt for one. I have yet to see a roach and no mice. Folks you haven't really lived until you go to sleep wrapped up in bulldogs on a bed slightly bigger than a single. Have a lovely day.

Retirement Home Part One

For those of you who have trouble with coveting what your neighbor has maybe you should just pass on by to another blog. I sure do not want to be the cause of you having the 'I-wish-I-had-what-she-has' coveting bug.... It is ugly to be jealous. For those of you pure of heart feast your eyes on this.....MY NEW RETIREMENT HOME IN MISSISSIPPI. Stan is a member of a hunting club and picked up this little white beauty for a SONG!!!!! He wanted to make it more roomy so he added the addition(the black part) this summer so that we could have a more formal area to entertain.(I do so love to entertain)
You enter in the white door and find yourself in the den then go thru another door to the kitchen. It has hot running water, a gas stove(the burners work...woohooo) and take a quick right into the refrigerator.
Now between the stove and the refrigerator is the bed. Its a pretty tight squeeze when you count on me, Stanley and the dogs but is is really really cozy. The guest Bedroom is directly above the bed in the loft... if you look close you can see it.

Here is the best part. The john. Its kind of narrow so you sorta have to have your pants down before you go in and if you have larger thighs you have to kinda stand to clean .... if you get my drift. BUT it also is a shower.... you just pull the curtain around and let 'er rip with the hot water. To save time you could go and wash at the same time.I can just imagine what you all are thinking. It's hard not 'git the envy' on but you know what.?!?! You all are KIN, or friends, or kin of friends so ya all can just come on down and visit when we retire. Stan and I are thinking about renting it out for the next few years.... you know put it on one of those time share thingies... maybe I could retire early... but since you all are friends you can come and stay for free!!!!!
watch out for tomorrow and retirement home part 2 will be out with additional pictures

Thanksgiving and Things for which I'm Grateful

It's been awhile since I sat down to blog. I was sick. I couldn't talk...and I know you are thinking that my laryngitis probably didn't affect my hands. It didn't except from the standpoint that I was so dadgum depressed that I was having trouble thinking. Illness seems to do that to me... I am not sick enough to stay home so I go to work and share my wondrous personality with those poor people that I work with. I also cry. A lot. I cry about everything. The low grade fever that I had seemed to settle in my joints particularly my wrists( I have been having tendon trouble in my wrists...whine, whine, whine) The low point was when I couldn't get out of the car because it hurt to damn bad to twist my wrist.... so I sat there and cried.... till I figured out a way to get out of my car. This long intro brings me to my first thing I am thankful for and that is my sisters. I talked ( in a painful whisper) to Barbara and I cried. A lot. She notified Patti and she called and I whispered to her for a while and cried. A lot. Both of them cared about me and I could feel it over the phone. I think they wanted to beat someone or thing up for me to make me better...isn't that great!! They love me and I am so thankful for that love and caring. There is no one who can really make you feel better than your mom... and if your mom is gone like mine is then it's your sisters, and God gave me some really first class, gold star, A #1 sisters. Thanks God!

During this same time I would walk into the house and start to cry for no good reason... maybe the sink was full or there wasn't enough milk for my coffee..WHATEVER .. and this brings me to the #2 thing I am thankful for and that is Stan. Nearly 28 years of marriage has taught this man to make sympathy noises and to stay out of the way AFTER he has done the hug, shoulder patting thing. He really makes an attempt to find out what is wrong and pretty much knows whatever it is is made much worse by the fact that I don't feel well. This time he convinced me to go with him to his hunting lease in Mississippi for my two days off( my next post will be about the hunting lease with pics... not to be missed!!!)AND he sweetened the pot and volunteered to get my 23 boxes of Christmas decorations out of the attic when we got back. This is really huge because just seeing the multiple boxes of Christmas things makes his blood pressure go up! Stanley cooks. Isn't that the best thing. He really cooks well. Not only that but he can hunt for our food if necessary. One of my best Thanksgiving/Christmas time was in Texas and my Mom was staying with us. Stan killed a wild turkey and we stuffed it with wild rice dressing. It was fabulous and mom talked about that meal for years. Stanley loves me too..... and at one point I think he would have beat someone or something up for me just to make me feel better. Thanks God for Stanley.

The next thing I am thankful for is my children. When I was feeling really bad and still at work my daughter came to visit me with Shane. Now the big thing here is that she had gotten off at 11 from her bad night to come and give me a kiss and a hug and to tell me that she loved me. It made me cry. A lot. Joshua had been hugging me a lot the first day or two I was sick and made all the good noises. The day after Becky came to see me, Joshua came upon me sitting eating cereal with the tears rolling down my face.... and he yelled at me. That made me cry more but I listened to what he had to say and it was good. I needed to get off my butt, start exercising, stay on my diet and get enough rest and STOP crying!!!. Sometimes yelling is really good and Joshua picked a good time because I woke up feeling better, and was able to talk again. I know that my kids love me and would go the extra mile if I needed it. I am so grateful that God picked just those kids for me. I look at my children and the people that they have become and I am so happy that I have had part in developing who they are. My 'babies' are my joy. Thanks God!!!

Well let's see.... I am thankful for my sisters, husband, kids... that is a pretty short list(it is the most important) so let me just name a few more items..... I am also thankful that I can still get up and go to work, that I have a job that I enjoy, that I have dogs who make me laugh, that I CAN laugh at most anything especially myself, that I have a house to live in, and that I love holidays. I am thankful for the food at my table, my patio, my new tennis shoes, Gavalia coffee, and my tap shoes and Ebay. I am thankful for my country, my freedom, my health and most of all Jesus.
Thanks God!!

Natural Disasters, Sisters and Donuts

I know, unless you don't ever watch TV, read a newspaper or listen to the radio, that you are all aware of what is happening in California. In case you are in the above group STOP WATCHING RERUNS AND LOOK AT THE NEWS. News Flash... California is on fire. Countless people have been displaced, thousands of homes have been destroyed, the damage is horrendous..... sound familiar???? If not stop reading because the rest of this blog will bore you....

My sister Patti is with the Red Cross in fund development. I am so proud of her. She is in charge of fund development in L.A. and will be out in California till the first week of November. As far as I am concerned they couldn't have anyone any better for the job; she is smart, a go-getter and truly cares about the people that her efforts will serve. I am in awe of what she is doing. YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!

My sister Barbara last week suffered her own disaster when she broke her left arm high up on the humerus. She was running to answer the phone(I was calling) and she fell down and broke her arm... kinda makes me responsible. She is healing as I write. More importantly she is very positive about what is happening to her. She told me the other day that Joshua had called and prayed with her and she really felt a change in her attitude. So YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!

Now on to me. I made the mistake of watching Mega Disasters on the Discovery Channel. It was talking about the Yellowstone National Park and how its just one big ass volcano and it isnt dead. I never really gave Old Faithful much thought other than to think how cool it was that you could set your watch by the guyser. Old Faithful is just a hint of what is teaming below the surface( i think they said 5 miles?) There is a HUGE lake of lava just waiting to explode. If it does, well then.... poof..... no more bread basket in the US or Canada. It also was clear that if it erupts there will be no more animal or people for hundreds of miles and then the world changes in that the weather will cool all over and crops will fail, droughts will happen, nothing grows people will die and on and on and on. Al Gore will never get over it if the earth doesnt heat up.... that would be the ONLY good side to an mega eruption. You notice how I talked about the bread basket region in the US and Canada.... follow my train of thought here... mega eruption> no more bread basket>no more wheat> NO MORE DONUTS. That morning I went into the Winn Dixie to get my supplemental fruit and veggies for my diet. I passed by the donut section that they prepare in the store and they had 4 french crullers in the case. They are my most favorite donut. I stood there for at least 5 minutes trying to figure out a way to justify getting all four and snarfing them down in the car before I got home. I took the high road and walked on by. THEN I see the mega disaster show. BINGO....I had my justification..... What if.... are you following me here?..... what if the big one happens and there will never ever be any french crullers again. I just gave up my last opportunity to eat one. I almost went back but I was too depressed about the big ass volcano to move.

Happy Birthday Rebekah!!

It has taken me longer to figure out how to scan and post these pictures than it did for me to deliver my 10 pound 9 ounce baby girl 26 years ago today. One of the hardest things was to pick out which pictures I wanted to use of the hundreds that I have. The top picture was taken in November of 1981 she was just a month old. The next pic was taken in Ohio. She was about 2 years old. We had a beautiful little dress for her to wear and she pitched a fit because she didn't want to take off her daddy's tee shirt. She had an angelic face and a iron will..... come to think about it she hasn't changed much in that regard!
When I was pregnant with Beck we didn't get to find out the sex like you do now. I just know that I was huge and everyone including my doctor said I was having a boy, a big boy. Imagine my surprise when I had my black haired baby girl that was so chubby her nose had disappeared. I remember Stan leaning over the bassinet in the delivery room and said "well she is a girl but she is big enough to carry a foot ball". He got on the phone and called everyone to tell them what a beautiful baby girl he had. Her brother Joshua was thrilled because he had prayed nightly for a baby sister. I never found out why he didn't want a boy. When I called him he was so excited..... Mommy I'm praying for a pony next!!!!!

Something happened to my black haired no-nose little baby. She got gorgeous. She kept growing, getting taller and the remarkable thing was she was just as lovely on the inside. Rebekah is my joy. She is calm, rational, lady like.... for instance the picture above at the Mardi Gras Parade in Lafayette... notice her lovely hat and coordinating necklace...........
and the above pic was taken in Churchpoint at the Mardi Gras festival where you run around with all the other inebriated party goers and try to catch a chicken to be put in the gumbo pot.
Christmas time is my favorite time of the year and Becky manages to look good even with antlers on.
All kidding aside, as I said before she is my joy. If I had drawn a blueprint up for a daughter she would have been beyond my wildest hopes. I was given a much greater gift than I ever dreamed I would have. She is my inspiration as I watch her go thru life. She has an incredible sense of humor, a dry wit and a wonderful outlook on life.
Becky my darling daughter thank you so much for the past 26 years, sharing your life has been an adventure. I am so very proud of you. Each day is a gift and I am thankful to God for you. You shine outside and in..... Happy Happy birthday, you are so very loved.
Mom

ER Conversation, White Castles and Billy Graham

Dr. V. Boles, most excellent ER doc was on last night. During a lull we (Dr. B., Jill and me) were discussing serious medical things namely farting. For those of you who have NEVER worked in an Emergency Department, trust me when I tell you that farts are some of the more bland subjects that come up.... anyway the subject somehow went from gas passing to White Castles... I can't imagine how that connects( I am laughing hysterically here). For those of you Southerners who have never visited up north a White Castle is one of life's little treats. Nicknamed Rat burgers and slyders, they have been around since around 1920 and are little squares of beef with holes spaced in the meat (so they cook fast) on a bun that has been warmed on top of the cooking beef ( in the grease) covered with little stinky onions. They shove them in a box and you order at least 10 to eat by yourself. In high school, when out with your boyfriend, you ordered 2 because " you just couldn't eat anymore" then after the date you and your best friend headed back to the Castle and ordered 20 more and wolfed them down like little fat pigs. In the south they have a pale imitation called Crystal Burgers. Not the same folks, not even close. I am not going to argue with you because Rev. Billy Graham says the person with the experience is not at the mercy of a person with an argument. ( Billy meant a religious experience but the saying seemed so appropriate here) And lordy I have the experience ... I have probably had 1000 + rat burgers in my life and my kids will tell you I cannot drive by a White Castle and not stop... I think it has been hot wired into my DNA.... BUT(this is important here) I can drive by a Crystal and not stop. I enjoy a Crystal but its just not the same....... but I digress.... hugely from my topic.
When I mentioned White Castles, Dr. Boles told us a true story that happened to her as a resident. Apparently there was this huge lady who came to the ER via ambulance because she thought she had cancer and was rotting. Doc said she easily weighed 400+ pounds and overflowed the stretcher and when she passed she indeed smelled the rotten flesh. What Dr. Boles found when she examined her was a badly decomposed White Castle under her left breast that had infected the area under her breast and had caused the skin to slough off. A WHITE CASTLE.... why couldn't it have been a Big Mac or a Wendy's Single. Apparently ONE AND A HALF WEEKS earlier her family had come by and brought in dinner....... and she LOST one under her breast.!!!!!!!!!!! She said that it was obvious she didn't bathe much..... what gave them the first clue???...... ummmmm maybe the WHITE CASTLE UNDER HER TITTY..... gross, gross, gross.
It is going to take some time before I will be able to eat a rat burger without thinking about this story..... talk about an appetite killer.... too bad it couldn't have been liver and onions..... cause I hate liver and onions.

Pet Peeves part 1 Body Part Names

PLEASE NOTE BEFORE READING... I HAVE CORRECT NAMES FOR SEVERAL BODY PARTS INCLUDED IN THIS POST. IF THIS OFFENDS YOU THEN STOP READING YOU IGNORANT BOOB.

In the last post about Karma my niece left me a comment wondering if I take the same care of my non-mice clients. Of course I do silly girl... as long as they, as adults, can present to the ER and talk about their ailing body parts sans nicknames.
This problem is a daily occurrence and reigns as one of my top pet peeves( and I have many)
Example: Large adult male(macho type) presents to the ER.
Me: what can I help you with?
Him: I have a problem
me: yes?

him: Its ummm (and vaguely waves his hand downward) there...down there

You cannot hand me an opening like this and expect me not to act on it!!!!

me: Looking to his feet....did you sprain your ankle...and looking really really sincere and puzzled.
him; ummmmm no..... my private
me: your private WHAT????
him: my private part...you know.....
me: Ohhhhhhhhhh you mean your PENIS or your TESTICLES?
him: uhhhh yeah
me: Which is sick....is it your PENIS or your TESTICLES or both your PENIS and your TESTICLE... ( looking innocent and very very sincere)
him: its my rod.
Me: ahhhhhhh the PENIS. Now we are getting somewhere. What is wrong with your penis
Him; Well he(that is a quote)has a burn and a drip


Okay you get my drift... and that conversation really happened and ones like it happen ever day. I figure if you can take your rod out to play without 'his' coat on you can at least say the name PENIS without embarrassment.
Men are really bad about this. They come in telling me that, (I am inserting penis names here) rod, the big man, peter, by best friend, timmy, mr. wiggles, and names like that.... has a problem... they talk in the third person and have a detached air about themselves as if they are talking about someone else.
I make them say the correct name. Say penis..... say testicle..... say I have a sexually transmitted disease because I am a stupid shit and went in without covering up.... It constantly amazes me that adults are embarrassed about their body part names. It comes from childhood. I remember when Joshua at 2 came home from the baby sitter announcing that he had 'drained his main vein' I asked him what he meant and he said you know mommy.... "I bled my lizard". I finally figured out that he meant he had peed in the toilet by himself. I called Debra and requested that we use correct terms...( yes I was one of those moms)in the back ground Joshua was yelling
" I holding my snake" Right now you mothers say to your children..... penis .... they will die laughing.... and may come up with "ohhhh mommy said a bad word"

I will allow that pet names are okay as long as the child knows that penis, testicle, uterus, vagina, and breast are the correct names... and if ,God forbid, they ever have to testify in a court of law that they know the correct names. If a child can express himself in the event of an encounter with a perverted individual... it makes our job so much easier.

Women also do the down there thing or the privates thing when they come in the ER. I had a lady say to me, when I questioned if the boil was on her Labia, "huh they let you all talk dirty in here"... I had a lovely young lady come in and tell me she had a boil on her PUBLIC AREA ( not pubic and probably not a mispronunciation the way she was acting)..... she at least tried bless her little loose heart.

Now you adults in the privacy of your own home make up all the names you want. Mr. Wiggly can play with Mutt, Jeff and Ms. tweedy bird ( don't be coy I know you can figure that out) but when you enter the ER.... PLEASE use the correct term.

Saving lives and good karma

In the past couple of years I have saved two lives that in the grand scheme of things may not seem important but I wonder how my intervention changed the course of the lives that I touched. The first was a drowning victim that I single-handedly rescued from the water and the second was a small life that would have been snuffed out after a suicidal leap from a distance five times the height of the victim in an attempt to escape his pursuers.

A few years back I was at work and had to use the bathroom. I went into the john and discovered to my dismay that a mouse was swimming in the toilet. It had fallen down from the off kilter ceiling tile. Trust me when I tell you that it was only by the Almighty's grace that I just didn't pull the drawers down and sit like I normally do... this time I just happened to look over my shoulder and caught sight of Mr. Mouse. I am quite sure the mouse was ever so grateful as well. I was in a dilemma...to flush or not to flush. I watched it for a while...just swimming around. Thought about it and came out to ask my co-worker her opinion. She look at me like I was NUTS and said flush it. You know, something just held me back. I made up my mind that if in an hour the mouse was still alive.... I was getting him out. Exactly one hour later I went back in and it was heart breaking. Mouse's little nose and whiskers were the only thing above water... he was exhausted....his little legs were barely moving. I ran to get a urinal and scooped Mr. Mousie up and carried him outside to release him. I gently poured him out and he laid on his side for a minute and then jumped up, scampered off and just before he disappeared he turned around , sat up on his hind legs and just looked at me and I believe he waved his little front paw at me. It was a real woman-mouse communication moment.

Then last night I walked into work and my two co-workers were screaming like girls....(they are girls by the way)apparently Ms. Mousie jumped out of Georgette's purse as she was trying to find her keys and scampered across the desk.( wouldn't that just surprise the shit out of you?) It was headed toward the end of the desk and it leaped over ending up in the trash can. I took the plastic liner out and took Ms. Mousie outside and freed her before someone else could grab her and smash her little mouse head. I had another mouse communication moment.. She stopped, sat up on her hind legs and moved her whiskers..while looking at me. I am developing an unusual reputation around here..... but you know what?.... did any of you ever see Cinderella...hummmmmm....I did and I have never forgotten what those mice did for her...with the dress and all. How about the mouse on the Green Mile.... makes me cry every time I watch that movie.
I am building up all kinds of good mouse karma, you just never ever know.....

Hair color or What in the hell have I done to myself

There is a saying in medicine..... a person who treats himself has a fool for a doctor. Now we all know that the AMA put that out so that the MD's, DO's etc could rake in the dough from people who with a little thought could really care for themselves.... I mean really.... isn't that what MedMD is for. You put in your symptoms and voila!!!! you have 20 diseases to choose from... It's kind of like a smorgesbord ... choose your syndrome... if one sounds nasty...pick another. People should be able to handle all sorts of things by simply following directions..... You can go to Lowes and learn how to lay hard wood floors and save a TON of money on installation. There are legal forms you can down load with INSTRUCTIONS on how to do all sorts of things that you would pay good money to have a legal eagle do........ and if you are the mother of a soon to be bride you need to save all the money you can.....(refer to saving money plans in my first post) Yesterday I discovered roots. Not A. Haley's but my own dull, grayish brown roots. And I thought ...I am going to save myself 100 bucks. I went to the store and bought some L'oreal for 17.00(because I am worth it) followed the instructions to the letter and got a color that was okaaaaay but not great like when Laurie does it. It just didn't shine.... and the color wasn't vibrant like on the package and I didn't look like the girl on the package either so that was a disappointment as well. So today I went to Sally's hair supply wholesale and got myself some more color. This is a demi-color..... it will wash out..(but trust me not nearly soon enough) and it is supposed to add shine 'so much you gonna need shades' to look at me...... I spent another 5.99 for the color and 6.99 for some processing stuff. I followed the instructions EXACTLY and i have black hair..... well that's not quite true... i have very very dark red hair with some dark, dark brown undertones... kind of a goth look. I am going to pull this off by wearing some really dramatic make up and pretending that I just LOVE the new me. Joshua just came in and didn't say a word... I called and asked him what he thought about my hair. He paused for a really long time and said it was umm great. (he was trying to find the words so that I wouldn't shave my head in a rash over correction) I told him that I was just going to bleach it out and be blond for a while..... and he says to me " Don't continue down the path of wrong choices" Is that not the most profound thing... he was apparently not impressed with my shiny locks
Well friends I have to go... I need to make a hair appointment, Doctor appointment and find an attorney just in case

The Tale of Ms. Puss and the Vinegar

My niece keeps asking me to tell this story. I really don't know how to do it without possibly offending anyone... that has never really bothered me before but offending someone orally is a heck of a lot different than offending them in print.
Once upon a time( over 30 years) in a place far far away.. there were 2 BEAUTIFUL girls in nursing school. Lets see we will call them Debbie S. and Patty G.Their nursing school was a boarding place and had very archaic bathrooms..... no showers just bathtubs..about 6 or so lining the bathroom. It was the job of each beautiful nursing student after bathing herself to wash the tub out with Clorox and comet cleanser. Now beautiful people tend to be lazy (except for Debbie and Patty) who were more mature and apparently cleaner than the rest and who ALWAYS cleaned out their tubs as ordered. These two innocent nursing students climbed into visually clean tubs but not hygienically cleaned tubs and contracted ummmmmm well....to put it clinically vaginitis from previous student bathers. Fairly soon in lecture the entire class (sans the 2 male students) that boarded were fidgeting in class trying to ignore the worse itch and burn in their nether regions or as we called it back then Ms. Puss. It was so noticeable that class was dismissed and all were sent to the student health center. Patty and Debbie were among the last and didn't have to disrobe or be examined ....down there.... thank the good lord.... as they were modest as well as beautiful and quite frankly the doctor had seen all the student Ms. Puss he cared to see. When they walked in he gave them two bags with hoses on the end and told them to douche with vinegar and water. As they walked away it hit them that they didn't know the concentration so Debbie walked back in and asked the concentration of vinegar and water. The doctor said clearly 4:1. Debbie and Patty, being the conscientious student nurses carefully mixed up the solution of 4 parts vinegar and 1 part water in their little bags with hoses... sat on side by side commodes and opened the valve. The first sound heard from both was a high pitched keening sound that would have broken crystal...... then Patty was heard going pouffe,pouffe, pouffe... blowing on Ms Puss to stop the burn. Debbie was still sucking in air in an effort to be able to scream again. Needless to say their malady was cured and they both learned a valuable lesson as nursing students.... to always verify orders from a busy doctor. It took some time for both of them to be able to smell vinegar based salad dressing without jumping up while pressing their legs together to protect Ms. Puss... and hobble to safety.
The End

Kay, JoJo, Ruth... Long distance Friends

I have had an opportunity to be in mail and phone contact with old friends just recently... and not just about the upcoming wedding but just getting back in touch. I'm sure that you have read various emailing about what makes true friend. As far as I am concerned there is only one marker and that is when you call, email etc. that the months or years fall away and it seems like yesterday that you talked with the person..... everyday contact is not a requirement.

I hadn't talked with Kay in years and contacted her by email a few months ago. .... caught her up on what was happening and got a great letter in return.... and found out that she is still one of the greatest people you could ever want to know. Kay is a successful veterinarian in Houston. She has been a blessing to me for over 20 years. She got Stan and I involved in dog shows which looking back was some of the best fun I have ever had. She gave Joshua a beautiful Gordon Setter for his birthday when we lived in Texas... Wildwinds Jazz a Bell and our first Gordon... Wildwinds Jive n Jazz.... 'Simon'. Our two Westhighland White Terriers, Carley and Bailey were from Kay as well. We were tag- a - longs but really had such a good time at all the shows. Memory is a funny thing..... one thing about Kay that sticks in my mind was the movie Dirty Dancing... I think we replayed the last scene.... remember...... when they do the great dance at the end .....over and over and over again. The other thing was mentioned in a previous post..... she would sigh.... a deep and expressive sigh that spoke volumes and usually was accompanied by an eye roll of Olympic quality..... it made me laugh and try as I might I have never been able to mimic it.

I talked with Jo-Jo night before last and hadn't talked with her in over a year....other than e-mails... she called me and again...it was like yesterday that we had spoken. I am a story teller.... I have a million stories that get repeated often and cause hilarity when told. Honestly JoJo has provided me with some of my best material... she has some of the best life experiences of anyone I know and when she would call with her latest escapade I would be weak from laughing. She and I have been friends for 25 + years.... her brother Ed gave me away when I married Stan. She was in the delivery room when I had Becky. She is mother to 5 really great kids and wife to wonderful Perry. Many of my current Christmas traditions were borrowed from JoJo. She came down for Mardi Gras 2006 and we had the time of our lives at the parade, catching beads and drinking wine. She had a world class mom.... Jackie..... who would occasionally stop by my home on the way to Florida from Texas.... with her huge boxer in tow(Brutus) Once she came in took a look around and told me ..... "I hope to God you're good in bed because you are a terrible housekeeper". She stayed for 3 days and put my house in order.

This morning I talked with Ruth. .... another 25+ year friendship. She started out as my baby sitter for 3 year old Joshua and ended up a part of the family. Ruth has 5 girls.... they grew up with my kids...When we lived in College Station, Texas.... not a day went by that we didn't see each other... she kept me supplied in cigarettes...because I DID NOT SMOKE. She prayed me thru more trauma than I care to remember. She fed my kids fruit roll ups, raisins, and chocolate chips. My favorite memory is Thanksgiving... we did Thanksgiving together and invited anyone who didn't have any place to go.... we had sometimes 30-40 people for dinner. She was pregnant one year and called me the night before......she thought she might be having contractions... I told her she was NOT allowed to have that baby..... she had pies and a turkey to cook plus she had a hankering for tomato aspic(which looks like jelled blood) and I had made her a large bowl of the stuff. I told her to take a pill, drink some wine.... and not be late for dinner the next day. She showed up.... in labor......with the food.... She spent some time with me two falls ago and I can still see her at the stove with her rhinestone encrusted reading glasses on holding a cigarette...
My children are richer because of Kay, JoJo, and Ruth. I really love these long distance friends. Joshua once told me that when I get old that he will take care of me. He added in Kay and Ruth and JoJo( and now my friend Jill).... said he would make sure that we were in the same room together in the home. I am sure that you all are comforted by that promise!!!!!

Thanks to the three of you wonderful women... you have given me some of my very best memories.. and have shared in my life even in the worst of times.... here's to another 25 years.

Dogs, forks and ice cream

THE BABY

MR. BENTLEY

DEMI

We have three dogs. Demi, my sons' dog is a boxer, Bently an English Bulldog and Elizabeth another English Bulldog. Demi is by far the most intelligent and, I swear to you, understands just about everything you say to her. Joshua has her trained to voice and hand commands.... not by any special training but just by talking to this lovely animal..she watches him and nearly always anticipates everything he is wanting or thinking about. Bently is a credit to his breed in that he is a gregarious animal and great family dog. Elizabeth is the BABY.... and she is stinking spoiled rotten by Stan. My husband Stan is a very rational, clean, sensible individual EXCEPT when it comes to his baby, Elizabeth. Elizabeth can do no wrong....or if she does, the wrongness of what she does is greatly reduced by how cute she is doing it. She devours the tassels off of his shoes and he smiles. She tears magazines and newspapers up and he is mellow. She spends most of her day on top of or beside Stan if he is home. She likes pretty much everyone but she ADORES Stanley. Stan feeds her off of a spoon and or fork. The first time I saw him do this I was stunned ...... this is so unlike Stanley... and gives a whole new meaning to feeding from the table. Now to be fair he shares with the other dogs as well. When I saw him first do this I nearly peed myself laughing. The older dogs were sitting on the floor at his feet and Elizabeth was on the couch next to him. They never took their eyes off him and his large bowl of ice cream... I called names, yelled at them and no one moved a muscle.... eyes shifted slightly to see if per chance I might have some food but darted back to Stanley... the person currently holding their favorite food. To be honest...their favorite food is anything that you have. I believe that they think if a human eats it it has to be better than Pedigree. Stanley took his spoon and gave a bite to Elizabeth which she snorted off the spoon not spilling a drop. Next came Bentley... with the same result. Demi is last and she is more delicate and she is quite frankly a DOG so she licked the spoon resulting in a ice cream plop on the floor which Bently ate. Stan was upset with Demi because she couldn't eat from a spoon..."the other dogs do it...why can't she"... My first thoughts: well she is a DOG..... they don't have opposing thumbs and most dogs I am aware of (please correct me if I am wrong) don't use silverware to scoop up kibbles. The BABY thinking she missed a turn takes her paw and gently taps Stan on the arm or stomach..... as if to say.... HEY YOU MISSED ME.... FEED ME I'M the BABY!!!!!! I was vaguely insulted for Demi who is really the smartest dog in Carencro if not the whole state of Louisiana so for the next WEEK when i should have been in bed early I was teaching her on the sly to eat off a fork and spoon....never even questioned myself about the logic or sanity of my actions. As I am writing this I am thinking about my friend Dr. Kay McGuire, DVM..... she used to have this HUGE sigh accompanied by a world class eye roll when she came upon something stupid or someone who was behaving like an ass... I know that if she is reading this what she is doing..... hope her eyes don't lock. To end this dear friends know that Demi is still more delicate with silverware but can eat off a fork and spoon like a champ. I don't spoil my dogs like Stanley does.... the only treat they get from me is sugar free/fat free whipped cream in a can. .... don't get grossed out... they have their own can... I squirt it out of the can about 3 feet above their heads( the aerosol is bad for them i am sure!!!) and they snatch it out of the air.

Elite School for the Performing Arts/ Cornerstone Dance Theatre

Allow me to introduce my son and his business partner. They are the proud owners of Elite School of the Performing Arts. Elite is the home school for their non-profit dance group Cornerstone Dance Theatre. Cornerstone represents all dance genre : jazz, hiphop, ballet, tap God truly directed them to this fabulous building 2 years ago and enabled them to continue on this year. They started out with no money and a very kind landlord. They are doing better and better each year. They still don't really have a paycheck but HEY!!! the bills are paid, other dance instructors are getting paid and each year things are looking up!! This years performance is on tape and i will be happy to send it to you to view. I will also be happy to receive a check for any amount made out to Cornerstone Dance Theatre. We do have non-profit status in the state of Louisiana and will have federal as soon as we get the paper work submitted(its finished) with the 500.00 submission fee(we are close to having the money). Please don't think 'dance review' because it's not. You will be very surprised. Don't forget, I am serious, If you would like to see the tape send me your address and i will send it to you. I am that proud.
The picture below is Desiree Doucet, married to the most understanding of all husbands, Patrick and mother to Charlotte, Corinne, and Olivia.... her three beautiful girls. Desiree has a very impressive resume in dancing... please check it out at their site on line at www.eliteschoolonline.com She is in charge of all business ends of the operation and the ballet mistress for the junior company. She is also the outreach dance instructor in a local private school.
Joshua is the Ballet Master for the senior company. His resume is also online at the above address and is equally as impressive. He is the owner of the smartest of all canines Harts Angel on Demipoint or Demi to her friends. (she will be featured in another post...don't miss why dogs don't eat with utensils)He is my son and the brother to Becky, the bride to be. Joshua is a choreographer and has been teaching all over the country. Its not just traditional ballet...... you would be surprised.

First day of real wedding stuff/ church hunting

Aren't they the best looking couple? Shane and Becky have tentatively set a date for September 13,2008. But that could change because we only have the reception place, finding a church may prove more difficult. We scouted out the "favorite" place yesterday. They had previously sent Becky a paper with multiple orders that had to be met before they could even schedule the ceremony. One of which was I had to certify that she had never been married before. Then we had to have a baptismal record which of course we don't have because she is the product of a Assembly of God/Baptist union. Both of those believe in baptism after you really understand the full implications..... in other words we do not sprinkle. We do a great dedication but no to the baptism until we can put you in a robe and dunk you in a baptismal pool... or in my case I got dunked in a river. Down here you don't see to many river dunkings probably because of the toxic waste found in most of Louisiana water.... and too, the alligators and cottonmouth snakes would tend to discourage open water baptism. We kept the appointment and met with a lovely woman I will call...spider lady.... she was skinny, old, smelled musty...did have great jewelry on though and had lo-o-o-o-ng pauses down to a fine art. I had worked the night before and had not been to bed. The appointment was at 2pm. We handed her the paperwork and she looked it over and said ohhhhhhhhhhhh this wont do. We had only a copy of Shane's baptism record not a recently certified, blessed by the Bishop, sealed copy. Then asked Becky for her record... (which we don't have..)..long pause.....oh my.....long pause.... play- with -her expensive- brooch -with -her- spider- fingers. WELLLLLLL I will go and find out what we need to do. Shane was not happy, Becky had her 'blank'face in place and I was in full fidget mode... my legs were swelling, cankles getting bigger I was really really irritated. She came back in and repeated previously given information and indicated we would have to get the missing documents and make another appointment.. Shane and Becky were ready to leave as I was but I just HAD to ask if she could go over the rules so that we would know whether or not this was really the place. Shane didn't move his head he just looked at me out of the corner of his eyes and his face got red.... Becky closed her eyes... and the woman read....and read.....and read....slooooooooooowly. The reason I know this isn't the church for us is the rules banning running naked thru the church, the refusal to allow mooning from the front and no animal participants. Shane burst out laughing said I guess that has happened for it to be mentioned in the book. Spider Lady just pursed her lips and said welllllllllll. So come on.... I can understand no streaking....but no MOONING??????....... and no animals?????... Stan kinda thought it would be cute for Elizabeth the bulldog to be outfitted to carry the ring..... I hadn't approached Becky yet but i have a feeling that would have been a NO anyway.

9/11

9/11/07
As I sat and watched Fox news this am they had a replay of 9/11/01. The tears continue to come each and every time I see what happened to us on that day. I sincerely hope that will never change.... that i will continue to feel the emotion, sorrow and pain that the images give me. I will never forget and will pray on this day each year for those who lost loved ones and for all of us that this never happens again. When I am blessed with grandchildren and they see me cry over the anniversary of this day i will tell them it was the day we changed and that we lost not just lives but our innocence. I will never forget.

Cameras, eye balls and best friends

Oh bliss, the wonder of it all..... the camera does it all by itself. I hooked the camera up to charge up the battery(it didn't need it...I have only taken 8 pics but you never know and I want to be prepared) and the computer sucked the pictures out of the camera onto my Kodak site. I want to share them with you or at least the first few. Tonight I will try to get pictures of Becky, Shane and Stanley on here.This is a picture of my eye ball, I was playing with the camera and looking into the lens to see if it opened and closed like it should and I snapped a pic of myself...nearly blinded me. The DHC makeup is working......really.... I know you can't tell but I was hard at work and I was tired and the bags would be A LOT worse without my Eye Bright from DHC
The above pic for those who dont know me at all is of my son Joshua Hart or the-man-who-dances. He usually has hair but per agreement with his dancers for a job well done he shaved his head after the last performance. He forgot about his photo shoot with a local magazine...but he is still cute.


These next two pics need a slight explanation. This is one of my very best friends who tends to be slightly paranoid about having her pic on the internet. She is afraid she will attract a stalker. She really is very cute under the bag. Please enlarge the pic so that you can see the tiara she drew on top.

Future son-in-law, camera continuations

I was surprised and thrilled to see a blurb on page 2 of our newspaper about my future son-in-law. It concerned his promotion in the Louisiana National Guard. He was promoted to sergeant first class in a ceremony held on 8/26 by his unit, Headquarters and Headquarters Company, 256th Infantry Brigade Combat Team. It followed that "Garrard, a veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom III, has numerous military awards to include the Global War on Terrorism Medal, the Iraqi Campaign Medal, the Meritorious Service Medal, the Louisiana Cross of Merit and the Louisiana War Cross. He joined the Louisiana National Guard in April 1994"



I liked Shane from the first time I saw him. He is a funny, intelligent, hard working and sweet guy(boy is he going to that THAT description) He has plenty to brag on about himself but you never hear him talk about himself in that light..... so I have done it for him.!!!! Benny and Frances (his parents) you raised a wonderful man for my daughter and I am so very grateful to you. You are blessed.



Now on to really serious things here... I can take pictures. I have great pics of the dogs... what I am having trouble with is getting them out of the camera into my computer then into this blog area. I am hoping to start displaying pics by tomorrow but it isn't looking good. I am techno-tarded. You all have no idea how thrilled i am that I have been able to set up this blog. My most beautiful niece Carrie is giving me tutorials via email and as long as i do exactly what she says i am doing great. I am going to keep a note book so that i can refer back to instructions. The afore mentioned future son-in-law is the V.P. of Omni COMPUTER Store..... So i know you are thinking.... why not ask him?.... well i would except i think it makes my daughter slightly upset for one of two reasons... 1)The volumes of calls that would happen if I felt i had free rain to call him each time i got confused( no more than 50 a day!!!!!) or 2) she doesn't want him to realize just how computer stupid I am!!

I will figure out how to load pics by tomorrow.

My New Camera

It came, it came, my new camera came. I don't understand it . It has cables, wires, pokey things, and a CD that I have to play to learn how to operate the thing. I don't do well with written instructions.....I need hands on, in your face.. this is how you do it personal type involvement.. BUT I will try to learn. Today is Saturday at 430 in the morning and I am at work. I was able to turn the camera on and took a great shot of my right eyeball. It's ridiculous how excited i was. Its got 10 or 12 megapixies things... which apparently means that i can blow pictures up to poster size and retain the quality. I CANT WAIT TO TAKE PICTURES..... coming attractions.... my cankles in my new z-coil shoes, Becky's engagement ring, all the picture 'hints' mentioned in the first post..... my mind is buzzing with all the possibilities of things that i can photograph and share on my blog!!!!! Carrrie how will i ever thank you for opening up this brand new way of self expression!!!!You of course are the bomb!!!!

My First Ever Blog

My niece Carrie tells me that all the 'cool kids blog' so that i need to get in the groove. Apparently the only cool kids in our family are Carrie, Robbon, and now me!!! I really don't know much about this so I will be feeling my way along. The fun thing is I get to put in pictures... the 'more funner' thing is I got a NEW camera. I have bounced myself into the digital age via HSN. You see last week I was left alone. Joshua(picture to follow) was teaching a dance course in Indiana and Stan(picture to follow) was in Mississippi at his hunting lease putting a 'room' on his trailer(pictures to follow) I was left alone with the 2 dogs. Elizabeth the English Bulldog(picture to follow) was in Mississippi with daddy'. Demi the boxer, and Bently the English Bulldog(pictures to follow) weren't as entertaining as they usually are and I was channel surfing. Somehow HSN came on and they were selling cameras. WOOHOO I just love that flex pay option. I ordered a Kodak something or other. My sister Patti tells me its a good camera. Now all I have to do is learn how to use it and I will be a picture taking fool in no time and post all the above mentioned shots. I have two wonderful children. Joshua the dancer and Becky the nurse. Becky(picture to follow) is getting married to Shane( you guessed it...picture to follow) in about a year. I just got the estimates for the wedding...and thank God I was sitting. I however nearly choked on my sunflower seed that I was sucking on. I shouldn't have bought the camera.... it would have paid for a flower. The only thing pressing in my life now is to figure out how to use the digital camera, pay for a wedding that has the budget that would keep a third world country in food for a year, and most important.... lose the 100 lbs that I have gained so that my glide down the aisle will be met with gasps of surprise and comments about how OUTSTANDING I look...finally.

Diets, Makeup and saving money for the wedding planner

In approximately one year Stan and I will be giving our daughter away. I have the estimated cost from the wedding planner. Boy does that sound snooty....wedding planner..... but the wedding planner is looking like the most important person in my life currently. I have NO TIME. I work obscene hours and as I get older I have trouble keeping track of things. The ultimate important person in the wedding is the one-who-keeps-track-of-things. Actually that person is second to the-one-who-pays-for-things but he is still a very important person. As I stated last post I nearly choked when i saw the estimated cost. With what I felt was a reasonable cost apparently all we could have had was a preacher in cutoffs in the backyard with balloons, hot dogs, and a Twinkies Cake. But you know what, I do so love a good party so I am evaluating the things that I can give up or do without to save money for the-one-who-keeps-track-of things.

Thing number one: DHC skin care. Any of you all heard about this stuff? Its the ultimate revenge of the Japanese. I started using DHC several months ago and it ain't cheap. I use the Platinum Silver Nanocolloid Milky Essence alternating with Fermented Soy Milky Essence followed by the Platinum Silver Heavy Cream twice a day. Oh,oh, oh i forgot I cleanse my face with olive oil and olive oil soap... balance my face with CQ10 toner then use the above. At bedtime after all the above I slather on pure virgin olive oil. Then I use the Bright Eyes ointment to decrease the bags I get( from working so much to pay for this stuff). Twice a week I use the Tourmaline face pack Now I don't know if it is doing any good. I am too scared to quit using it. The packaging alone is so pretty that when I see it I can feel my face tightening up and paying for it makes other areas of my body tighten up.... but hey.. I have been telling myself that I am worth it. This was before the wedding or BTW.

Thing number 2: The other area that I spend alot of money on is my diet. I have been on Nutrisystem for several months now. It is a fabulous diet. I LOVE the food. They send you everything you need except the salad stuff, milk stuff and vegetable stuff. They even send you dessert. Man oh man is this stuff great. Diets are not supposed to taste good. You are on a diet because you are being punished for having no self control. Suffering makes you reflect about how bad it was to choose Ding-Dongs over the carrot sticks for the past 20 years. Nutrisystem is addicting and yes I have been cheating, so much so, that I have wasted the past 3 months. Now I can quit ordering the food and try to do this on my own and save money for the-one-who-keeps-track-of-things or I can really really really stick to this diet and lose my 100 pounds BTW.

Thing number 3: I get my hair done once every 3 months...100 bucks and I am good to go. That includes color, cut and tip. To keep my hair really nice I started using John Sebastian hair products about 2 months ago: Shampoo 18 bucks, conditioner 13 bucks, laminating stuff 18 bucks(its makes your hair shine.... really!!!!) and hair spray 15 bucks. I should go back to White Rain, I know I should.... it's just so hard.

If I stop using all the above I could save a fair amount of money but then I close my eyes and envision the wedding with me sitting in the front row..... overweight, thin grey hair, with sagging skin and eye bags. People will swear my mother has returned from the great beyond. I really owe it to my daughter and her boyfriend to look my best. Maybe I could have a car wash or a bake sale.......